She gave me her patented innocent little girl look and I wondered how in the hell she’d been able to hang onto that shit after the life she’d had living with those two fuckups. That innocence had a way of digging under my skin though and right about now that could be dangerous for her.
She still looked unsure as she looked around the room anywhere and at anything but me. I sighed and relaxed my stance a little. Can’t expect her to come around in one night Creed.
“Come ‘ere.” She’s the only thing breathing that I have any patience with; it’s always been that way since I’ve had her. Before that in my day to day, I was known to be hard with not much give, if any.
The men of my crew know not to fuck with me, not even once, because I don’t forgive worth fuck and I hate the fucking word sorry. I’d as soon gut punch an asshole as listen to his pansy ass excuses for fucking up.
So my rep is that of a straight up motherfucker. I give a fuck. Like I said, she’s the only thing I’ve ever given a damn about in my whole fucked up life and it looks like I’d done a piss poor job of protecting her; that all ends here tonight.
When she was standing in front of me I took both her hands in mine and looked into her amazing eyes. Her hands were almost childlike as was the rest of her, except for her rack.
There was nothing childlike about the Double Ds on her chest, which were about the only things that differentiated her from a teenager. Thank fuck she didn’t have them the last time I’d seen her at eighteen, or little Jessie would’ve been well and truly fucked. Even then she’d come pretty fucking close. Down boy! My rod was working on memory overload.
“You know you have nothing to fear from me right?” She nodded her head but I wasn’t convinced. I was pretty sure that I was gonna have to regain her trust.
I studied her for a long time, weighing the pros and cons of questioning her now, of getting to the bottom of whatever hell she’d been through. I had a need to know every single one of her hurts so I could put them to rights.
No, better wait until there was more road between me and Sal the fuck, or I might go back and kill his ass while she was in the same air space. I wasn’t about to introduce any more fuckery into her life, but that fuck’s day was coming. “Get to bed we’ve got a long day tomorrow.” I squeezed her hand and released her.
She went into the bathroom and I jumped off the bed and hit the door. I couldn’t even risk being that close with her in the next room naked. It’s not like I don’t think about her every second of every fucking day, but at least I get to keep my distance. Me having to be here, be in the same room with her, is going to fuck with my program.
How the fuck was I gonna make it the next three days until her birthday? My cock was unruly at best and this one he really wanted. He’s been waiting three years to humble her; three long fucking years of beating off and second grade fucks, which were never anything more than a quick release.
I’m not sure if I’m in love with her, though I suspect that I’d been falling in love with her a little bit here and there over time, but I do know I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel for her.
Love isn’t something I was familiar with, not until her at any rate. But even there the shit was confusing, because what I’d grown to feel for the little girl, was nothing compared to what I now bore the near woman. And fuck me sideways with a crowbar if this shit wasn’t scary as being in the warzone.
I didn’t really have a basis for what she does to me, nothing to compare it to I mean. As a man of action I like to know what I’m dealing with. I like shit spelt out for me like I’m a two year old so when I have to fuck somebody up for their shit, at least we were both on the same page before they fucked up.
The shit she makes me feel has no rhyme or reason. There’s no pattern to the fucking madness or the way she consumes my every thought even when I don’t want her to. Shit’s not fair, it’s like I didn’t have a choice. And that right there is why I think I might be in love. Fuck!