I’d come to see her on my last deployment before I timed out and got the shock of my life. I’d been expecting my sweet little girl who’d grown some over time, but no big surprises. What I found was a fucking cover model with a body to rival any porn stars’.
I’m ashamed to say that I’d been angry back then-angry at the thought that someone else was one day going to enjoy all that. Then I was pissed at myself for looking at her that way, for even thinking of her in the same way I’d thought of other women I’d bedded, that meant nothing more than the hour or so I usually spent on a fuck.
It’s when I realized that what I was feeling was actually a little bit more than that that the fun really begun. I was in a fucking quandary and that’s a fact.
There was no doubt that I wanted her, but how could I do that shit? I’d spent all our time together trying to get her not to feel obligated to me in any way. How could I now take her?
Would she give herself to me out of some misguided sense of loyalty? I didn’t want that shit. But I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her that whole fucking weekend.
I found myself wanting to fight every male that came within ten feet of her, and was actively glaring fuckers away. She on the other hand, didn’t seem to notice the men flocking to her like moths to a flame. She was still the same shy, sweet Jessie, only now she had the body of a fucking siren.
When we talked, I wondered if she realized that I wouldn’t even look at her? I daren’t risk it. No joke, everything about her made me hard that weekend and even as I sat having dinner with her in the only diner the piece a shit town had, I was mourning the loss of her innocence, and whatever ease we once had, because I was sure we were never going back there again.
It got so I had to physically restrain myself from touching her. When she spoke I found myself following the movement of her lips with my eyes with my breath held. It was pathetic.
I’d come way too fucking close that weekend to crossing the line. After the childhood I’d had, I’d taught myself not to deny myself anything.
I fought hard and fucked harder and made no bones about it. I’d stopped believing the world owed me something, but that weekend I was starting to look at her as my prize. My gift for doing something good for once in my fucked up life, and that was no good.
My dick stayed hard and my thoughts never stopped wandering to the nearest bed. It was a minor miracle that she made it intact that weekend. I spent the time taking her in, studying her, listening to her. I was preparing myself for not seeing her again. It was the only way.
After that I stayed away more and more even when I got out. I was too chicken shit to even Skype anymore and I knew I hurt her with that shit, but it’s what was best for her, or so I told myself at the time.
I just sent money for whatever she needed, got a progress report once or twice a month and stayed the fuck gone. It almost killed me to leave her, and in the beginning when she’d beg me to come it would tear a hole in my gut.
I couldn’t tell her why I was staying away after all, but I think somewhere along the way she started blaming herself for my absence. That’s when she stopped asking.
But then the inevitable happened and I ended up seeing her again not long after that; that was the last time before I really cut and ran.
That was more than two years ago. That’s also when I’d seen that look in her eye that had scared the living fuck outta me.
It was one thing for me to find myself wanting her, but something else entirely to see lust looking back at me from her beautiful eyes. I’d run that day and kept running until this.
Chapter 5
Creed
Now she stood staring back at me from across the room with the piece of crap towel clutched against her chest. “Go get dressed babygirl.” Yeah, and do that shit quick before I lose my shit and fuck you way too fucking hard and a couple days too soon.
The shot I got of her ass as she turned to walk away didn’t help matters any. How the fuck did she fit all that goodness on that five foot fucking frame? I had to shake my head to dispel the vision that came into it.