Nothing Left to Lose (Guarded Hearts 1)

My heart melted into a puddle in my chest. My muscles seemed to unfreeze, so I bent forward and pressed my lips to his, knowing that nothing I could say would explain it better than that. He didn’t kiss me back though; he just stayed still as if shocked. When I pulled back, I looked up into his eyes, and I saw my whole future there.

“I love you too, Ashton,” I whispered. Air rushed out of his lungs, blowing across my face in one large burst. His eyes widened in shock as his whole body stiffened. “I’ve known it for a while but I didn’t really know how to deal with it, and I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t think that you felt the same.”

He groaned, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against mine. “Really?”

I laughed nervously and nodded. “Yeah.”

His hands cupped around my face as he tilted my head slightly. His eyes met mine. “Let’s try this again then, huh?” he whispered. His lips brushed mine when he spoke and my skin prickled with excitement. “I love you,” he repeated, grinning.

I grinned. “I love you too,” I replied immediately, feeling my heart skip a beat.

His lips crashed against mine forcefully; kissing me so fiercely that it was like he was unleashing all of his passion in one go. My arms looped around his neck and we fell back into the pillows, not breaking the kiss. His love for me resonated through every cell in my body, overwhelming me, consuming me, owning me. When the kiss broke, I was breathless. His eyes glittered with excitement and joy as he grinned down at me.

“Sorry, I need to hear it again,” he stated, looking at me hopefully.

I giggled wickedly, tangling my hand into the back of his hair. “Wow, you’re needy.”

He laughed and kissed me again, making my world spin faster. Little kisses were planted across my cheek. “I love you, Annabelle Spencer,” he purred in my ear. My whole body tingled as I gripped his hips between my knees, pulling him closer, needing him closer. I pressed my hand against the small of his back, pinning him against me. There was no way I was letting go now.

“I love you so much, Ashton,” I promised. If he knew how much, I would be in serious trouble. I had a feeling he could do anything and I would still take him back. He had my heart; I just prayed he wouldn’t break it. He smiled and let out a victorious growl as he crashed his lips back to mine, kissing me fiercely, setting my whole body on fire. I needed him. I needed that closeness, that intimacy that I only ever had with him. “Make love to me,” I begged, running my hands down his back, clutching him closer to me.

Raw desire was almost killing me. He moaned and started to peel my clothes off, slowly, trailing his fingers over my body, making me shiver. I smiled against his lips, and he pulled back and smiled too, his green eyes shining with excitement and lust, and most importantly, love.

Everything was slow, tender, perfect. Every touch filled with love, need and want. It wasn’t sex, we were making love, and we both knew it. Everything was beautiful and all consuming. He completed me, this boy. He was my life and the very thing I needed. The passion brought tears to my eyes because it was so perfect. After, I held him close on top of me as we both struggled to breathe. I was exhausted, not just from the physical exertion but from the feeling and the emotions that went into it.

He loves me…

He was kissing my neck as I combed my finger through the back of his hair, smiling contentedly.

He loves me…He really loves me. I still couldn’t quite get my head around it.

After a few minutes he shifted off me, lying down at my side and brushing my hair from my sweaty forehead. He kissed me gently, just once, a soft, chaste kiss, before propping his head up on his elbow and just smiling down at me. Neither of us spoke, it was just the perfect moment, and I didn’t ever want it to end.

After an eternity of comfortable silence, he spoke, “I want to ask you something,” he whispered.

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” I asked, smiling, feeling happier than I had ever felt in my life.

“Will you be my girlfriend? Like, for real? Be with me, be mine,” he asked, looking at me hopefully.

Mine. That word had never had much meaning in it before, but hearing Ashton asking me to be ‘mine’, I knew I would never hear that word the same again. “Of course I will.”

“I promise I’ll be the best boyfriend in the world,” he replied, looking at me tenderly.

I had no doubt in my mind about that. “You already are.”

He smiled and kissed me again. “I love you, Baby Girl.”

My heart skipped a beat at the sound of those words from his mouth; they were the sexiest damn words in the history of the world. I could feel him starting to get aroused again against my thigh, and I felt the blush creep onto my cheeks. He was like some kind of machine.

“Well, I love you back,” I said playfully as I rolled him under me and kissed him, starting all over again.

Chapter Forty-Three

For two full days and nights, I felt like I was walking on air. They describe being in love like being on cloud nine, but to me, it felt almost like twelve or thirteen at least. But, of course, something had to come along and ruin it. It was as if the universe refused to allow me to be happy. Maybe I didn’t deserve to be happy, just like I always thought. Ashton and I had barely left the apartment for two days since we first made the L-word confession. At my request, we’d skipped school and it wasn’t only because we were too wrapped up in exploring each other’s bodies, though that certainly was a part of it, but it was also because of the trial. I didn’t want to go anywhere in case I was called up suddenly and had to jump on a flight to go and give my evidence. The trial weighed on us both, casting a shadow over everything that should be wonderful and full of roses. It seemed that Carter still had a way of ruining my life, even without knowing he was doing it.