Nothing Left to Lose (Guarded Hearts 1)

“Have you been listening to my therapy tapes?” I snapped angrily, pushing myself out of his arms.

He laughed and caught my hands, pulling me closer to him again. “No, Anna. You’re actually pretty easy to figure out most of the time,” he replied, squeezing my hands gently. My body relaxed, and I rolled my eyes at his comment. “Now shut up and dance with me before the bar closes.” He pulled me closer to him again and I laughed, smiling because somehow, he always seemed to make me feel better.

Chapter Sixteen

The sun beams down on me as I absentmindedly flip through the pages of a magazine. The strong scent of jasmine drifts up from the bushes that I’d not long planted, a few feet away from the swing chair I’m slouched on. I am just about to take a sip of my coffee when a slam of a door and a girlish giggle come from the house. A smile breaks out on my face as I look up, seeing a beautiful, little girl running towards me. I notice how tall she seems and how the smile on her face melts my heart. Her long, black hair is still damp and flows out behind her as she runs to me.

“Momma!”

I put my cup down just in time for her to jump onto my lap, laughing excitedly. “Hey! Did you have a good time? Did you jump in on your own?” I ask, excited to hear about it.

She nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, I jumped in loads of times, and I splashed Daddy right in the face,” she chirps, laughing wickedly.

I grin. “You did? Good girl! Where is Daddy anyway?”

She shrugs, twirling a lock of my hair around her finger. “He’s putting our swimming stuff in the laundry room.”

“Hey, Baby Girl.” I look up and my heart speeds at the sight of him walking across the garden to me. He is so handsome that my mouth waters.

As he gets to me, he bends and plants a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth before using the pad of his thumb to brush a smudge of dirt from my cheek.

“Hi,” I breathe. It’s almost a sigh of contentment because my whole world is now around me.

“Missed you,” he whispers, before stealing my coffee cup from the side and downing the contents as he plops himself into the seat next to me and casually slings his arm around my shoulder.

I jerked awake, gasping, but for once, smiling as I roused from my dream. Ashton sat up quickly from his makeshift bed on the floor. “You okay? Nightmare?” Concern coloured his sleepy voice.

I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times, grateful that he hadn’t turned on the light because my face was sure to be beet red. I had no idea what to say. I’ve just had my first nice dream in three years… And it involved me having his child? Something is seriously wrong with me!

Horrified, I lay back down. “No, not a nightmare. It’s fine.” A quick check of the clock told me it was almost ten in the morning. We’d not gotten back to the apartment until after one this morning, so I was still tired.

He didn’t leave it though. Instead, he moved, climbing onto the bed and resting his arm across my stomach. “It wasn’t a nightmare? What’s up then?”

My embarrassment grew because the object of my desire in my dream was now too close to me as he looked down at me through the semi-darkness. “I was just dreaming. It wasn’t a bad one. Actually, it was the first nice dream I’ve had since… since…” I frowned, not wanting to say his name again.

“You had a nice dream? That’s great! What was it about?” He sounded ridiculously happy about it.

I winced, squirming under his scrutiny. You, wasn’t exactly something I could answer. “Um…” I chewed on my lip, and he flopped down next to me, lying on his side and shoving his arm under the pillow as his other arm tightened around me, pulling me closer to his warm body. “I, er, had a little daughter. She was beautiful. It was just nice.”

A dazzling smile crossed his lips as I spoke. “You did? Did she look just like you? If she did, then she’d have to be the most beautiful, little girl in the world.”

My heart seemed to clench in my chest at his adorable words. The answer was no though, she hadn’t looked like me, she’d looked like him! “She kinda did,” I answered. The little girl did, in fact, have brown eyes like mine. Needing to make an escape from this awkward conversation before he probed further, I pushed myself up out of bed. “I’m going to make some breakfast. I’m thinking bacon and eggs. Sound good?” I didn’t even wait for an answer before I practically ran from the bedroom, needing a few minutes away from him and the knowledge that I’d had a seriously inappropriate dream about him.

A little while after we’d eaten, I decided that I’d like to kill some time in the gym. According to the pamphlet about ASU that I’d read, there was a well-stocked gym on campus, so I was eager to check it out. As we pulled up outside and climbed out, another car pulled up next to us.

I groaned and threw my hands up in exasperation. “I can go on my own, you know!” I snapped, glaring first at Ashton, and then at my two far guards that had obviously followed us here.

Peter shrugged. “I actually just came to use the gym, I’m off duty. Please direct your glare at these two,” he joked, waving a hand at Ashton and Dean.

I had to smile at that as I rolled my eyes and stalked into the building, not waiting for them. “You guys think I’m some pathetic wuss that can’t defend herself. I could kick all of your asses,” I muttered, shaking my head. I had no idea why I even needed a far guard; Ashton was surely more than enough to stop people from grabbing my butt or pushing me over into a puddle, which was all that would ever likely happen to me.