She stands in the middle of my legs. “So when are we going to finally meet up?”
“I have no idea. My travel schedule is crazy for the next couple of months.”
“Surely you have one night available,” she says and Denise screams out, “You came.”
I look over as Shannon turns around and leans on one leg, so I put my hands on her hips to not make her push my leg. I see Allison and my heart stops. She’s so fucking beautiful the whole room dims to her. And here I am after ignoring her all day with a girl draped all over me. She doesn’t make eye contact with me as I watch her, waiting for her to look at me. Waiting to see if there is something there, and that I’m not just imagining this whole thing.
Denise comes over with her, she introduces her to Shannon, and I see the flicker in her eye as she remembers the name. I try talking to her, but she goes with Denise and for the next couple of hours people keep coming in and she’s passed around like she’s a fucking piñata at a birthday party. I finally ply Shannon from me as she goes to talk to a couple of friends from the hospital. I spot Denise in the corner talking to a guy that I saw when I went for breakfast.
“Hey, where is Allison?” I ask her and look around.
“She took off,” she says and then turns back to talk to the guy.
“What do you mean she took off?” I think it came out harsher than I thought it would.
“She said she has an early morning so she left.”
I walk out of the bar, looking left and right for her and come up empty-handed.
Just then, Shannon comes running out. “Oh my God, I thought I missed you.”
I don’t have time for this, but I also don’t have the energy for her. “Listen, Shannon, it’s not going to happen,” I tell her, grabbing her shoulder. “I’m”—I shake my head—“I’m just not there.”
“It’s Allison, right?” she asks and I close my mouth and open it again, waiting for the words to come out, denying that it has to do with her and everything to do with me, but nothing comes out, so she continues, “You couldn’t take your eyes off her the whole time.”
“We work together,” I finally say.
“It’s more than that. I don’t even think you realize it.” And she turns and walks back in as I stand here, telling myself to give her the night and then go to her tomorrow, but my heart knows that she can’t go to bed thinking I left with her. If nothing else, I need her to know that.
So here I am jogging up her steps. Her house sits in darkness. I ring the doorbell once and wait, putting my hands on the door, looking in, and nothing. I ring one more time and this time I see something. A light turns on from the side and I see her shadow coming closer. She opens the door and my heart stops. Her hair is up on her head. I don’t even know what she’s wearing because wrapped around her is an ivory cover as she holds it from the inside of her cocoon.
“Jesus, Max,” she says and I see her eyes are a bit red. “You scared the shit out of me.” She looks down and then back up again.
“I need to talk to you.” My hands go into my pockets before I grab her and pull her to me. “Shannon, she…” I stumble when she looks up and I see it, the death in her eye. Everything that I’ve worked for is gone, because she looks at me like I’m nothing. “I didn’t know she was going to be there.” I know I’m saying this for nothing because she has already scratched me off her list, already decided I wasn’t worth the fight, but I’m going to give it all to her and then I’m going to leave. “I wanted to answer you a million times today, but I didn’t have the balls to do it. I tried staying away from you and not getting my hopes high. Fuck, your family hates my guts, and here I am jonesing for you.”
She looks at me with a face of shock.
“Anyway, but I didn’t want you to think I was leaving with her.” I shake my head, now thinking what a mistake this was. “That’s all I have to say.” And I turn, jog down the stairs, and drive away, the whole time looking at her in the mirror as she stands there looking at me.
The rest of the night is spent lying on my couch, flicking through infomercials. The sun comes up as Stanley sits on my chest, and I pet her. I drift off I think at noon and only wake when I hear banging at my door. I get up and walk over, opening it to see Denise.