Before I respond, I grab her wrist and pull her inside the house. I can’t risk any of O’Leary’s guys seeing us or my reaction.
“Where’d he take you?” I ask as soon as I shut the door.
“What?” She puts space between us. “We aren’t talking about my date.” Maddie bends and takes off her shoes before dropping them to the floor. Her height drops a good four inches.
“Why not?” I cross my arms, challenging her. “Too embarrassed?”
She narrows her eyes, shaking her head. “Piss off.” Maddie goes to her room, and I follow her inside.
“Did he make a move? Your hair is messier than before, and your dress looks a little wrinkled,” I say without thinking, and as soon as the words come out, Maddie spins around and slaps me across the face.
“How fucking dare you!”
My jaw twitches at the burn on my cheek. It was warranted, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t fucking hurt. Maddie put all her strength and aggravation into it, too.
“Let me say it again—for the people in the back—You. Are. Married.” She repeats her words from earlier. “I’m not your toy, so you don’t get to treat me like one. You need to let me move on, Liam.”
“Maddie, I swear…” I suck in a long breath, willing myself to maintain the little control I have left. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“What isn’t?” she asks.
“Victoria,” I state slowly. “Our marriage.”
“Really?” The heavy sarcasm isn’t lost on me. “How convenient.” Rolling her eyes, she turns away and digs through her dresser drawer.
“It’s actually really fucking inconvenient, but I can’t tell you the whole story. You just have to trust me. Our marriage was…arranged.” The moment the words escape my lips, I curse myself for revealing part of my secret. I want to explain everything, but I can’t put her in more danger.
“Arranged?” she questions, then laughs as she pulls out some yoga shorts and a tank top. “Okay, Hulk. Go away now so I can change.”
I step farther into her room. “I’m being serious. I wish I could say more, but…”
“But what?” she pushes, her hard stare threatening to snap my patience.
“But I can’t,” I admit, defeated. “If I could, I would, but not telling you is the safest option right now.”
“Mmhmm, okay.” She nods, not believing a word, though I can’t blame her after all the shit I’ve put her through. I think her instinct is telling her not to trust me anymore, but I’m determined to change that. “Well, I think you’re just jealous and worried my world no longer revolves around you.”
“Maddie, please,” I scoff. “Like you said earlier, I could’ve had you at any time, so—”
“Exactly!” She throws her clothes on the bed. “I’m sick and tired of this cat and mouse game. It’s hilarious that the second another man shows up interested, you say your marriage is a hack and that you’re not jealous, but you’re just protecting me. Okay, Liam…sure.” Her exaggerated tone makes it obvious she’s not buying any of this, which just frustrates me further.
“I’m being honest, Maddie. My marriage is legal, but there are no real feelings between Victoria and me. And I am fucking jealous.”
“You can’t keep me at arm’s length, then want me all to yourself when it’s convenient for you, Liam. That’s not fair.” Her face softens, and I walk toward her, leaving mere inches between us.
I bring my hand to her face and stroke my thumb over her cheek. “I’m jealous you dressed up for him and not me. I’m jealous he took you on a date and I had to sit here, wondering if you were having a good time and if he was treating you right. I’m jealous I can’t be the one for you, and though you deserve to go out and meet people, I hate it.”
My heart pounds rapidly as my chest tightens. I don’t know how to properly explain why I had to do what I did because it’s so goddamn ridiculous.
Maddie stares up at me; her breaths are uneven as she soaks up every word I say. I don’t consider myself a vulnerable person, but I’m ready to fall to my knees and beg her to believe me.
She swallows and moves her gaze to my lips before meeting my eyes again.
“Imagine watching the one person you were willing to give everything to flaunt their one-night stands and bang everyone else without care for years—everyone except for you. Imagine how that feels and then tell me how you have any right to say you were jealous—as if I’m supposed to feel bad for you. Well, I don’t.”
Every word Maddie says shatters my heart because she’s right. My arm drops, and a frown paints across her lips when I don’t respond. She looks at me, every bit the temptation, and I wish I could spill my secrets. For all these years, I’ve held back, drowning myself in meaningless hookups, and denied my attraction. I’ve wanted Maddie for as long as I can remember but haven’t allowed myself to act on it, other than a few stolen kisses. It’s been fucking torture. Now my bad habits and past have caught up with me, and it’s confirmation that I’m not the man for her.