Nothing Left to Lose (Guarded Hearts 1)

“Sure,” she agreed. “And don’t worry about scratching it or anything, it’s in Ashton’s name,” she joked, winking at him.

I scoffed and shook my head quickly. “You’d better freaking worry about scratching it!” I warned.

He actually giggled like a little girl as he practically ran for the front door. “I’ll be careful,” he promised, slamming the door behind him.

I groaned. “I love that car,” I whined, making Anna laugh.

She chuckled and stood up, scraping the last bits of her food into the trashcan before turning back to me. “So what shall we do for our last couple of hours?”

Deciding to make the most of our last few hours of freedom, I strode over to her and grabbed her waist, lifting her easily and throwing her over my shoulder. She squealed and giggled as I carried her into the lounge and plopped her onto the sofa. “Cuddling, making out and getting naked sounds good,” I answered, settling myself down at her side.

She giggled and poked me in the ribs, which just started a tickle war that she most certainly lost before she begged me to stop, claiming she was about to pee herself. Happier than I had been in a long time, I settled down on the sofa next to her, just breathing her in as we talked about nothing in particular. In the back of my mind, I knew that I had to be the luckiest guy in the world because Annabelle Spencer was in my arms.

When the sound of the front door opening cut through the happy cloud I seemed to be floating on, my heart took off in a sprint. Reacting instinctively, I jumped up and wrenched my gun from my ankle holster, pointing at the door ready to shoot if it was Carter or one of his men.

Instead though, Nate gasped and his hands flew up innocently. “Whoa shit! It’s me. Damn it, Ashton, calm down!” he shouted, shaking his head in disbelief.

I recoiled quickly, immediately clicking on the safety on my gun. “Shit, sorry, I wasn’t expecting you back so soon,” I admitted sheepishly.

“Soon? Dude, I’ve been gone an hour,” he grumbled, frowning at me as if I’d lost my mind.

“Oh, I didn’t realise,” I admitted, running a hand through my hair. I hadn’t realised we’d been cuddling and talking for that long. My eyes flicked down to Anna; she was sitting up, seemingly frozen in place, her eyes wide, and her mouth agape. I knelt down next to the sofa and shook my head. “I’m sorry, Baby Girl. Are you okay?”

She nodded, finally closing her mouth. She pushed herself up to her feet, not looking at me. “I’m gonna go take a shower.”

As she walked off, my gaze dropped to her hands, noticing that they were shaking. I frowned, hating myself because I’d frightened her. Following her up the hallway, I slapped Nate on the shoulder apologetically. My hand closed over hers as she got to the bathroom. “Are you really okay? I’m so sorry that I scared you. It was a shock, I wasn’t expecting anyone, I just reacted,” I explained.

She nodded. Her face was pale, and her eyes were a little vacant. “It’s fine.”

I traced my hands up her arms, gripping her shoulders. “If it’s fine, then why are you shaking all over?”

A tear escaped down her face. “I… I just thought, when you jumped up like that, I thought for a second he was there and he’d come back for me,” she whispered. Her lip trembled as she spoke.

I groaned, looking up the hallway to see that Nate was watching us curiously. I couldn’t have this conversation in front of him. Reaching behind her, I pushed the bathroom door open and guided her in there, closing the door tightly behind me. “He won’t hurt you again, I promise. You don’t need to be scared anymore. I won’t ever let him hurt you,” I vowed, kissing the top of her head as I pulled her in for a hug. She nodded and clung to me tightly. “I’m so sorry I upset you, this is my fault.”

She shook her head quickly. “It’s not your fault, it’s mine. I’m such a stupid idiot.” She pulled away from me and swiped at her face roughly, wiping the telltale tears away.

“You’re not an idiot, Baby Girl. You’re perfect.” I hated the way she thought of herself so badly. She always seemed to turn everything bad around and make it her own fault. It was no wonder she didn’t cope particularly well sometimes; she shouldered too much guilt and blame.

She sniffed and looked over at the shower. I took that as my cue to leave and dipped my head, kissing her cheek before walking to the door. “I’ll just be outside,” I muttered.

“Wait!” she called just as my hand closed around the door handle. “I don’t want to be on my own. Will you stay with me?” she begged. “Please? Just sit on the toilet or something.”

She wanted me to stay in here while she was in the shower? “Er, yeah, sure okay,” I replied, nodding. I made my way over and sat on the toilet, watching as she brushed her teeth before turning on the shower. I groaned internally because I was about to be in the same room with her, naked. As my shirt that she wore fluttered to the floor, I closed my eyes so that I wouldn’t see.

“You’re really going to sit on the toilet with your eyes closed?” she chuckled weakly.

“Mmm hmm,” I mumbled, not trusting my voice to speak. The sound of the water changed, so I knew she was under the spray. I put my head in my hands and tried to think of something else other than the water caressing her flawless body. This felt like torture.

“Ashton?”

“Yeah?”