I knew she was frightened of something but I didn’t know what.
And she wasn’t about to share it with me.
Now, I’d frightened her off. Because yesterday wasn’t just sex. We’d both felt something. Something strong. Something potent.
Something real.
I rang her this morning but she didn’t answer. But a little while later, she sent me a message.
I’ll see you at the clubhouse this afternoon x
Something was wrong.
And it was fucking crazy, because I was the goddamn president of the biggest MC in the south. I saw and did shit that’d made most men sick to their fucking guts. Hell, I did things most men would turn away from.
Yet, apparently, giving a woman my heart was the most terrifying thing in the world to me. It made me paranoid. It made me fucking vulnerable.
And because it was all so new to me, I had no fucking idea how to navigate the feelings I had when I thought about her.
About the possibility she was pulling away.
Instead of being the calm, calculated president who usually executed every decision with confidence and stoic self-assurance, I felt like a fucking teenager who couldn’t control himself.
Leaving the cannabis fields, Ruger and I split up so he could check on Chastity. While Caleb stayed behind.
I rode into the late afternoon sun alone, my heart pounding, my stomach tight.
The first thing I heard when I entered the clubhouse was Taylor laughing.
The first thing I saw, was her with Randy, laughing like she didn’t have a fucking care in the world.
An unfamiliar sensation spread through me like a heatwave, gouging a path through my chest and hitting me like a punch to the heart.
Jealousy.
I wasn’t a jealous kind of guy. Jealousy made you weak and, in my world, weak got you dead.
But seeing Taylor laughing so happily with Randy made me more jealous than I’d ever been in my damn life. Because she was pulling away from me, and I didn’t know what to do to stop it.
I caught her gaze and her smile faded. She stepped away from Randy, because this woman could read me like a book. With one look she knew there was a bunch of crazy going on inside me. Randy, on the other hand, didn’t notice and simply gave me a nod before disappearing into the kitchen.
My eyes met hers.
“I need to see you in my office,” I said stiffly.
I thought she was going to fight me, but she didn’t. Instead, she dropped in step behind as we walked down the hallway. Once inside my office, she closed the door behind her while I used all my strength not to lose my shit.
“Do you want to fuck him?” I asked like an insane man.
A stupid, jealous, insane man.
Her eyes rounded. “Excuse me?”
“Is that why you don’t want me anymore? Is that why you’re pulling away?”
Taylor straightened and her eyes flared with fire. “Because I’m laughing with Randy, now I want to fuck him?” She stalked toward me, her eyes blazing. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
“Then why have you pulled away? Why does it feel like I’m…?”
She shoved her hands onto her hips. “Like what?”
“Like I’m fucking losing you,” I growled desperately.
“All of this over one night apart? Because I was tired. Why are you being so crazy?”
“Because I’m in love with you, dammit!” I growled.
The L-bomb exploded between us, and she took a step back. My words hung in the air, thick and heavy. My pulse raged in my ears, my chest rising and crashing with anticipation as I waited for her reaction. Of course, I hadn’t meant to say that part out loud, but now here we were.
“You love me?”
“No, I love my family and my friends. But I’m fucking in love with you.”
I couldn’t wait a moment longer to touch her. I grabbed her by her hands and pulled her to me, leaning down to plant a hot kiss on her beautiful mouth.
God, I was so in love with her it was driving me insane.
Frustrated at my inability to control all the crazy emotions racing through me, I let her go and stepped back, pushing a hand through my hair. I was in unfamiliar territory and I was fucking up.
“I know I sound like I’m crazy. Fuck, I know I’m acting crazy. But the night of the wedding…back at my place…did I imagine it?” I cupped her face and searched her eyes for a sign, needing to know that I hadn’t imagined it. “Have I fucked up? Have I gone too fast? Is that why you’re pulling away?”
Her eyes softened, and I could see the strain on her face as she pressed her cheek into my palm. She closed her eyes for a moment, as if she was absorbing my touch to her memory.
“No, you haven’t fucked up,” she said softly. “And you didn’t imagine anything because I feel it too…”