But now, as I stared at the woman I loved more than anything, fuck, it hurt.
It hurt to think we had so much to give and no one to give it to.
It killed me to think others were out there who needed saving, just like her.
I was suddenly hungry, greedy, downright starving for the chance to do something beyond myself. Yes, it was selfish too, but my reasons were born from the desire to rescue those who’d been forgotten.
I couldn’t shake the idea, no matter how preposterous it was.
But is it preposterous?
Mercer had mentioned they were ambassadors and benefactors for multiple charities. They were in the business of saving lives.
I hadn’t saved Pim out of the goodness of my heart. I’d saved her because something about her affected me right down to my core. I’d recognised her for being a part of me even as a stranger. I’d felt the shift inside, knowing I’d met my other half—even before I understood.
I was selfish because I’d only saved Pim.
I hadn’t had a drive to save another as I no longer had any room in my heart to love someone as much as I loved her.
But now…now my heart had swollen, grown, morphed into an empty cavern ready to love again.
Ready to love a child.
The fact Pim hadn’t spoken to me about the possibility made me think she wasn’t ready. That she still held onto the hope she would one day be able to conceive.
And I hoped that, too.
I would keep hoping that one day she’d become pregnant with our baby. But I wouldn’t pin my happiness on something that might never happen.
There were other ways.
Just as happy ways.
My heart grew impossibly bigger, larger, wiser sitting in this perfect domestic moment.
We had everything we could ever need. Therefore, we could offer someone who needed saving everything they could ever need.
Three questions popped into my head.
Three loud, obnoxious, unable-to-be-denied-any-longer questions that needed answers immediately.
Shit.
My hands shook with urgency. My body jumpy with need.
I hadn’t had an over focus episode since needing to clean Mercer’s place after the Chinmoku, but in that moment, all I could focus on was those three questions.
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
Answers needed.
Now.
Rolling up the blueprint, I weighed it down with an empty beer glass and stood. Standing over Pim, casting her in my shadow, I held out my hand for her to take. “Come to bed with me.”
Her eyebrow rose as she threw Spot’s rubber chicken that we’d picked up at some local market in Viti Levu and placed her hand in mine. “I love it when you’re bossy.”
I smirked, pulling her upright. “You’ll love me even more with the mood I’m in then.”
“Mood? What mood?” Her gaze danced over my face as I strode toward our suite. “Everything okay?”
My hand shook harder. How could I ask what I needed and what sort of answers would I receive?
I knew Pim better than I knew myself most days. I knew she loved her coffee not too hot, she loved the smell of coconuts but didn’t like the milk, she was a morning lark rather than a night owl, and she watched me while I slept because her eyes touched me just as potently as the rest of her.
But I didn’t fucking know the answers to my questions.
I have to know.
“Everything’s fine. I just…have a few things to ask you.”
She paused as we crossed the threshold. “What things?”
I yanked her inside. “Things you’re about to find out.”
Epilogue
______________________________
Pimlico
BEING IN BED with Elder Prest was like going to war.
He was my saviour and enemy all in one. My comrade and opponent with his wicked tongue, talented fingers, and dirty mouth.
I hadn’t stopped thinking about that time at Tess and Q’s where he’d drifted away from a complex cocktail of pain and pleasure.
Tess had called it subspace, and I wanted to try it. I was ready to experiment and embrace anything to do with playing together.
But tonight wasn’t about fun or light-hearted connection. A heaviness existed in his every touch—a fatefulness that made my skin prickle and tummy clench.
He was delicious every moment I spent with him, but when he was this intense? He was mesmerising.
As he stripped me bare and laid me down, I didn’t know if this would be all-out war with three merciless battles or more of a hostile takeover with three well-placed attacks.
I wasn’t prepared as he climbed on top of me and filled me completely with a determination that sent my heart racing. The glint in his gaze and seriousness on his brow worried me. His ruthless thrusts and vicious kisses concerned me.
But even worried and concerned, I couldn’t stop my body from reacting to his touch—inside, outside, his kisses and penetration.
My only choice was to dig my nails into his shoulders as he brought me with him, up and up, building my body for a toe-curling orgasm.