“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” she argued, her voice still quiet. “You think I don’t know things, Will? You think your dad keeps me in the dark? Just because I don’t say much about the club, doesn’t mean I don’t know most of what goes on there, especially when it has to do with my kids. I know about that supplier that you—”
“You’re an old lady,” I said stubbornly. My gut burned with shame, but I let a surge of anger overpower it me as I made eye contact. “You keep your mouth shut.”
Mom’s eyes flared wide, then shuttered as she took a step toward me. “I love you, Will,” she said, her voice hard. “But if that filth ever comes out of your mouth again, you won’t be welcome in this house.”
She didn’t rush as she walked around me, and I didn’t turn around as I heard her start up the creaky stairs to her bedroom. She was going up there because she knew I wouldn’t follow. My parents’ room had always been off-limits to us kids, for obvious reasons, and also so that my mom had a place that was all her own where she could get away from us for a few minutes. She’d gone up there because she wanted to get away from me, and I wasn’t surprised.
If my dad had heard that conversation, he would have knocked me on my ass and I would have deserved it.
“Shit,” I glanced around for something to hit, then dropped my hand. I couldn’t leave a hole in one of my mother’s walls.
Stomping out to my bike, I glanced up to see my mom standing in her bedroom window watching me leave. She didn’t acknowledge me as I climbed on my bike, though, just stared like she was trying to figure out when her son had become such an asshole.
Molly was at work for another hour, so I stopped and grabbed a bottle of Jack then drove over there, letting myself into the quiet trailer. I sat down at the table and cracked the seal on my bottle of oblivion.
I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. I couldn’t get out of the fucking run. No way. Dragon was looking for any reason to be up in my face. If I tried to get out of it, I’d only be proving his point about my head not being at the club, where it was supposed to be. I’d been standing on thin ice for so fucking long, I didn’t even remember the last time I’d felt comfortable taking care of my own shit without worrying about the blowback from the club. The Aces were my brothers. The only family I’d ever known. I couldn’t screw that up, especially for a woman who’d refused to even stop by my parents’ house when I’d invited her to Thanksgiving dinner because my dad freaked her out. I was pretty sure she’d never step foot on the club grounds if she could help it, and where the fuck would that leave me? Choosing between the two?
I was taking a drink straight out of the bottle when Molly’s door was shoved open and Reb came through, carrying a stuffed cat, her glasses crooked on her face.
“Hey,” Molly called as Rebel came to me, lifting her arms for me to pick her up.
“Hey,” I called back, pushing the bottle of Jack to the middle of the table where Reb couldn’t reach it.
“Damn, you’re not messing around,” Molly said, eyeballing the liquor. “No chaser.”
“Only bitches use chasers.”
“Uh, language,” she huffed, dropping Reb’s bag on the floor. “And don’t be an ass.”
“You can say ass but I can’t say bitches?” I mused as she slid off her coat and came to pull Reb’s off, as well.
“What’s going on?” she asked quietly as she tugged on Reb’s sleeve.
“Nothin,’” I mumbled as Reb’s hand smacked me in the mouth.
“You sure?” She looked at me in concern, and that burning guilt started roiling through my gut again. She was so gorgeous. Sweet as fuck. She didn’t push or prod, didn’t ask where I was when I had a late night, never turned me away from her bed, even when she was on the rag and I knew she was uncomfortable with the mess. She supported herself, didn’t expect me to do it, even though I wanted to. Took care of her kid with no complaints, even when Reb was waking her up all night. Hell, she even knew when to keep her mouth shut. She hadn’t even told her best friend that she’d seen me in the hospital.
She was fucking perfect, and I knew there was no way in hell it would ever work.
“Everything’s fine, sugar,” I said softly, reaching up to grip the back of her neck to pull her in for a kiss. Her lips met mine and I knew I was a fucking psychopath, because I was going to take that trust she gave me and break it, but before I did that, I was going to fuck her into oblivion over and over again so she’d never forget the way I felt inside her.