Kate.
Don’t “Kate” me. You know I’m not fucking anyone.
Don’t say fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck
…and now I’m hard.
Seriously?
Semi.
*snort* what are you, thirteen?
Your boobs are huge.
This conversation is over.
LOL. They are.
True that.
I miss you.
My hands shook, posed over the keyboard. I wasn’t sure if I should say it back.
We miss you too.
Send me some pics
I post pics all the time! Just scroll through my Fb
You’re not in any of those.
I’m the one taking the photos—so that makes sense.
I want to see you too.
Okay.
No naked pics. I swear to God there’s guys looking over my shoulder every time I sit down.
I wouldn’t have sent you naked ones!
Yeah you would’ve :)
You wish!
You. Have. No. Idea.
He was flirting with me. Flirting. With me. I didn’t know what to do with that. Sure, we’d had our moments, but beyond falling into bed a couple of times, our conversations had stayed strictly platonic.
You there?
I snapped out of my fog at his newest message.
I’m here.
I better let you go—it’s late there. You should be asleep.
I still had at least two more hours of work to do.
Okay. Be careful. Skype soon?
Always.
Skype week after next.
My stomach clenched. I knew not to ask any questions, but so far he’d always been able to Skype once a week. I didn’t want to imagine a reason he wouldn’t be able to.
Good night, Katie.
Night.
I watched the screen, waiting for him to sign off, but after a few seconds another message came through.
So beautiful.
He was gone before I could reply, which was probably a good thing.
* * *
“Keller, get back up at the table with that!” I yelled, almost in tears as I tried to clean Gunner up.
The poor kid was getting molars, which meant he had diarrhea. It had freaked me out the first time it happened, but after a frantic call to the on-call nurse, I was pretty calm about it. Apparently some kids had that reaction to new teeth, and lucky me, one of my kiddos did. Never say that Gunner did anything in half measures.
“Kell! Table! Now!” I grew increasingly frazzled as Gavin dropped his grape Popsicle down the front of his green shirt.
“Auntie Kate, I can’t find the diapers,” Sage told me frantically, running from the stairs.
“They’re on the changing table, the same place as always,” I replied, blowing my hair out of my face.
“I think they’re all gone.”
“Shit,” I moaned as I remembered that I was supposed to go to the store that day.
“Shit,” Gunner mimicked.
I ignored his words as my laptop rang on the kitchen table.
“Daddy!” Keller yelled, coming to an abrupt stop by the kitchen table.
“Keller, if you touch that laptop with Popsicle fingers I’m going to ground you off the Wii for the week!” I screeched, lifting a bare-assed Gunner off the floor and onto my hip as I climbed to my feet.
We hadn’t talked to Shane in almost three weeks, and I’d finally gotten an email from him the night before telling me he’d be able to call us. Unfortunately, he was calling on one of the hardest days I’d had since he left.
“Can I answer it?” Sage asked, her finger posed over the keyboard.
“Go ahead, Sage.” I sighed, walking toward where the big kids were gathered around the computer screen.
“Hey, guys,” Shane called out cheerfully.
“Hi, Daddy!”
“I got every word right on my spelling test,” Sage called over Keller’s greeting.
“I got a scratch,” Gavin yelled and held up his arm with the scabbed-over two-inch scratch. “I got a Band-Aid!”
“Awesome job, princess. And that looks like a gnarly scratch, Gav. How’d you do that?” Shane replied, fielding their comments like a pro.
“I got four shots,” Keller announced, not to be outdone.
“Good job, bud. Now you can go to kindergarten next year.
“Hey, Katie,” Shane added with a smile as I finally scooted into the group so Gunner could see his dad. “Hi, Gunner.”
Gunner smiled and turned his face into my neck. He’d been increasingly shy with everyone, Shane included.
“Hey—”
“Gunner’s peeing!” Keller yelled, laughing hysterically as I felt a warm, wet spot spread over the side of my belly.
“Crap,” I mumbled, my eyes closing in frustration.
“Why isn’t he wearing a diaper?” Shane asked through his own laughter.
“Auntie Kate forgot to buy some, and we’re all out,” Sage answered helpfully as my eyes filled with tears.
Gunner was half naked, Gavin looked like a ragamuffin with his shirt covered in purple slime, Keller was acting more ornery than usual, and Sage had just tattled on me. On top of all that, I looked like crap and felt even worse.
“Sage,” Shane called, watching the screen intently, “did you check the diaper bag?”
“No!” She scrambled through the boys and ran toward the front door where we kept it.
“Have you been giving your auntie a hard time today?” he asked the boys after Sage ran off.
“No!”
“I been good!”
“She looks like she’s not having a very good day,” Shane informed them, causing them to turn their heads toward me.