I wanted her.
So fucking much.
My heritage spoke of contradictory things. There were arranged marriages in my family and then there was true love. My great-grandparents had been an arranged marriage. But my mother and father…that had been kismet and the ideal on which my childhood fantasies about love were based.
They were born for each other.
No question.
Which was why I was cursed for what I did.
Pimlico wriggled in my grip. My dulled senses couldn’t prevent the exquisite sensation of her warm skin interspersing with cool liquid on my body.
I groaned. Loudly.
I was so bloody thankful I’d smoked before she’d found me. There was no way I could’ve tolerated holding her this close without losing my goddamn mind.
Even with the thick fog of calm, I still struggled to keep the addiction at bay. To avoid admitting that I’d wanted this girl since I met her and that desire wasn’t fading…it was only amplifying.
The one kiss and touch I’d permitted myself were no longer enough.
Not at all.
She licked her lips, questions drowning her that I wanted her to ask so I could ask my own.
“Is this another first for you, Pim?” I whispered, reminding her of the intimacy between us when I’d kissed her that night. How I’d touched her and painted erotic images in both our minds about delivering pleasure she’d never had.
“The first time a man has held you without sticking his cock inside you the moment he could?”
The sexually violent question made her muscles lock. She flinched, digging her fingers into my shoulders.
I should let her go. I shouldn’t ask such things.
I couldn’t help myself. “You never answered me what other firsts you’ve been denied. I think it’s time we deleted a few.” My eyes locked onto her lips. “I brought you here for a reason. Perhaps that reason was to fuck you out of my system.”
Her breathing caught.
My cock hardened at the shock on her face, followed by a contorted mix of disgust, loathing, and fear.
I’d never had a woman look at me with such a recipe of hate.
Shit, it turned me on.
My leg tightened around hers, forcing my aching dick to press against her hollow stomach.
She gasped, turning rigid in my arms.
“Don’t worry. I won’t break another promise tonight.” I traced my fingertip over her forearm. “I’ve already broken a few by touching you. Best to keep the rest for another time.”
Her foot kicked, doing its best to dislodge me.
“Doesn’t mean I won’t take other things from you, though.”
I knew the right thing to do would be to let her go. She’d requested in her silent way to end this.
And I would, just not quite yet.
Cupping her nape, I brought her forehead to nudge against mine. Nuzzling her with my nose, I let go of my self-control, allowing the intense intoxication I always lived with to escape. “Do you know what I’d do if your tongue was healed?”
I didn’t know if it was her, the pot, or the night swim, but I was free for the first time in a very long time.
Her nostrils flared as if expecting me to request her voice again.
However, that wasn’t the reason I wished her tongue was cured. Not right now.
Sandwiching her breasts against my chest, I breathed, “I wish it was healed so I could kiss you.”
Her gasp was audible this time, sending my heart bucking.
So she does have vocal cords.
She could speak. How had stubbornness and silence kept her alive for so long?
She stared harder, fear, mistrust, hatred, even annoyance crossed her face. Her gaze darted to my lips as I deliberated kissing her despite her denial.
Some of her annoyance faded, replaced with feathery breathing, brushing her nipples against my chest.
I swallowed my groan as the same hint of vacancy overrode her mistrust. Shutters clamped down over her soul, protecting herself the same way she did with Alrik, while at the same time, sacrificing herself to whatever I wanted.
It doesn’t work that way.
Not with me.
My free arm cut angrily through the water. “You think you can compartmentalize your feelings? That you can give me your body but not your mind?”
She bit her lip, her dark hair swirling in the tide. I didn’t like the judgmental way she watched me, already condemning me to hell.
Bringing her face closer, I whispered harshly, “When I kiss you again, you’ll want me to kiss you. You won’t look as if I’m taking something from you. You’ll beg me to give you something you desperately want.” Dragging my lips over her salty-cheekbone, I ordered my body to behave even as our legs bumped and my cock jerked to sink inside her—if only to prove a point.
To show her sex felt fucking awesome.
Even if she hadn’t experienced such ecstasy yet.
She’s not ready.
As much as I wanted to rush ahead and take her, I refused to damage her psyche when her thoughts were more valuable to me than her body.