Unbreak My Heart (Fostering Love 1)
Page 23
“Anything new happening?”
“She fuh-reaking told you!” I yelled, slamming my hand down against the bedding, making the fresh scent of Tide float up around me. Shane had washed my sheets!
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I’m pregnant,” I retorted with a growl.
“What?” she asked in feigned surprise.
“I’m going to kill Anita.”
“No you’re not. She was worried. Don’t be mad at her.”
“She’s nosy! I should have told you. I wanted to tell you.” I began to sniffle. Nothing was how I’d imagined it. Nothing was going right.
“Oh, baby,” my mom said softly. “I’m sorry. I know that kind of thing is important. I would have waited until you called me, but Ani said you were sick and I was worried…”
“I know, Ma. It’s fine, I’m just—it’s these stupid hormones! I can’t get a handle on it. I swear I want to kill someone, and within seconds I’m crying because one of my toes has chipped nail polish.”
“I remember that. If you’re anything like me, you’re going to be a nightmare to live with.”
“Good thing I live alone then,” I mumbled, wiping my face on my clean sheets. Take that, Shane.
“You want to talk about it?”
“Not especially.”
“Are you going to anyway?”
“Yeah.” I sighed, curling up into a ball and pulling the bedding over my head.
“What’s going on, lovey?”
“I slept with Shane,” I mumbled, sort of hoping she wouldn’t understand me.
“Well…that was a long time coming.”
“What?”
“Katie, you and Shane have been circling around each other for years—ever since you were kids.”
“Mom, he married my best friend. I’m not sure I’d call that circling.”
“Katiebear, I’m going to tell you something, and you can take it however you want.”
“I don’t think I want to hear it.”
“Tough.”
I snorted a laugh, and it was the first time I’d laughed since I’d found out I was pregnant. My mom could always do that—somehow make the bad seem not-so-bad with a few carefully chosen words. I hoped I could do that one day.
“Back when you were kids…Shane was running.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not going to say he didn’t love Rachel. I’d never say that, because it plain isn’t true. I know he loved her—you could see it when they were together. But Katie…they never lived together for any significant period of time.”
“It’s his job, Mom—”
“You don’t have to defend him to me, Katherine Eleanor. I know that boy, and I’ve loved him since he moved in with your uncle and aunt. What I’m saying is that Rachel was easy for him to love, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. She was what he needed, and I was always glad he found that in her.”
“They were perfect together,” I whispered, my throat growing tight.
“Well, I wouldn’t say that.”
“What?”
“Shane needed someone to take him at face value back then, lovey, and Rachel did that…you didn’t.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” My heart began to thump hard in my chest, and my hands grew clammy.
“Well, I guess Aunt Ellie and I always thought that you were too much for him.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“That is absolutely not a bad thing, Kate. You saw him, and for a while I could tell that he reveled in that. He loved that you could see straight through him. It challenged him.”
“He left me, Mom. I’m not sure how you could say he loved anything about me.”
“You got too close, Katie. He wasn’t ready for that.”
“Well, how was I supposed to know that?” I cried, sitting up in bed. “I was nineteen! I didn’t know what I was doing!”
“There’s those hormones.”
“He dropped me, Mom. He never cared about me. You should’ve—” No. She didn’t need to know that Shane had called me for months my freshman year of college, then had acted like he didn’t want anything to do with me the minute he’d seen my best friend. It wasn’t even relevant anymore. “He just…made it very clear that he wanted nothing to do with me. He’s avoided me for ten years. His opinion’s pretty obvious.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you, lovey.”
“You didn’t.”
“Okay, new subject?”
“Yes please.”
“How did Shane take the news?”
“That’s the same freaking subject!”
* * *
I woke up the next morning to whispers and the smell of formula breath fanning across my face.
“Is she awake yet?”
“Not yet! Daddy said to be quiet.”
“Quiet!”
“Whyet!”
“I wish she’d wake up already.”
“Keller, you better zip it.”
“If your daddy wanted to let me sleep, he wouldn’t have left four monsters in my bed,” I growled, sitting up too quickly and pulling them to me as they squealed and my stomach churned.
“Oh, Auntie Kate needs another minute, guys.” I moaned, lying back against my pillow. “Want to snuggle for a little bit?”
They curled up around me, Gunner playing with my loose hair, Gavin’s head resting on my sore boobs, Keller’s body twisting one of my ankles in a way it didn’t want to twist, and Sage holding my hand. Within seconds, I felt a million times better.