When they next came up for air, they were both naked, sweaty, and sated. Charity was curled up against his chest, her fingers tracing lazy circles through his silky chest hairs. Everything about him was so damned perfect.
“So now what?” she wondered out loud.
“Hmm? I don’t know…a shower maybe? I must be getting ripe.”
“I love the way you smell,” she said on a yawn. “Warm and musky and delicious. You smell like home to me. But that’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean then?”
“What happens next? With us? I can’t leave, Miles. I have the practice opening on Monday. My life is here.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to leave,” he placated. “No, this is partly what all the restructuring at the company was about. Initially, it was for the reasons I gave, I needed to take things easier, needed my life to be about more than work. But after you contacted me last month, I started hoping that we could somehow find our way back to each other. The company represents my life’s work, Charity. I will continue to chair. And consult. I will probably need to go back to London a few times a year for meetings, but I can do a lot from here with just a laptop and Wi-Fi—barring storms and blackouts of course. In fact, I may have to invest in a satellite phone and a stronger generator. Minor details. The gist of what I’m saying is that…I’m happy to move here, on a semi-permanent basis.”
“Miles, you’d be uprooting your whole life.”
He tenderly grasped her chin between his thumb and index finger and tipped her head back until she could see his eyes.
“Charity, you are my life. And since you’re here, that means my life is here.”
“Oh, Miles.” Her eyes flooded, and she rewarded the beautiful sentiment with a kiss. She was somber when she lifted her lips from his. “Miles, I’m doing well. I’m a lot better and making great strides in dealing with my past. But I’m a work in progress. I’ll need therapy for a long time to come. Maybe permanently…and there’ll be times a sudden move or an argument will trigger my fight or flight response. I want you to understand that I know you will never hurt me. I know you’re an amazing, gentle man and on the—hopefully rare—occasions when that does happen, I don’t want you to be hurt or think it’s about you. It’s always about me.”
His arms tightened protectively around her, and he kissed the top of her head sweetly.
“I won’t pretend that I’m okay with that, sweetheart. It’ll hurt. Even though I know where it’s coming from. But I’d be happy to attend any couple’s therapy sessions you think we may need to help us deal with those moments.”
“You would?”
“Of course.”
“I don’t want you to think you should walk on eggshells around me. I enjoy a good argument or disagreement as much as the next person. I can’t control where or when it happens. But I do know it won’t happen all the time. And hopefully with time, patience, and therapy, we’ll move past it.”
“Well, since we’re confessing secrets. Here’s one about me you don’t know. And I don’t want you to look at me any differently…because I know how much of a freak you’ll think I am because of it.”
Charity’s eyes widened, and she levered herself onto her elbow to watch him curiously.
“I’m fucking deathly afraid of heights.”
“No.” To say she was shocked would be understating it.
“Yeah…your jumping off cliffs and out of planes stories? Terrifying. Why do you think this house is built on one level? When the views would be so much more panoramic from a second floor?”
“But the basement stairs…”
“Oddly, knowing the stairs are below ground, so to speak, makes it less horrifying. I mean, I can stare into a deep, cavernous hole. But I can’t handle that exact same distance down, from the top of a building. And flying is fine too. If I’m not sitting close to the window, I can fool my brain into thinking I’m on a bus or something. Weird, right?”
“To be honest, I thought you were weird long before this. I mean, the lobsters, the odd ‘wannabe but can’t’ vegetarian thing, and the only song you know is I’m Too Sexy, for God’s sake!”
“Absolutely not true,” he protested vehemently. “I know plenty of other songs. I just can’t ever seem to hum them.”
“See? Weird!”
“God, how the hell did I survive so many months without you?” he wondered, abruptly serious.
“We’re together now. And this is all that matters. Well this and…”
She allowed her voice to taper off, and she didn’t have to wait long for the impatient prod. “And what?”
“Well, I need to know what happened with Willow and Delonix.”
He shook with silent laughter. “How the hell should I know? I couldn’t finish the damned book without you, could I?”