I wanted to find us a routine we could enjoy, a place he and I could call our own so that whenever we went out to lunch, we went to that same spot. I’d had one of those places with my dad growing up, and I wanted one with my own son.
“Well, he’s run off to his room to get changed,” Ana said.
“Then I’ll come by and pick him up,” I said.
“Just—”
“Yes?” I asked.
Ana sighed lightly into the phone before she cleared her throat. “Just have fun. Okay?”
“We will. I promise,” I said.
I hung up the phone with Ana and finished up the paperwork I had in front of me. I wanted to have more than just an hour to spend with my son on my lunch break. I filed everything away before I shut down my computer, then slid my cell phone into my pocket and left my briefcase behind. I wanted him to know he had my full attention, and I knew that briefcase might set him on edge. It always had for me with my father while growing up. Every time the briefcase came out, I knew he was about to turn his attention to work.
Brody wouldn’t ever see it when it was just the two of us. Not if I could help it.
I drove to Ana’s, and the closer I got, the more nervous I became. They were standing outside on the porch, and Ana had something that looked like a seat in her hand. I parked my car and stepped out, my eyes falling directly on my son.
Holy hell, he looked just like me when I was a kid.
“I just have to put this in your car,” Ana said, holding up the seat.
Brody held on to her hand tightly as she set the seat in back.
“Brody, you remember Tyler?” Ana asked.
“Hey there, big guy. You hungry?” I asked.
Brody furrowed his brow before he looked up at his mother, and I wondered what was going on. Ana gave me a wary look before she crouched in front of him. She cupped his cheeks and pulled him in for a hug, and dread pooled in my stomach.
Maybe Brody wasn’t ready for this.
“I don’t know what to call him,” I heard him whisper.
“You call him whatever you’re comfortable with calling him. Okay?” Ana whispered back.
He peeked out over his mother’s shoulder and released her. She turned and watched him as he approached me. He stopped in front of me and held out his hand. I crouched down and smiled, taking his hand to shake it like we had the first time we’d met.
“I’m Brody,” he said.
“I’m Tyler.”
“Are you hungry?”
“I am. Are you? Because we don’t have to eat if you don’t want to. We can drive around or go to the park, or sit on the couch here and talk.”
“Can we get ice cream?”
I smiled as he finally dropped my hand.
“We can get whatever you want,” I said.
“Ice cream and spaghetti.”
I heard Ana giggle as my smile grew wider.
“Then I know the perfect place. Come on. Let’s get you in your seat.”
After opening my car door, I watched him buckle himself in. I looked into Ana’s eyes and saw the anxiety in her features, her nervous tears and the way her hands shook against her mouth. Her brow was furrowed and her shoulders slumped.
She always had worn her emotions on her sleeve.
“We’ll be back in an hour or two. Okay?” I asked.
Her eyes whipped to me before she blinked rapidly and cleared her throat.
“Yep. Yeah. That’s—that’s fine. I’ll be here,” she said.
Then, my son and I were off.
He was shy in the beginning. The farther away we got from his home, the quieter he became. I watched him in my rearview mirror as he took in the streets we passed by. I pulled into an Italian restaurant my mother used to love before things had really started going downhill.
I didn’t want to think about my mother right now, though. I wanted all my focus to be on my son.
“Ready to go in?” I asked.
But Brody was hesitant to unbuckle his seat belt. I held out my hand for him to take once he inched his way out of my car, but he looked at it warily. I didn’t want to pressure him into anything, but I wanted to keep him close. The lunch hour was always busy at this place, and I didn’t want him getting lost.
I got us a table at the back of the restaurant, away from the hustle and bustle of the rushing crowd. That seemed to settle him down a bit.
“It’s okay. I’m not a big fan of crowds, either,” I said.
“You’re not?” Brody asked.
“Nope. I much prefer smaller groups of people. Or my office.”
“Does anyone come into your office?”
“Sometimes. But they have to schedule a meeting first, so I always know when they’re coming in and why.”