My temper snuffed out as quickly as it had built.
“Last night meant a lot to me, too. But that’s beside the point.” My fingers slid away, resting on her collarbone. “Please don’t make it any harder than it already is.”
We stared in silence for a long pause, accepting that this was over.
“I’m sorry, Elder.” She sighed heavily, swiping at the tears on her cheeks. “I became selfish. I guess, I hoped…” She looked up with sudden determination. “You have no idea what you did for me last night. You brought me here, you showed me romance, and connection, and togetherness. You took me out to dinner and showed me what love could be like. I need you to know how grateful I am, and even if we never get to do that again, at least I know what I’m searching for when I go home.” She gave me a sad smile. “I have a comparison of what I want and will never settle.”
My heart bruised then set fire to itself at the thought of her with another man. A nice man. A man who would marry her and dote on her and kiss her good night for the rest of their lives.
It hurt.
It fucking killed.
It was exactly what had to happen.
I backed away.
Coming toward me, she took my hand and pressed it against her face. Kissing my palm, she nodded as if she’d finally accepted my terms. “Thank you, Elder. For everything.”
Pulling away, her gaze softened. “There’s only been one man I’ve loved, and he was taken away from me when I was far too young. I loved my father. And even though we haven’t had much time together, I want you to know, I love you, too. Maybe not the traditional kind of love or in-love between a couple who found their way through fewer messed-up beginnings but a love that is forever fundamental. I love you for rescuing me. I love you for helping me. I love you for showing me the true meaning of lust when I was so afraid.”
Her shoulder kissed mine as she moved naked and regal toward the bathroom door. “I won’t make the rest of our time together any harder on you. I’ll go get dressed.”
I couldn’t move.
Literally couldn’t fucking move.
My heart had stopped beating. It had to have. It was replaced by some supernova catastrophic starburst.
She’d used the word love.
She’d said she loved me. Not in love with me. Not family obligation love. Not friendship love. A love that I’d earned. A love that could never be bought or broken.
Love.
The one element I’d been denied.
The one emotion that’d crippled me beyond measure because it’d been taken away, and I never expected to get it back. To find someone other than my family to give it to me? To have her grant me such a selfless, wonderful gift?
It made my knees buckle.
Did I deserve such a thing?
Had I shown her what love could be like?
Hell no.
I’d done a shitty job.
I’d been cold and ruthless and only worried for myself. I hadn’t let myself fall. I didn’t show her a fraction of what it could be like between us. And now, I never would because she would command me to take her home the moment she heard about her mother.
She’d take me up on my offer for her freedom, and I’d be left on my yacht alone, empty, and cursing the very ground she walked upon for ruining what was left of me.
I moved.
My legs, my body, my heart.
“Pim, wait.”
She spun around, her dress from last night in her hands and shock upon her face.
I barrelled into her, gathered her up, and stormed toward the bed.
She let out a gust of surprise as I placed her gently on the mattress, climbed on top, and kissed her.
In that moment, I wasn’t battling my own needs but giving her everything she deserved.
I kissed her sweetly, delicately, adoringly.
Her mouth parted, her tongue touched mine, and her moan echoed in my heart far louder than in my ears.
My hips pressed into her belly, fully revealing just how much I wanted her. Not just once or twice or a thousand times. But forever—if a man like me could ever hope for such a thing.
Breaking the kiss, I held her face in my hands, locking my elbows on the bed. “I never want you to doubt how wonderful you are again. You’re everything and more. You’re more than I can bear. You have the power to hurt me worse than I can stand. Don’t you see that? You’re blind if you don’t.”
I kissed her again, claiming her protests and questions with a deep sweep of my tongue.
I dropped my fingers from her cheeks to her breast, sucking in a grunt at the full heat of her flesh, relishing in the healthy glow replacing the yellow and green bruises from before.