One More Chance

According to her, she still loved me.

But someone who really loved someone else didn’t keep such important news to themselves. So, if love wasn’t the issue, then trust was. And that bothered me more than anything else. I knew that woman inside and out. Even after all these years, I was confident I still knew her.

How in the world could she not have trusted me with something like this?

Ana

I stepped out of my car and saw Tyler gazing out over the city. The lights of the Hollywood sign lit up his features, igniting the world around him while his silhouette stood out amid the light. I held my breath for a second and took him in, took in the peace that seemed to have fallen over his body. His hands were clasped behind his back. His hair was neatly parted. His suit was tailored to his body.

He looked phenomenal.

But he didn’t look approachable.

He turned his head toward me and smiled, but his eyes held something much different. There wasn’t happiness in his features, but weariness. Like he hadn’t slept at all the past few days. It broke my heart. I had done this to him. I had to done this to my son. I had done this to our family. My goal to be the best mother possible had devolved into being the worst one imaginable.

And I didn’t know how to fix it.

“Thank you for meeting me, Ana.”

“Of course, Tyler.”

“Come. Stand by me.”

I walked over to his side, my hands shaking with nerves. The wind bellowed out my dress as my flip-flops clicked along the dirt foundation of our spot. Memories assaulted me from all directions: losing my virginity to him, hearing him say he loved me after all these years, orgasm after orgasm.

All those phantom feelings rushed over me, and the back of my neck warmed as he turned his gaze to the profile of my face.

“What is Brody like?” he asked.

I looked over at him and furrowed my brow.

“You brought me all the way out here to ask me that question?” I asked.

“Is he a good kid?”

I’d had no idea what to expect from this meeting, but it hadn’t been this. Part of me had wondered if I had fucked everything up. If I had made it impossible for us to be the family I knew we could be. But his question gave me pause. If he wanted to know about his son, did that mean he would be in our lives? In Brody’s life?

Did this mean we could be a family?

“He’s the greatest kid, Tyler. You’d really like him,” I said.

“How does he do in school?” he asked.

“He aces all his classes, always—like you did in high school. He’s wickedly smart. His teachers are thinking about pushing him up a grade just to challenge him a bit.”

“What’s his favorite subject?”

“All of them,” I said, giggling.

A small smile spread across Tyler’s cheeks, but it faded away as quickly as it had come. There was an immense sadness in his eyes. It was the same sadness I had seen in Brody’s stare the night before.

Holy hell, I was the worst.

“Does he play any sports?”

“Football and soccer of course.”

“Really?” Tyler asked.

“Really. And he loves them both. My dad wants him to learn baseball, but he’s got his two sports already. Football in the fall and soccer in the summer.”

“He’s got long legs. I bet he’s a good runner.”

“Faster than I’ve ever seen. He might even be faster than you.”

“Oh, I’d like to test that,” he said.

“I hope you do.”

His eyes fell to mine before he turned back to the Hollywood sign. Like he would rather stare out there than at me.

“Does he like to read or anything?” Tyler asked.

“Oh, yeah. He’s got my love of books. He’s the only kid I know who isn’t complaining yet about summer reading.”

“Does he have a favorite book?”

“Not that I know of so far, but he does enjoy humorous books. Silly ones that make him laugh.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Tyler?”

“Mmhm?”

“Are you going to look at me while we talk?” I asked.

He clenched his jaw before he swallowed deeply.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“Why not?”

“Honestly?”

“Please.”

“It makes me angry to look at you.”

My heart shattered into a million pieces at my feet.

“I had no right to yell at you the way I did, but I don’t take back what I said. You took a very important decision away from me, and because of it I’ve missed out on eight solid years of my son’s life.”

“I’m sorry, Tyler. I swear to you, I thought I was doing it in everyone’s best interest.”

“It’s fine if you think that, but you weren’t,” he said.

He turned his eyes to me, and I held my breath.

“You were doing it in the best interest of yourself. You were upset at something I had said, and in the midst of our fight you decided that raising a child on your own was better than raising a child with a guy who might have just broken up with you.”