“You know, I think you’re the first person to ever say ‘is’.” After the words fell out of his mouth, Dragon looked even more uncomfortable.
“What?”
“You said Trix is a twin. And you’re right.” Dragon swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing hard in his neck. He shook his head. “I’m fuckin’ this up. You said Trix is a twin, not Trix was a twin. Big fuckin’ difference—not that most people notice it. She is a twin, she’ll always be a twin—not having her twin with her doesn’t mean she used to be a twin. Just means her twin ain’t with her.”
His words became more agitated the longer he spoke, and by the time he’d rambled to a stop, I was nodding back at him. “Right, man. I get it,” I assured him.
“Anyway, congratulations,” Dragon said with a nod before abruptly turning on his heel and walking away.
“The fuck was that?” I asked Casper in confusion.
“No fuckin’ idea,” Casper said softly, clapping me on the back. “But if I had to guess, I’d say D’s missin’ his boy right about now. His oldest boy.”
My stomach clenched as I glanced at my ma. “You don’t think—”
“Nope,” Farrah said strongly. “No way. They’re fine. They’ll be fine—both of them.”
* * *
I spent the rest of the night in my room, staring at the little photos until my eyes were red and burning.
I couldn’t believe that Trix had two of them in there. I wondered how she’d felt when she found out. Had she been happy? Was she excited? Or had the thought of not one, but two children, completely freaked her out?
Who went with her to the appointment? I hoped she hadn’t gone by herself.
She’d seemed okay when she’d cornered me that night, but fuck if I could read her anymore. She’d turned into someone I didn’t know. Someone I didn’t want to know.
No, that wasn’t true.
I wanted her badly—any way I could get her. If I thought that I could get her back and keep her, I would. But after the shit she’d pulled with Dragon, there was no way I was ever going there again.
He’d overstepped. The little scene they’d played out at their house was so fucked up, it still burned days later.
She’d actually used her pop to kick me to the curb. So fucked up.
The next morning, I crawled out of bed and stashed the pictures in my dresser. I wanted to carry them with me, but with my luck, I’d fucking lose them. I needed to go over to Trix’s old apartment and get the rest of my shit.
I’d been putting it off, but the day before, I’d ripped the ass out of a pair of jeans. I was getting seriously low on pants. It wasn’t like Trix was living there. She’d only been back once as far as I knew, just to get something to wear to the funerals. I’d just get my shit and get out—no one would even know I’d been there.
The apartment had been closed up since we’d started staying at the clubhouse, and when I walked in, the entire place smelled like shit. I pulled my t-shirt up over my nose as I glanced around, my eyes watering. It had to be the garbage. I gagged as I made my way into the kitchen and held my breath as I grabbed the entire can and rushed it toward the front door. It only took me a few minutes to take it to the dumpster, but swear to God, that smell was lingering on my fucking clothes when I was done.
I opened every window as I made my way back through the house, and once the air started moving, I froze.
I knew I needed to get out of there. It wasn’t my place to be anymore, I shouldn’t have even had a key.
I should pack my shit and leave.
My heart thumped hard as I looked around the living room. The blanket Trix used was thrown over the back of the couch, like she’d just been lying down and had tossed it back when she got to her feet. There was a pair of slip on sneakers pushed halfway under the recliner, and a half-full glass of water on the end table.
I shook my head and turned toward the hallway. Fucking life interrupted. That’s what this shit was.
I stopped at the hall closet and opened up the washer and dryer, rocking back on my heels when I found a full load of stinky laundry inside the washer. I looked at the clothes, then up at the laundry soap on the shelf above them. Then back at the clothes.
Fuck it.
I poured a bunch of soap into the washer and turned that shit on hot, startling myself when the water sprayed into the drum. What the fuck was I doing?