“I’d love nothing more,” she said.
“When can we meet him?” my father asked.
“Let me go make a call and I’ll figure it out,” I said.
I slipped out of the hospital room and pulled out my cell phone. Now I had to convince Ana to bring Brody over so he could meet them. I had no idea how this phone call was going to go down, but as my own words rattled around in my mind, guilt settled in my gut.
Ana really was a good woman, and we were both to blame for the situation we were in. It wasn’t right for me to harbor this anger toward her any longer. Maybe if she brought Brody, she would stay and we could talk.
Then again, now wasn’t the time to discuss all that. With my mother’s failing liver and Brody meeting her and my dad for the first time, there would be enough going on.
Fuck. How the hell had this all gotten so complicated?
“Tyler?”
“Hey there, Ana. I’m sorry I’m so late returning your call.”
“Like I said, it wasn’t important,” she said.
“When you call, it’s important, no matter what. You are the mother of my child. You come first.”
Silence fell over the phone before Ana cleared her throat.
“Okay then. Um, well, what’s up?” she asked.
“I’m at the hospital with my mother and father, and I was wondering if you could bring Brody by to meet them.”
“To the hospital?”
“I know it’s short notice, like the baseball game, but, Ana, honestly, I don’t know how much time my mother has left.”
“What? Have they not found her a donor yet?”
“My father and I aren’t matches, and she’s not the greatest candidate, so no. It’s a waiting game at this point, and with her serious history of not wanting to get better, she’s not far up on the list.”
“I’m so sorry, Tyler. What can I do?”
“I really want Brody to meet his grandmother before she passes, if this is her time. I just—” Tears crested my eyes and closed my throat. “I just really want that for her,” I said.
“Of course. I’ll bring him over right now.”
“You will?”
“Yeah. I think he should know his other grandparents. I’ll admit, if your mother wasn’t sober, I’d have a different opinion on it. But with the circumstances being what they are, I think it’ll be okay. You’ll be with him, right? So he’s not frightened by the whole hospital scene?”
“Of course. I won’t let him out of my sight,” I said. “And, Ana, if it’s any consolation, I wouldn’t have introduced our son to my mother in her former state, either.”
“That actually matters. Thank you for that. It—well, never mind. It doesn’t matter now.”
“So, I’ll see you two soon?”
“I’ll bring him up and then you can just bring him back whenever you’re done. I’ll leave you his booster seat.”
“Oh, that’s not necessary. I went out and bought one for my car. You know, so we don’t have to keep switching it around.”
“Oh. Okay. Great. Thank you.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for this?” I asked.
“I’m sure. I’ll get Brody ready and see you soon.”
“Yeah. See you soon.”
I paced the hallway of my mother’s hospital floor until the doors burst open. Brody came running for me, and I picked him up, then held him close to my body. I’d never get used to the feel of him, to the way his arms wrapped around my neck.
“Hey, Daddy,” he said.
“Hey there, Son. I’ve got some people I want you to meet,” I said.
“Mom says I have more grandparents.”
“You do. They’re my parents, and they’re very anxious to meet you.”
“Is that my grandson I hear?” my father asked.
“I think that’s my cue,” Ana said.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” I asked.
Brody clung to me as my father approached. Ana watched the interaction for a second, and I secretly willed her to stay. I wanted her to be here for this moment, for Brody’s initial meeting with his other set of grandparents. But a sadness washed over her features before she nodded her head.
“I’m sure. This is a time for you and Brody to share. Just call me when you’re headed back. I’ve got some errands to run,” she said.
“Okay. I’ll call you then.”
“Thanks.”
It was the hardest thing to let her walk away like she did. I wanted to go after her, to tell her to stay, that I needed her strength and her resolve. But after the way I had treated her and considering how rocky things were emotionally, it was selfish of me to ask that of her. She looked back one last time before the doors closed, sealing her off from the hallway all of us had gathered in.
It wasn’t the right time for us to talk. But that didn’t mean it was easy not to go after her.