I lifted a hand to my face and dug my fingers into my eye sockets. All I could hear in my head was Trix screaming for her papa.
* * *
“Keepin’ Lily here,” Casper told me quietly around four in the morning, his eyes sunken and dark. “I’m gonna take CeeCee to a hotel for the night.”
They couldn’t go home. I didn’t know how any of us would go back there. Fuck.
“Okay,” I said with a nod, glancing over to see my little sister curled up in a chair. She looked about ten years old and my throat caught.
We’d moved out of the surgery waiting area once Callie had been put in her own room, and the new space was a lot smaller than where we’d been. Samson and his old lady had taken Tommy and Rose back to the clubhouse earlier to sleep in Grease’s room. The kids had a hard time leaving with the long-haired man and his woman, but eventually they’d relented. All the adults from our family were staying at the hospital and they’d needed any sleep they could get.
“Everybody’s outta the woods, need to get the kids to bed,” he said tiredly. “You taking Trix home?”
“We know what the fuck’s goin’ on?” I asked. “Don’t wanna take her home to more fuckin’ fireworks.”
“Poet’s been on the phone for the last four hours. Pissin’ off nurses and makin’ a nuisance of himself. Got brothers from all over congregating in Eugene. Not sure what Poet’s found out, but according to him, shit’s mostly handled.”
“‘Mostly’ don’t exactly give me the warm fuzzies.”
“Then stay at the clubhouse. You think I’d send ya home if I thought there was a problem?” he asked incredulously. “Get your fuckin’ head on straight, Cameron.”
“Yeah, I hear you,” I mumbled, getting to my feet. “Sorry.”
I made my way over to where Dragon and Trix were resting on a couch.
“Time to go, Sweetbea,” I said gently, reaching under her back and thighs so I could pick her up.
I made eye contact with Dragon briefly to make sure he wasn’t going to try and stop me, but all he did was give me a slight nod.
“Cam?” Trix asked sleepily as she wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her face into my throat.
“Yeah, Bea.” I swallowed hard as her body relaxed against mine for the first time that night. “I’ve got you, baby.”
I took her straight to the clubhouse, nodding to the increased security at the gates as we pulled in. As they locked the rolling barbed wire fence behind us, I relaxed slightly. It felt really fucking good to be in a place where I knew nothing could touch her.
“You get that back gate checked out?” I asked Samson quietly as I carried Trix’s still sleeping form past the bar where he was sitting in the main room of the clubhouse.
“Yup. Put a few boys out there. Found Woody’s shit. Left it alone.”
“Thanks, brother.”
“Yup.”
I kept moving through the room and into the back hallway.
When we reached my room, I didn’t even bother with the lights. I walked straight to the bed and laid Trix down gently, climbing in beside her fully clothed.
I fell asleep still covered in dried blood, wearing nothing but my cut, jeans and boots.
Chapter 16
Trix
I woke with a silent gasp and lay completely still as I took inventory of the room I was in.
Sunlight was pouring through the long, narrow window near the ceiling, and the sound of Cam’s snores filled the room.
We were at the clubhouse. My body relaxed against the scratchy green army blanket we were lying on and I turned my head slowly to look at Cam. His mouth was open slightly, his face completely relaxed beneath a scruffy beard.
There was a smear of blood on his neck and a few more down the arm that was wrapped around my torso.
I swallowed hard at the nausea that threatened, looking toward the water-damaged ceiling.
Oh, God.
Everything from the day before came back to me in a flash, the scenes in my head bombarding me, one after another. I could barely breathe.
I’d gone screaming to my pop, babbling incoherently instead of telling him there were people at the house.
I’d never forgive myself for that.
What if I’d told him instantly that there were men in the front yard? What if I’d warned them?
Shame burned so hot in my belly that my body curled inward.
I gingerly grasped Cam’s arm and moved it off me. I needed to get out of there. I needed to hide. I didn’t want anyone to see me. I couldn’t bear to look at anyone, knowing what I’d done.
I was scooting down the bed so I could crawl away when Cam’s hand shot out, stopping my movements.
“Bea?” he asked roughly, his eyes still closed.
Then they opened widely, and he was frantically jerking me back up the bed.