Change of Heart (Fostering Love 2)

I cursed as my computer finally started running and nothing was where it was supposed to be. It was going to be a long fucking day.

My phone dinged as I tried to figure out what in God’s name the temp had done to my files, and I smiled as Liz’s name popped up. I opened the text messages to find a picture of a sleeping Arielle, her hands spread wide and a little message written at the bottom.

Nine o’clock nap!

The day wasn’t going to be long. It was going to be long and excruciating.

* * *

“Did you miss me today?” I asked Arielle later that week as I fed her a bottle. “I missed you like crazy.”

I rested my head against the back of the couch and sighed. I was so tired. I’d thought that the first couple of weeks when Arielle woke up every two hours was hard, but it had nothing on waking up with her at night and then still going to work at seven thirty the next morning. Katie was right when she’d said that I needed maternity leave. I wished I was still on it.

“Hey, Ani! Your favorite person in the world is calling. Hey, Ani! Your favorite person in the world is calling.”

“Crap,” I groaned, leaning over to grab my purse on the other end of the couch. “I don’t know when your uncle Alex got my phone but his ringtone is even more obnoxious now.”

“Hey, asshole,” I answered when I finally found my phone in the bottom of my purse.

“Hey, pretty girl. How’s it going?”

“Good, just feeding Arielle. Do you think it’s cool if I just went to bed at seven? Arie goes to sleep at seven so I’m feeling like that would be totally acceptable.”

“Tired, huh?” he asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, working all day is kicking my ass.”

“You’ll get the hang of it.”

“God willing,” I muttered.

“How’s she doing?”

“Great,” I groaned, pulling the bottle out of Arie’s mouth as it went slack. “She’s, like, thriving and shit.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Yes, it’s a good thing. But I’m missing everything!”

“No you’re not,” Alex argued. “Moms have been working full-time for fifty years, and they haven’t been ‘missing everything’ or all their kids would hate them.”

“Was that supposed to make me feel better?” I groused, lifting Arie up to burp her.

“Yes?”

“Well, it didn’t.”

“Lots of moms have to work, Ani. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“I know that,” I snapped, then immediately tempered my voice. “I just wish that I could be independently wealthy or win the lottery or something so I didn’t have to leave her every day.”

“Yeah, I hear you.” He paused. “Hey, have you talked to Bram lately?”

“I see him at the office every day. Why?” I asked, pushing myself up off the couch. Arielle was going straight to bed so I could, too, do not pass go, do not collect a bath or change into pajamas.

“Just wondering when you two will get your shit together,” Alex said lightly, laughing when I growled.

“Why is everyone all up in our shit all the time?” I hissed as I laid Arie down in her bassinet. Thankfully, she didn’t stir as I threaded her arms into and then zipped up the little sleep sack she slept in. “We didn’t work out.”

“If you would get your heads out of your asses, you’d work out!” Alex replied in exasperation. “Jesus, Bram’s got this shit hang-up that dates back to our mother, and you can’t see the forest for the trees. It’s ridiculous and annoying as fuck.”

I dropped down to my mattress and stared at my bedroom door. “Hang-up that dates back to your mother?” I asked softly, making Alex curse.

“You need to ask Bram about that,” he muttered.

“I’m asking you.”

“Well, it’s not my story to tell.”

“I don’t care.”

“Well, I do care. I don’t even remember half the shit he remembers, okay, Ani? He’s got all this shit floating around in his head, and I don’t even know how to talk to him about it because I cannot fucking remember it.” Alex’s voice grew rough, and I heard his teeth snap shut as he finished talking.

“I’m not even sure what to say to that,” I replied, kicking off my shoes and standing up to strip off my jeans. At least the dress code at work was one point in its favor. Jeans and T-shirts were pretty much the uniform.

“I just wish you’d talk to him,” Alex finally said as I climbed into bed in my T-shirt and panties. “I don’t think he’s sleeping, and you sound like shit too. Something’s gotta give.”

“I’m fine—just getting used to having an infant and a full-time job,” I retorted.

“You don’t miss Abraham at all?” Alex asked.

I opened my mouth to agree but couldn’t do it. Even if I thought I could lie to Alex, which I’d never been able to do before without him seeing through me, I couldn’t disregard Bram like that.