“What about you?” I wanted to give him pleasure, to make him groan.
His body tensed up as he said, “I had you. That’s all I need, baby.”
“But I want to.”
“No.”
It was a sharp tone and I got that he wasn’t allowing it and that bothered me—a lot. Because Ream surrounded me. He was part of me, and if I ever let go again, I’d fall and never find my way back up.
I woke to a ringing phone and it wasn’t mine. That and I’d yet to see mine since we arrived. I was beginning to wonder if he’d ditched it in the lake.
I was in bed, snuggled into his side, my arm lying across his waist and my head nested on his chest. His one arm was behind me, locking me up against him while his hand rested on top of mine, our fingers linked.
I don’t know why but there was something about interlocking fingers that was incredibly intimate. It was like chain link fused together, unable to be separated by anything. That was how it felt—fused together.
Ream’s phone kept ringing and I heard him groan. His hand left mine and I thought he was going to answer it, but instead he cupped my chin, leaned close, and kissed me. It was a gentle, lazy kiss that left me wanting more. But I didn’t get more as he reached over to the nightstand for his phone.
Without even looking at who was calling he said, “Better be fuckin’ good.”
He listened for a minute, stiffened, then swung his legs over the side of the bed. “Are you for fuckin’ real? No, you don’t get to know that,” he shouted. He paused for a second and his grip on the phone tightened. “I’d never cheat on her. Who the hell—” He stopped abruptly then threw the phone across the room and it smashed against the wall.
I crawled up behind him, placing my arms around his waist then lowering my head and kissing the side of his neck along the ink. I kept going when he didn’t make me stop like he usually did. I kissed farther down, loving the taste of his salty skin on the tip of my tongue. I caressed his inked shoulders then ran my hands down his arms while pressing my breasts against him.
The tension slowly eased out of his muscles as I explored his body from behind, taking my time. This was the first time he let me do this and I wanted to take care of him like he did me. These couple of nights, they were more than just Ream getting me back. It was me finding a part of myself that I’d lost. He’d seen that. He recognized that I was hiding from myself as much as I was from him and everyone else. I’d always thought I was stronger facing this disease without anyone knowing. But I was stronger with Ream. I’d be stronger still when I told Emily. Strength came from believing in yourself, not hiding from yourself.
Ream looped his arm around my neck and dragged me onto his lap where he proceeded to kiss me. It was the kind of kiss that made me proud to be his, to want him to take care of me. Not because I was weak or couldn’t do it myself, but because he cared about me.
“You’re not going to ask me?”
Yeah, I wanted to know who was on the phone. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from asking, but I trusted him. He needed that from me. “No.”
He nodded and stayed silent as I sat with my legs straddling him, his hand weaving through the strands of my hair. It was comforting and sweet and even though we had so much intensity between us, this moment was just the opposite and I reveled in being able to share it with him.
“When I’m with you, it feels like I’ve been given a second chance at living. I never thought I’d get that.” He lowered his head for a brief second, his fingers splayed over my back stroking with the slightest touch. “I can breathe easily with you. When we were apart …” His finger slid over my lower lip back and forth. “You ever feel like your body is silently screaming? Like you’re constantly missing something, but you can’t figure out what?” Yeah, all the time, but I’d never admit that to anyone. “For almost three fuckin’ years, I felt like that. I didn’t know at first, but then when I figured out it was you I was missing all the time, Jesus, the screaming, it stopped, Kat. And it became tranquil and beautiful.
“You think I brought you here for you? I’m not that nice of a guy, Kat. I brought you here for me. So I could glue you back to me.” He leaned forward and kissed me then whispered against my lips, “It’s permanent glue, baby.”
Holy shit. I didn’t know what to say. My heart pounded so fast with my lips parted, my breath was hesitant and uncontrolled.
“I’ll do anything to keep you. You have to get that, Kat. Your MS I can’t stop or control, but I’ll fuckin’ try. I may not deserve you, Christ, I know I don’t deserve you, but I’m taking you anyway and when we go back, I’m making sure everyone knows it.”
Wow.
He cupped my chin and made me look at him. “We won’t ever be done.”
“You know that sounds crazy, Ream. Relationships don’t work that way.”
“They do with me.” He kissed the tip of my nose.
I was silent. What he was saying was what I knew already. Somewhere I knew that whatever happened with his sister made him this way. He warned me. I did know what I was getting into with Ream, but I also knew that he’d never physically hurt me. He’d protect me with everything he had and I did want that. I wanted every part of Ream.
“Kat.” His tone was rough and tweaked with a hint of frustrated warning.