I wanted to curse him for thinking I was weak. I wanted to push his bulk away and prove I didn’t need his support.
But this time? This time, I had no energy left to waste on lies.
I knew how I felt, and if I looked half as bad on the outside as I did on the inside, well, I must look like death nuked in a microwave.
Blood trickled from my nose and not from an injury but overuse, overtiredness, and a body slowly shutting down from lack of care.
I blinked and squinted into the darkness, doing my best to distinguish glimpses of black security from Mercer’s team and black Chinmoku from the enemy’s side.
Only the red gloves helped differentiate the two.
Climbing the steps to enter Mercer’s home, ready to find the Frenchman and rally our killing unit one more time, I slammed to a stop as Daishin appeared.
From the library.
With Pimlico’s hair wrapped around his fist.
A smug smile on his lips and victory in his heart.
Fuck.
I slammed to a stop. Every method of slaughter and principal of carnage vanished from my mind. Selix froze. The battle was over.
All that mattered was Pim.
And Daishin had her.
A cut marred her pretty cheek. Blood puddled around the collar of her hoodie. And the metal thimble with a wicked sharp fingernail that Daishin favoured as his killing method nicked her jugular.
He believed killing with a simple slice was far more elegant than wielding something larger and cumbersome. He’d been affectionately known as the Wasp while I trained under his strict command.
His sting was just as poisonous and cruel.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Pim.
She stood deathly still, one twitch from death, one scratch from murder.
Apologies and promises danced on my tongue. My wounds faded under a greater, deeper agony.
The agony of having my heart suffocated by the one person who knew how to hurt me the most.
Pimlico was family.
And Daishin was well versed in taking family away from me.
I sighed heavily, almost relieved to have it over.
I wouldn’t have to fight anymore.
I wouldn’t have to hurt.
Looking into the eyes of the woman I loved more than anything, I gave up.
I did what I should’ve done all those years ago.
I put my fate in the hands of honour.
I kneeled before my greatest enemy.
Chapter Twenty-Two
______________________________
Pimlico
THERE’D BEEN A few times—probably more than normal—when I’d wished I wasn’t a girl.
I’d wished I was a boy the night Mr. Kewet asked me to dance and strangled me.
I’d wished I was a boy the evening I was auctioned and men laughed in my face when I offered to buy myself.
I’d wished I was a boy every day of my life that I belonged to that bastard who I would never name again.
But that wish had ended with Elder.
I’d finally come to enjoy being a girl—a woman. Every time Elder looked at me, every hour his feelings evolved from wariness to interest to love, I was beyond grateful I’d been born a girl.
I was happy to be who I was and stopped wishing to be something I wasn’t.
Especially now.
Especially the moment the guards miscalculated our visitors and didn’t follow instructions. Especially now that I’d witnessed the fall of men and rise of women.
The guard beside us by the window fired too late and with no aim. With my ears ringing, I watched in horror as a rain of bullets left his gun empty, us vulnerable, and only two out of three Chinmoku shot.
Two plummeted back to the grass.
But one…he kept climbing.
Tess and I raised our knives, ready to slice at the climber’s hands as he reached the window sill but the guard pushed us away, thinking he knew better, believing he was doing us a favour by taking on the Chinmoku on his own.
The only help he accepted was his colleague who gave up his post by the entrance and came to his side with a fully loaded gun. He switched off the safety and angled himself to shoot. They were so focused on picking off the remaining climber, they forgot about the door.
We all had.
We’d all been stupid.
We missed the tell-tale scratching of someone picking the lock. We were deaf to the sound of the door swinging open and two more death deliverers walking into our safety chamber.
Until it was too late.
The moment violence found us, the guards leapt to attention.
The one with remaining bullets had good aim and shot true, killing one interloper right on the threshold. The other guard who’d wasted his ammunition and had nothing but bare hands and useless coordination couldn’t prevent mayhem as the other Chinmoku ran directly toward us and grabbed a hostage from the Mercer staff.
Using a maid as a shield, he was unkillable.
Seeing his hands on her. Hearing her screams.
It’d done something to me.
Something not quite human.
I forgot that the guards were the first line of defence. I forgot men versus female and who normally won in a fight with brawn.