“I’ll call Mom later this week,” Trevor conceded. “That’s the best I can do for now.”
“All right.” With a nod good-bye, Mike turned and walked back to the car.
I watched them drive away with a sour feeling in my gut that only intensified when Trevor’s arm wrapped around my shoulder.
“You should let it go,” I said, surprising even myself.
“What?”
“You should let it go,” I repeated. “Just…let it go.”
“No,” he replied. “That’s not how it works.”
“Maybe it should be,” I said, shrugging as he stared at me. “Look, I don’t think we’ll be best friends”—Trevor scoffed—“but that’s your mom. That’s Etta’s grandma. Life’s too short to hold grudges.”
I figured I’d regret the words the moment I said them, but I didn’t. I was on the winning end of this scenario. My place in Trevor’s life wasn’t up for debate, and knowing that made me crazily calm about the whole situation.
“I’ll work on it,” Trevor said. He kissed me and walked into the house.
I didn’t follow right away, thinking that maybe he needed a little time to himself, but half an hour later I was freezing my ass off outside and herded Etta and Koda into the living room. I came to an abrupt halt when I found Trevor sitting in the middle of the floor with boxes and a giant green bag spread out around him. I recognized the bag—not specifically, but generally.
“What are you doing?” I asked, scooping up the puppy before he could go prancing through the stuff with his muddy paws.
“I’m—” Trevor went silent as he looked at the stuff he’d spread out. “You’re right. Life’s too short to hold grudges.”
His eyes met mine and we stared at each other for a long moment.
“Come on, Henrietta,” I sang quietly. “It’s movie time in Uncle Trev’s room.”
After putting the puppy in his kennel, I cuddled up with Etta in Trevor’s bed until she fell asleep halfway through the movie. Thankfully, she was tired and hadn’t needed much of my attention, because my mind was still in the living room with that bag that had Henry’s name on it. Scooping Etta into my arms, I carried her to her portable crib and tucked her in.
Then I made my way back into the living room.
“The kid had a lot of porn,” Trevor said, laughing a little even though his voice was hoarse with tears. “He may have had a problem.”
“Oh yeah?” I replied, stepping gingerly around various flotsam as I ventured farther into the room. “Find anything else?”
“Dirty socks,” he said, gesturing toward a brown pair of socks in the corner. “Some letters he got from my parents, bottle caps, clothes, that kind of stuff.”
“Did you find what you were looking for?” I asked, letting him pull me onto his lap when I got close enough.
He was silent for a long moment as he rested his forehead in the crook of my neck. “I was hoping for a note or something,” he finally said. “There wasn’t one.”
“I’m sorry,” I replied, reaching up to smooth my hand down the back of his head.
“It’s okay,” he said, sighing heavily into my neck. “I knew there wouldn’t be one. The only time Henry thought ahead was the day he put those insurance papers in your name. I’m just going to sort through this shit and then hand it off to my parents without the porn.”
“You don’t want to keep any of it?” I asked, looking at the little badges and pins that should have been on a uniform. There were tons of the little things, like Henry had just kept losing them and buying new ones. Oddly, when his things had been packed up, they’d all been found again.
It was strange to see Henry’s life summed up in a small pile of odds and ends. I thought about the time I’d spent with him, the nights of laughter and drinking, the early mornings when he’d followed me into the shower even though I was running late, his grin and the way he’d thrown his head back when he laughed. My eyes watered. I’d never loved Henry, but he’d been a great friend and he’d given me Etta. I’d always be thankful for that.
“Nah, we can put a few things away for Etta,” Trevor said. “But I got what I wanted when Hen’s will was read and I came to find you.”
“It’s weird how things happen, isn’t it?” I asked softly, leaning back against Trevor’s chest as I looked over the little pieces of Henry’s life spread out on the floor.
“Yeah, it is.” He kissed the side of my neck, then whispered in my ear. “Are you going to stay with me?”
I swallowed hard and nodded once, immediately feeling relieved instead of the panic I’d expected.
“Good. You still love me?”
“I love you,” I confirmed, twisting to look up into Trevor’s eyes. “But I need a shower like you would not believe.”