Nothing Left to Lose (Guarded Hearts 1)

As he’d stood at the podium and given his speech, people had listened, enraptured, and transfixed with every word. He certainly had the heart of the nation behind him and, to me, it was a momentous occasion, just to say that I was there the day that President Spencer was sworn into office.

Then there was the parade where people cheered as we all walked behind her parents. Afterwards, we’d all been led into the White House and given a tour of the private residence. Anna, being given her choice of bedrooms for when she stayed here in the school holidays, chose a blue room that overlooked the grounds at the back. The whole time we’d wandered around, my heart had been in my throat because of the sheer luxury and intricacy of the building.

After spending a few hours with Anna, getting lost within the corridors, secret passages and large expansive rooms, we’d finally had to leave to catch our flight back to Arizona, leaving her parents to go through the motions of the rest of the ceremonies and galas that were scheduled over the whole week. The Spencers’ goodbye had been a teary one, especially on Melissa’s part who hadn’t managed to contain her emotions all day long.

By the time we arrived back at our apartment, we were both exhausted and fell into bed without even unpacking our bags.

Chapter Forty-Two

The next three weeks before Carter’s trial seemed to pass in a blur. Thankfully, and quite rightly, the press were now more interested in President Spencer than they were me and Anna – though the gossip magazines still chose to feature us both on a regular basis.

Security had tightened around Anna now that the trial was so close. I’d already pulled Dean and Peter in closer as a precaution.

Anna herself had changed slightly in the last couple of weeks. As the trial drew nearer, she became a little flaky and kept going off into her own little world, often completely oblivious to everything around her. Her school work was suffering, deadlines were being missed, but luckily her professors were already going easy on her because of who her father was. For the last two days, Anna had barely eaten anything, barely spoken, and I’d almost forgotten what her smile looked like. But, true to her word, she hadn’t shut me out. We’d spoken numerous times about the trial and what would happen. Although she’d been quieter, and was clearly suffering inside, she hadn’t had the breakdown yet that I was sure would come. I’d been keeping a close eye on her, even to the point of checking her arms while she slept to make sure that she’d not been hurting herself, but thankfully, she hadn’t.

The day before the trial was due to start, the prosecution lawyer paid us another visit, again reassuring her that she shouldn’t be called into court. He’d predicted that the retrial would last no longer than a week and then it would all be over. She’d just nodded politely the whole time, holding my hand in a vice-like grip that almost cut off the circulation in my fingers.

That night, we finally went to bed. That seemed to be where most of her talking was done. It was almost as if she waited for the lights to go off or something. I figured it was easier for her to talk about it when no one was looking at her.

As she scooted over to me and set her head on my chest, I wrapped my arms around her tightly. “Are you okay, Baby Girl?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah, I’m good,” she whispered.

Frowning into the darkness, I rolled to the side and tangled one hand into the back of her hair, holding her securely against me. “Everything’s going to be fine tomorrow,” I assured her, dipping my head and kissing her cheek softly. That did it, the floodgates finally opened and she burst into tears.

I stroked her hair, knowing that there was nothing I could say or do to make her feel better as she sobbed uncontrollably onto my chest. Her whole body hitched and shook as her tears pooled on my skin and her breathing came out in ragged gasps. Her fingers dug into my back, clutching me closer to her as she cried her heart out.

After almost an hour of heart breaking sobs, she finally drifted off to sleep in my arms. I already knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep well tonight. Anger simmered inside me as all I could think about was the photos that I’d seen in her file. The bruises and broken bones that had been documented on the day that she’d been rescued flashed before my eyes. I felt sick. I rolled onto my back, keeping one arm around her, and then I just lay there, staring at the ceiling for a couple of hours before I fell into a restless sleep.

I woke early in the morning. It was only just after six. Anna was stretched out across my chest, still sound asleep. It made a change for her to be lying on me instead of the other way around. I trailed my fingers up and down her back, enjoying her closeness. This week was going to kill me. Seeing her upset like that every day was going to be pain like I’d never experienced. I lay there, watching her for another hour until she stirred, scooting closer to me and making a little sleepy groaning sound as she kissed my chest softly. When she tilted her head up, I saw that her eyes were a little bloodshot and slightly puffy from crying for so long.

I reached out and brushed her hair from her face. “Morning, Baby Girl,” I greeted, smiling sadly.

Her eyes flicked away from me as a subtle blush crept over her face. “I’m sorry I cried all over you last night, Ashton. I’m so pathetic.” She ground her teeth and frowned as she absentmindedly traced my belly button with one finger.

I closed my eyes and shook my head at her. She truly was absurd sometimes. “You’re not pathetic, and I don’t care if you cry all over me, Anna. I want to be here for you,” I promised.