Piece of My Heart (Fostering Love 4)

“Sorry,” she mumbled sleepily. “You can do dirty things to me tomorrow.”

“Looking forward to it,” I replied. I rolled onto my belly and propped my head on my folded arms so I could watch her as she drifted off to sleep.

Sarai was right—her breasts hadn’t grown much, but they had become a little firmer, the tiny blue veins more pronounced. Her cheeks were just a fraction rounder, and her back arched just a little more as she walked. Her belly was slightly curved in a way that no one else would notice unless they were obsessed with her naked body the way I was.

I’d noticed other things, too. Changes in mannerisms and food preferences. Frequent midnight trips to the bathroom. The way she fell asleep the minute her head hit the pillow, when before it had always taken her a little while to wind down from the day.

It was kind of amazing, the things I noticed now that I was looking for changes. Now that I knew our baby was growing inside her, I paid more attention than I ever had. I mentally catalogued everything she did, every move she made. I tried to hide the way I watched her, but I had a feeling that she was beginning to notice. She didn’t call me a creeper outright, but more than once she’d closed the bathroom door while she did her makeup, or turned away while she ate her breakfast, to give herself a little privacy.

As Sarai let out a little snore, I smiled and carefully climbed back out of bed to make sure the doors and windows were locked. A lot of things had changed since Sarai and I had gotten married, and even more changes had happened once I knew that we had a baby on the way. It was as if I was seeing everything differently now. For the first time in my life, I paid attention to expiration dates on the food in our fridge. I bought organic. I followed speed limit signs. All of a sudden I remembered to turn the fan on when I was taking a shower, every single time because I was afraid of mold. There were a million different dangers in the world, and it felt as though I had just discovered every single one.

It wasn’t only the little things that I noticed; I was also struggling with the big things. My re-enlistment was looming, and I still didn’t know what decision I was going to make. I hadn’t brought it up with Sarai yet, because I knew that she was already dealing with more stress than she should have to. We would have to have that discussion soon, though. The thought of being away from her for a long period of time put my stomach in knots, but the idea of getting out of the Army and losing my health insurance and income was just as scary. I’d deployed twice already, and I wasn’t exactly looking forward to doing it a third time, but if my life hadn’t changed, I wouldn’t have even considered staying home.

But my life had changed. It was terrifying and exciting in equal measure.

“I woke up and you weren’t there. What are you doing?” Sarai asked in confusion. I’d been standing at the same window for a few minutes, my hand on the sill.

“Just making sure the windows are all locked,” I said softly. She swayed sleepily on her feet but smiled.

“Well, come back to bed. I’m cold.”

She probably was cold, considering that we were both standing there fully naked, and it was the beginning of winter.

“I’ll be right there,” I replied. I still had two windows to check.

She walked away, and I hurried through the apartment, checking the last couple of windows and turning off all the lights on my way to the bedroom. I hit the bathroom, too, so I could take care of business and brush my teeth. By the time I crawled back into bed, Sarai was starfished in the middle, just dozing off.

“Bed hog,” I teased, pulling the blankets back.

“I wanted to make sure I knew when you came in,” she said, grinning as she scooted to the side.

“I’m here,” I said, getting comfortable. I rolled onto my side, stuffed one arm under my pillow, and rested the other across her waist.

“Good. I can’t sleep without you.” She threaded her fingers through mine, and we held hands, our arms wrapped around her belly.

I closed my eyes and smiled. Do you feel us, baby? I thought. You’re not even born yet, but Mommy and Daddy are already hugging you.

Chapter 14

Sarai

I love him,” I reminded myself as I drove to work. I was almost late, again, because Alex had started checking my car out before I left every morning. Today, he’d even lain down on the pavement to look underneath it before he’d let me leave. His worry was driving me crazy.