Shit.
I pulled the plug and stood in the tub, shivering instantly as my wet lower body hit the air. It only took me seconds to grab the towel and wrap it around myself, but I felt every single one of those seconds as Bram stared at my body.
“So you’re going back to work soon?” Bram asked as he followed me into my bedroom. I’d set out all of our clothes so they were ready when we were done with our bath, so all we had to do was dry off and slip them on.
Becoming a mother had taught me the importance of planning ahead.
“Yeah, Monday actually,” I said as Bram laid Arielle on the bed and dried her quickly.
“Arie’s staying with my mom?” he asked, deftly putting on her diaper, then pulling her little undershirt over her head.
“Yep,” I murmured, keeping one eye on what he was doing and the other on getting dressed as quickly as I could in a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt.
“She’ll do good there,” he assured me, buttoning up Arielle’s little footed pajamas. “Mom’s looking forward to it.”
“I know,” I said, stuffing my feet into some socks. “I just hate leaving her all day. I’m going to miss shit.”
“Have you thought about staying home with her?” he asked, snagging a receiving blanket off the end of the bed and wrapping Arielle like a burrito before pulling her to his chest.
“Of course I have,” I scoffed. “But the bills won’t pay themselves.”
Bram nodded as I sat down on the edge of the bed, running my fingers through my hair.
“We need to talk,” he said, glancing down at Arie. “She’s sleeping. Where should I put her?”
I guess bath time was more tiring than I’d realized. I’d have to remember that the next time Arielle refused to go to sleep.
“Crib in her room,” I answered, crossing the hallway to lead him into the nursery. “She sleeps in here during the day, but she refuses to at night.”
Bram huffed out a laugh and set Arie in her crib with a kiss on her forehead before turning to me and gripping my arm to tow me out of the room. He wasn’t mean about it, and it didn’t hurt, but it sure as hell gave off the impression that he meant business.
“We need to talk,” he said again as we reached the living room.
“Eh, I’m good,” I mumbled, taking a couple nonchalant steps away from him when his hand slid off my arm.
“You came to my house at four o’clock this morning.”
“Temporary insanity.”
“Don’t act like that, Ani.”
“I’m acting like myself.”
“Stop.”
“Well that’s not very nice.”
“Quit.”
“I’m feeling a bit tired,” I said with a fake yawn. “Let’s do this tomorrow—or never.”
“Why can’t you be serious for one fucking second?”
“I am being serious. I’d rather have this discussion, never.”
“I am completely in love with you,” he ground out angrily. The words were so incongruent with his tone that part of me wanted to laugh. The rest of me was frozen though, like one of those fainting goats that are all over YouTube, the ones who go completely stiff when they’re startled and then fall right over. That was me. I was a goat.
“I love you too,” I said back softly, “But that doesn’t really change anything.”
“It changes everything.”
“No, it doesn’t. You loved me before. You loved me when you punched Alex in the face when he found out we were sleeping together.”
“It’s different now,” he murmured taking a step forward.
“Bram,” I sighed, wrapping my arms across my chest. “It is different. You’re right. But the difference is that my priorities have completely shifted. Arielle comes first.”
“I know that,” he replied calmly.
“Then I’m not sure what you want from me. I have a family, okay? And as much as I like you, I can’t be with someone that I don’t have a future with.”
“Why the hell wouldn’t you have a future with me?” he asked baldly.
“Because you don’t want kids!” I hissed, losing my patience. God, it was like talking to a brick wall. I was trying to go easy, but he just kept pushing like he had no idea what I was talking about.
“I changed my mind,” he replied softly, making my jaw drop.
It only took a second. One second for my surprise to turn into red-hot fury.
“Oh, you changed your mind?” I said nastily. I could feel my skin growing warm as I flushed with anger. “All of a sudden you want to be someone’s daddy?”
“All of a sudden?” Bram scoffed, wiping his hand over his beard. “Sure, let’s go with that.”
“Too bad,” I said flatly.
“What?” Bram’s eyes opened wide in surprise, and I was secretly glad that I’d rattled his composure a little.
“I said too bad. We’re not here for your amusement, Abraham. You don’t just get to change your mind in a split second and decide that I should be what? Grateful? Jesus.”