Nothing Left to Lose (Guarded Hearts 1)

“I thought you were going to let him go,” I mumbled. Had I not convinced him enough? Had I not made my case strongly enough? Knowing I needed to do everything in my power, I stepped closer to Carter and gripped my hand around the back of his head, guiding his mouth to mine as I went up onto tiptoes. He responded immediately, kissing me fiercely, taking control. The kiss was just like I remembered, rough and demanding.

Finally, he pulled away and put his forehead to mine. His brown eyes danced with excitement and joy. “Fucking hell, Princess, I forgot how much I loved you.” He smiled, running his hands through my hair. “Tell me you love me,” he ordered.

“I love you,” I replied, instantly. It was a natural response to the order, although every single syllable left me feeling dirty and used.

He sighed contentedly, his hand cupping the side of my face, caressing it gently with his thumb. He nodded and pulled away, a playful smile on his face. “Okay, here’s what we’ll do; we’ll play Russian roulette. We’ll each do a shot, the three of us, and if he’s still alive then he can go free,” he offered, grinning happily.

I started to shake, I hated this game. This game was the reason that guns terrified me.

Wait, is he actually going to give me a gun? If he gives me a gun, I’m going to kill him with it! I felt the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth, and I fought to keep my composure so that he wouldn’t know what I was thinking. I nodded eagerly, and he smiled at me curiously.

“Are you over your gun phobia now, Princess?” he asked.

I shook my head in response. “No. Guns still scare the hell out of me, but I really want him to go free. I’ll do anything. I’ll take his shot as well as mine,” I offered, holding my hand out for the gun.

“No, you f**king will not, Anna!” Ashton cried, stepping forward. One of the other men shoved him against the wall, punching him repeatedly in the stomach and chest. The sound of Ashton in pain would haunt me forever.

“Stop it! Please, stop it!” I screamed, clinging to Carter’s shirt, almost shaking him in desperation.

Carter laughed quietly. “Richard, stop, we have a game to play,” he chirped excitedly. The guy stopped hitting him and stepped back.

Ashton pushed himself painfully back to his feet. “Anna, don’t,” he begged, barely able to talk. I turned away from his face. I couldn’t look at him anymore; he was breaking my heart. He’d only just fixed it and now he was breaking it again. Worse this time, nothing could ever fix me; I would never get over him because he was everything that was good in my world.

I watched Carter take out all of the bullets and put one back in; the whole time a grin was stretched across his face. “Now, I don’t think I want to give a SWAT Agent a gun so I’ll pull yours for you,” he said to Ashton, who actually didn’t look frightened, just extremely pissed off and murderously angry.

I couldn’t allow that to happen, I couldn’t take the chance of the bullet being in the chamber when the gun went off. “No! Point it at me, I’ll take his one too,” I insisted. A lone tear rolled down my cheek as I reached for Carter’s hand, trying to pull the gun in my direction.

Carter scoffed. “Princess, that’s not how the game is played, you know that, you’ve played before,” he stated sternly, raising his gun to Ashton, whilst holding me back with his other hand. Panic surged through me and I grabbed for his arm again. He shifted and rewarded me with another slap to my already sore face. I yelped and slammed against the wall, putting my hands out for balance to stop me from falling to the floor.

“I’m going to kill you!” Ashton growled through his teeth. “I swear to God, I’m going to rip you to f**king shreds with my bare hands.”

Carter chose to ignore him and didn’t respond. The gun was pointed directly at Ashton’s face. “Carter! At least aim for his leg or something! Please, I don’t want anyone else to die today. Please?” I begged.

My heart was in my throat as Carter’s finger squeezed the trigger. I flinched, waiting for the loud bang, waiting for the sound of Ashton’s agonising cry of pain as the bullet ripped through his flesh, waiting for the sound of his body hitting the floor.

But nothing happened. It just clicked.

Unable to hold my nerve anymore, I turned to the side and vomited violently. Carter laughed wickedly, gripping my arm and pulling me to my feet while I continued to dry heave. “Nope, not over your gun phobia. You threw up last time we played too, you remember that? Best night of my life,” he cooed, looking right into my eyes. I was barely able to stop myself from punching him in the face; I just needed to get Ashton out first. “You remember that night, right?” he repeated, slipping his hand down to my ass and pulling my body flush against his. I nodded and closed my eyes, willing myself not to remember the night that he first forced himself on me and took my innocence. My whole body was shaking, my breathing was coming in gasps, and my heart was beating too fast. I closed my eyes, fighting for control of my emotions so that I didn’t switch off and go into meltdown – that wouldn’t help Ashton survive.

When I opened my eyes, I saw that Carter was looking at me, clearly amused. He wiped my mouth roughly, laughing before bending and planting a kiss on the corner of my mouth. “Your turn now, Princess,” he instructed, waggling his eyebrows at me. He turned the gun in his hand so he held out the handle to me. I looked at it hesitantly, unsure if I would be able to do what I had planned. I took a deep breath before raising a shaky hand and taking the gun from his grasp. “That’s a good girl. All you need to do is pull the trigger.” He smiled and pushed the gun so it was pointing under my chin. I closed my eyes, taking a couple of deep breaths. When I opened them, I looked straight at Ashton. I nodded, hoping that he would get ready and know what I was planning.