“How about I just ride with you?” I said, wishing I could reach out and slide my hand over her hair, but knowing, as she fidgeted and paced, that it wasn’t the right time for that. “I’ll keep Etta while you ladies go in.”
“Ladies is a stretch,” Miranda said drily as she came out of the bathroom. She was still wearing the shirt she’d had on before, but had pulled on a different hoodie and pair of jeans.
“Is that okay with you?” Morgan asked her as she picked up Etta’s diaper bag. “If Trevor comes along?”
“Fine with me,” Miranda replied with a shrug.
I stepped into the hallway first. Morgan had Etta in her arms and was close behind me. But it took only a few seconds to realize that Miranda hadn’t followed.
We both looked back to see what the holdup was, and my entire body grew tight as I witnessed Miranda’s eyes fill with terror. She froze. Her entire body, from her eyelashes to her fingertips, went completely still as she reached the threshold to her room.
“Ranna?” Morgan called softly.
Miranda’s chest started to heave visibly beneath her baggy sweatshirt, and I took a slight step forward because I wasn’t completely sure that she was going to stay upright.
“Need a second,” Miranda rasped, trying to control her breathing.
“Take as long as you want,” Morgan replied instantly.
We stood there watching Miranda calm herself down until I couldn’t take another second of her clenched teeth and fisted hands.
“Miranda,” I murmured, taking another step forward.
“What?” she said quickly, her embarrassment clear.
“I’m a big guy, yeah?”
“So?”
“You want to come out of there,” I said, nodding to her bedroom. “You can. No one’s going to even look at you while I’m here.”
She glanced down the hallway in both directions, but still didn’t step through the door. Etta chattered to Morgan and wriggled a little to get down, but Miranda still didn’t move. My phone chimed with an incoming text message that I ignored, but still Miranda didn’t even twitch.
Then, without warning, she stepped forward and pulled the door closed behind her. Moving swiftly, she came close to my side, then flinched when I moved to put my arm around her shoulders.
“Don’t,” she blurted. “Don’t touch me, okay?”
“No problem,” I said easily, but inside I was trying not to completely lose it.
Miranda and I followed Morgan downstairs, side by side but carefully not touching. It was sprinkling rain outside, and we hurried to Morgan’s car as Miranda pulled her hood up over her head.
“I’ll sit in the back,” Miranda said, climbing in before I could protest.
I wasn’t sure how I’d fit in the back of that car, but I would have at least offered to. I watched as Morgan buckled Etta into her seat, reaching past her to touch Miranda’s knee before leaning back out of the car.
“Can you drive?” Morgan asked, speaking up for the first time since we’d stood waiting for Miranda to leave her room. “I’ll navigate.”
“Sure.” I walked around the car and met her at the back, but the minute I reached for her she shook her head.
“If you touch me, I’ll lose it,” she said shakily, tossing me her keys. “I’m hanging on by a thread here.”
“You’re doing good,” I replied, holding her gaze.
“I’m trying. Fuck.”
“Sometimes a real curse word goes a long way, huh?” I replied, a little relieved when my comment made her lips twitch, just a fraction.
“Sometimes,” she agreed.
It took us only fifteen minutes to reach the clinic, but Miranda’s appointment lasted two hours. By the time Morgan led her pale-faced sister outside to meet us, Etta was fussing and I was pacing the small patch of grass we’d commandeered as our own. I had no idea what would take so long, but knew it wasn’t anything good.
“Let’s go,” Morgan said, ushering her sister straight to the car.
“Come on, sweet thing,” I said to Etta, picking up our stuff as I hurried after her mother.
Without any direction, I drove us back to Miranda’s dorm building. The two women in the car were completely silent until I put the car in park. Then, when I was about to climb out of the driver’s seat, Miranda finally spoke.
“I’m not going back in there,” she said firmly, staring out her window in the backseat.
I let my hand fall from the keys in the ignition and waited for Morgan to respond.
“Okay,” she said, slowly. “Okay.”
We sat there in silence for a few more minutes. I kept my mouth shut as they contemplated our next move, and barely moved as Morgan’s hand settled on mine.
“I’ll go grab your stuff,” she said, turning toward the backseat. “You have garbage bags?”
“In the bottom of the can,” Miranda replied dully.
“Okay, I’ll be right back.”
My hand tightened on Morgan’s as she tried to pull away.
“I’ll come with you.”
When neither sister argued, I nodded and climbed out of the car. We waited until Miranda had locked the doors behind us, then trudged inside the building. I didn’t know how Morgan felt, but after Miranda’s long-ass doctor appointment, her dorm room seemed almost sinister. I’d known something bad had gone down there, but now that my thoughts had been confirmed, the place made my skin crawl.