Nothing Left to Lose (Guarded Hearts 1)

I laughed, grinning down at her. “Come on, let’s eat. I got you chicken chow mein,” I offered, pushing myself off her.

She smiled excitedly and followed me out to the kitchen, wrapping her arms around me from behind as I served up the food. “Next time I buy you something that you have to travel for, I’m coming with you, okay?” she mumbled into my back, slipping her hand up my T-shirt and teasing the small patch of hair beneath my navel.

I smiled at her words. “That’s absolutely fine with me, Baby Girl.”

She sighed contentedly. She was pressed so tightly against me that I could feel her heart beating against my back. I turned and wrapped my arms around her waist, dipping my head and kissing her forehead. Everything fell back into place. The piece of me that had been missing over the weekend had now returned, making me whole again.

Chapter Forty

~ Anna ~

The call for our flight cut through my fuzzy, almost asleep brain. I raised my head off Ashton’s shoulder and looked up at the TV screen that now showed our flight was finally ready to board. We’d been camped out in the airport for the last three hours because it was delayed. My head pounded because I’d just dozed off for ten minutes before the screechy speakers had announced we were ready to board.

Ashton smiled over at me sadly with those beautiful eyes that I would give anything to pass onto my children. “Won’t be long now and then we’ll be at the Lake House, and you can go to bed,” he encouraged, as he stood and held down a hand to help me from my seat.

I hadn’t slept very well again last night. This time it wasn’t due to Ashton not being there though, it was merely because of what day it was tomorrow. Jack’s birthday. That was where we were off to now, the Lake House. I was going to pay my respects and visit his grave on his birthday. Of course, not everyone had wanted me to go there. My father was being sworn into office the day after Jack’s birthday, so I was expected to attend the ceremony. Plans had been made, without my agreement, for me and Ashton to fly into Washington tomorrow so that we could both attend a dinner party the night before my father was inaugurated. No one understood when I refused and said that I had to go and see Jack first. Everyone – even Jack’s parents – had assured me that Jack wouldn’t mind if I didn’t go this year and that I could go the day after, or just think about him without being at his grave. The only one that seemed to listen to me was Ashton. When I’d gone to him, crying, telling him how much it meant to me that I visit Jack, he’d arranged everything, talked my father into it, and even called Maddy to rearrange our flights. He’d been a superstar campaigning for me and what I wanted. As usual, I owed him a lot.

Even though it was going to mean a lot of travelling, Ashton and I were heading to the Lake House tonight so that I could go and see Jack for his birthday for a few hours, and then tomorrow night we were flying into Washington so that we could attend the ceremony the following day. After the ceremony we would jet back to Arizona again to carry on with life as usual – except this time I would officially be the First Daughter.

As Ashton and I made our way onto the plane, I pressed myself tightly to his side and wove my fingers through his. All week I’d been clingy and extra cuddly. I knew I was doing it, but I just couldn’t help myself. Luckily for me though, he’d not complained and asked me for more space or told me I was stifling him. In fact, I think he’d quite liked me hanging on him and cuddling up to him all the time.

By the time we arrived at the Lake House, it was after ten in the evening. My parents were already in Washington, preparing to move into the White House. Therefore, the Lake House looked a little bare and lifeless. The only people here were the caretaking staff.

Silently, I led Ashton up to my bedroom and curled in my bed without even taking my clothes off. I was exhausted, not so much physically, but mentally. It was hard being back here. It was hard knowing that tomorrow I would have to go and wish happy birthday to a boy that I had gotten killed. It was even harder knowing that I had promised to love him forever, when I was now hopelessly in love with someone else.

Behind me, Ashton climbed into the bed, wrapping his body around mine. As usual, his touch made me feel better and took some of the edge off the sadness that was creeping over me and slowly pulling me under. It was almost as if Ashton had some kind of magic spell over me that could calm my nerves.

“Goodnight, Baby Girl,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head.

“Night,” I replied, trying not to feel guilty for loving him so much.

When I woke in the morning it was early, in fact, it wasn’t even six o’clock. Ashton’s low snore was still rumbling behind me, so I crept out of the bed, unable to lie still now that I was awake. My body was twitching with unease and anxiety, and I knew there was only one way to calm myself down. After pulling on a pair of leggings and a T-shirt, I silently slipped out of the bedroom and made my way down to the gym.

When I stepped through the door, I stopped. The place that I used to frequent daily, now seemed a little weird and unfamiliar. It seemed like a lifetime ago that I used to exercise away my problems.

Out of habit, I cranked up the air-conditioning and headed over to the treadmill, starting off on a slow walk to let my muscles warm up. Once I was ready, I started building up speed until I was at a slow, leisurely jog. I stared at the speedometer as my finger hovered above the plus button. I knew that I shouldn’t go faster, something inside me was telling me no, but I just couldn’t stop myself. I pressed the button over and over, making the belt at my feet turn faster and faster until I was at a flat out run.