One More Chance

“What is it, Ana? Is something wrong with Brody?”

“No. Um, no. He’s fine,” I said.

“Then why are you calling? I’m about to go into a meeting.”

His curtness made me upset. So he didn’t give a damn if I was calling him unless it had something to do with Brody? What if something was wrong with me, the mother of his child? The woman he had proclaimed to love? Had he been lying? Did he not love me at all?

I was beginning to think that was the case.

“Ana, I don’t have a lot of time.”

“It wasn’t important. Talk to you later,” I said. Then I hung up the phone and held back my tears.

Fuck him. If this was how things were going to be, then this was how things were going to be. So long as he was in Brody’s life, I guessed that was all I could ask for. He could hurt me as much as he wanted, but he sure as hell couldn’t hurt his son.

The second he did, I’d see him in court.

“Ana? You okay?”

“Yep. Coming out. Sorry,” I said.

But Kristi came barging in before I could open the door.

“Where’s Brody?” I asked.

“Jasmine came in. Brody’s talking her ear off about the baseball game.”

“Nice to know he has a new favorite parent.”

“Don’t play that game. You know that’s not true.”

“Well, I can’t help but feel that way. He never talks about me that way, about anything we do that way,” I said.

“He does to me.”

“Oh yeah? And when was that?”

“You can’t compare yourself to Tyler. It’s a different parenting tactic and a different ball game altogether.”

“Really? Puns? Are you serious right now?”

“I figured I’d get at least one in. Look, I don’t know what the hell’s going on with you, but you need to cut it out. You can’t control what Tyler does or how he feels, but you can control yourself. I know you’re going through a rough time, but eventually Brody’s going to sense what is going on between you and Tyler. And the second he does, he’s going to want his mother to comfort him.”

“Or his new best friend.”

“The bond between a father and a son is different than the bond between a mother and a son. And some would argue that the bond you have with Brody is always going to be stronger. You carried him. You’re the one raising him. Yes, he’s having a good time with Tyler. Don’t you want him to?”

“I do.”

“Don’t you want him to enjoy time with his father, which he hasn’t gotten to have until now?”

“I do.”

“That doesn’t mean your son doesn’t love you, Ana. It means he’s enjoying his time with his dad. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It isn’t personal. As this relationship between Brody and Tyler grows, he’s going to want to talk with you about it. So emotionally brace yourself for that, because if you make him feel guilty for having a relationship with his father, he’s going to resent you for it.”

“I called Tyler to talk to him about how his mother is doing and he didn’t even want to talk with me. I mean, he couldn’t possibly have been more dismissive of the fact that I was calling. I’m the mother of his child. I’m the one who’s done this alone for eight years. Doesn’t that mean anything to him?” I asked.

“A decision you made willingly. You have to put this behind you, Ana.”

“And what about him, Kristi? Who’s telling him to put all this behind him? Everyone wants to tell me to be strong and buck up and be the adult, but what about him? I was calling to ask about his mother because I care about him because I love him despite all of this. Who’s telling him to give a shit about the woman who bore his son, huh?”

“Maybe everyone. Maybe no one. That doesn’t excuse your behavior, though.”

“Does it excuse my feelings? Am I supposed to stuff those down, too, and act like nothing’s wrong?” I asked.

“No. That’s why you have me.”

“Well talking with you hasn’t gotten me anywhere lately.”

“Hey, don’t get mad at me because you don’t like the consequences of your actions. I’ve always got your back. And if that man ever comes at you publicly, I’ll have your back then, too. But in private? You’ve got the truth or nothing at all from me.”

“Then I would appreciate nothing at all right now.”

“You can be upset, just like he can be upset. And you can be hurt, just like he can be hurt. So, I’ll leave you with this: Suck it up and don’t stop trying to get him back. If he is what you want, then work for him the way he worked for you. But if this is all it takes for you to give up on the man you claim to love, then you need to check yourself. Because you don’t love him at all if it’s this easy for you to leave.”