“I went with you.” I threw up my hands. “I went to help her just like you asked. I didn’t want to, and I didn’t want you to, but we went anyway.”
“And I did want to go,” she said, deflated. “And our baby died because of it.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “No, that’s not what I meant. You said—”
“But it’s what you think. It’s what everyone thinks.” She glanced at me and then looked away. “I put us in danger.”
“Sarai,” I said, taking a step toward her. She didn’t want me to touch her—I knew she didn’t—but it took everything I had not to wrap my arms around her. “I don’t think that.”
“I wanted to run to the rescue,” she said dully. “Because Hailey finally decided to leave him.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I replied. “You had no idea what Sean would do. None of us had any idea.”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she said, taking a step backward. “I have to go to work.”
I watched her as she retreated, pulling on her coat and picking up her laptop bag before she headed toward our front door. As she reached it, she paused.
“I’ll talk to my adviser,” she said, her back to me. “Call a moving company. There’s nothing left for me here.”
* * *
The next two days with Adinah and Isaac were a marathon of keeping my mouth shut and holding myself back whenever they said something to upset her. Sarai seemed to do just fine dealing with them, but I still couldn’t stand the way they tried to bulldoze her. There was no doubt in my mind that her aunt and uncle loved her and were worried about her, but they were so controlling that it overshadowed everything they did.
After speaking with her adviser, Sarai was able to get a leave of absence like we had discussed. It had taken only a doctor’s note and some paperwork, and she was officially no longer required to attend classes. I thought that it would be hard for her, that she would be upset about the change in plans, but I should have realized it would be like anything else—she just didn’t care.
We didn’t tell Adinah and Isaac that she’d decided to take some time off from school, and I made plans for the move when they weren’t with us. It might come back to bite us on the ass later, but we didn’t want to add any more tension to the already strained visit. Plus, I wanted to get Sarai to Oregon before she changed her mind. Instinctively, I knew that staying in Missouri wasn’t an option. Sarai wouldn’t get any better here.
* * *
Three days after her uncle and aunt left, we packed all our personal items in the truck and left our apartment behind. I’d bought a canopy for my truck, and it had been a tight fit, but I’d made it work. Later, if we decided to stay, we’d hire movers to bring Sarai’s car and the rest of our stuff. I wasn’t about to deal with that shit now.
“What did your boss say when you quit?” I asked, glancing at Sarai as I got on the freeway. We’d barely spoken in the last few days, but I was hoping that the close proximity in the truck would force her to acknowledge me.
“She said that she was sorry to see me go and asked me to call a temp agency and find a replacement,” Sarai replied, looking out her window.
“So she was real broken up about it,” I joked.
“We weren’t close,” she said.
“She was a bitch, huh?” I teased. Sarai hadn’t talked about her coworkers much, but I knew she’d liked them.
“No.” She looked at me in disbelief. “She was twenty years older than me. We didn’t have much in common.”
“I bet she was the one who bought you the bowl sweaters, wasn’t she?” I said, still teasing her. “Old ladies are weird.”
“She wasn’t weird,” Sarai said, looking back out the window. “She was nice.”
Neither of us spoke for a minute.
“And I think she made the bowl sweaters—she didn’t buy them,” Sarai said finally.
I laughed. “No way.”
Sarai just shrugged.
The first day of driving was long and exhausting. Sarai didn’t talk much, but I didn’t let it bother me. We still had a couple of days to reconnect.
I’d planned out our trip, so we knew exactly how far we had to go each day. I’d even made reservations so we wouldn’t get stuck trying to find a place to sleep each night. But when we got to our first motel, I grimaced at the outside. It wasn’t exactly the Hilton. There was a taped-off area where the sidewalk had cracked in half. The building needed a fresh coat of paint about ten years ago, and the parking lot had only one light working.