Now in a few more days if I make it, she was going to be mine in every sense of the word and nothing and no one was ever going to fuck with her again. I’ll make it up to her if it’s the last thing I do, make up for all the heartache I’d inadvertently caused by being a fucking dupe.
On that note I turned on my side and prepared to sleep until morning. Tomorrow was the start of our life together. I might have to wait a few days to put her under me, but starting tomorrow I was going to start staking my claim.
I hope like fuck she was able to deal with this shit because there was no alternative. I’d already made up her mind for her.
Chapter 6
Jessie
I’m too excited to sleep. What does it all mean? Why had he come? Why now? And the way he looked at me, the way he reacted when he saw my naked body. It had given me butterflies, nothing at all like when…
I cut myself off before the thought could take ahold of me, not here, not now. I wanted to think only of Creed. He was back. It had been so long. Sometimes I thought I would never see him again, I cried myself to sleep many a night over that.
But now he was here, just a few short feet from me, but what did it all mean? Am I gonna go live with him now, or will he find somewhere else to pack me off to?
That sounded really disloyal and I don’t mean to, but sometimes I get so mad that no one lets me have any say. If they did I would’ve told them a long time ago that I wanted to go live with him.
I guess that some would say that I was old enough to leave. I was smart enough to get myself a little job and maybe a place of my own. But he would never let me. I knew from other conversations that he would never let me go out on my own, even if he had stayed away himself.
There were times I thought of it though. Times when I got so mad at him, at her, at everyone that had any kind of say in my life. But then I would become ashamed of myself.
I owed him my life, and though she’d not been nice to me, at least she had kept a roof over my head, food on the table.
I’m pretty sure Creed had a lot to do with that, that he was the one looking out for my welfare from afar.
Each time he came in the past it was always like Xmas and my birthday rolled into one and when he’d leave I’d die a little. Especially when he was going off to war.
He’d always tell me where he was going, when he could that is. It was the times when he couldn’t that scared me the most. But the times it wasn’t some top-secret mission, he’d show me on the globe he’d got me for my room where he was going to be.
Every night I’d focus on that exact place and imagine him there and pray for him to be safe. I never understood never questioned really, how we just meshed from the very beginning.
I never feared him the way I did some of my dad’s friends that use to come around all the time. He’s the only person I’ve ever felt safe with, the only one I trusted. It was as if we’d known each other all our lives, from the first second he had taken my little hand in his.
I think in the beginning we both were scared, I know I was. I had no idea what was going to become of me that day. The old man had been threatening to do it for a while, but somehow I’d always talked him out of it.
Looking back now I wonder why I even bothered, since he was never much of a dad. But that day he’d gone into one of his rants about what a burden I was and how he had to get the monkey off his back.
That was the first time I couldn’t talk him down. I remember being so afraid; I just knew he was going to sell me to one of his friends. At twelve I wasn’t as very well aware of what their leering looks and hungry eyes meant.
I remember the raw fear, the panic and the taste of defeat, as I stood in that parking lot in the dark, defenseless, nowhere to run, no one to help. And then he came along. I thought he had to be a movie star or somebody famous the way he moved and his beautiful face.