Nothing Left to Lose (Guarded Hearts 1)

“Why does she want to get out of there?” she replied, smirking at me. This was a running joke, Anna was convinced that it was a girl, and I was convinced it was a boy. In all honesty, neither of us cared as long as it was healthy.

“Because he knows I was going to finish painting the nursery this weekend, so he’s trying to be awkward like his momma,” I teased, settling onto the bed next to her, taking her hand.

“Maybe she wants to see you so she can… OUCH, SHIT!” she gasped, clamping her jaw together and squeezing my hand tightly.

I looked at her helplessly; I had no idea what to do to help. “Shh, it’s okay, Baby Girl. It’ll be over in a bit,” I soothed as I rubbed her stomach lightly. Oh God, please let everything be okay, don’t let me lose either of them, please!

“Shit. Ashton, go tell them I need drugs!” she hissed, looking at me pleadingly.

“Okay, let go of my hand then and I’ll go sort it out,” I replied, trying to pry her hand off mine, but she just held it tighter.

“Don’t leave me!” she cried, breathing in pants. I nodded and slammed my hand down on the call button, and a minute later a doctor came in, just as the contraction was easing off. Anna slowly started to relax and sat back, looking pale and sweaty.

“Bad one?” the doctor asked, smiling kindly at her.

Anna nodded and pressed her face into my chest, catching her breath. I stroked her hair. I’d wanted this baby so much, but seeing her in pain kind of made me wish that we hadn’t done this at all.

“Okay, well let’s do another exam and see how you’re getting on,” the doctor suggested, coming over to the side of the bed and lifting the sheet. After a minute the doctor pulled back and smiled, throwing her gloves in the trash. “You’re doing so great, Anna. You’re almost nine centimetres. Just keep doing what you’re doing.” She patted her leg and smiled.

I looked at my wife proudly, she really was incredible, and I loved her more than anything. Suddenly, Anna leant forward and grabbed my hand, hissing through her teeth again as another contraction took hold. Wow, that was fast. It had been less than two minutes! “The baby’s impatient to meet its parents,” the doctor joked, rubbing Anna’s leg as she squeezed the life out of my hand.

“Ouch… shit! Ashton, you better not want any more kids after this because I’m not doing this again!” Anna shouted loudly, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Okay, Baby Girl, one’s perfect. I always only wanted one baby anyway,” I joked, trying to make her feel better. “You’re doing so great, Anna, so great.” I stroked her hair with my free hand and kissed her sweaty forehead.

“I need the gas! Get me the damn gas!” she screamed, pointing at it. I winced and jumped up, grabbing it. Holy shit, in labour Anna is feisty!

After three of the longest and most painful hours of my life, she was finally ready to push. Well, what was meant by ‘finally ready’ was that she had been pushing for almost half an hour, and they could finally see some progress. She had her legs up in stirrups with a sheet draped over so we couldn’t see what was going down there. I stayed up near her head, having the bones in my hand slowly crushed where she was squeezing so hard. Anna was sucking on the gas and air like it was going out of fashion. She was a little woozy and kept saying things that made me laugh. It was kind of like she was slightly drunk or high.

“Okay, Anna, here comes another contraction. I need you to push real hard for me when I say, but not until I tell you,” the doctor instructed, peeking over the sheet and smiling encouragingly.

Anna shook her head fiercely as tears rolled down her cheeks. “I can’t. I can’t do it anymore. Please just get her out!” she wailed. She grabbed my shirt and pulled me down so our faces were inches apart. “This is your damn fault, Ashton! Do you have any idea how much this freaking hurts?” she growled through clenched teeth. Her hand wound around the back of my head so I couldn’t pull away.

“My fault?” I asked, confused and honestly a little scared of her. It looked like she was trying to kill me with her eyes.

She gasped and nodded. “For getting me pregnant! Oh God, I need to push RIGHT NOW!” she screamed. Her hand fisted into the back of my hair, making me grit my teeth as my scalp started to burn. I wanted to ask her to let go, but I couldn’t exactly complain while she was pushing a little person out of her, my guess is I was getting off pretty lightly with a little hair pulling.

After a huge push and a lot of screaming, she narrowed her eyes at me. “If you think you’re getting in my pants again after this, you’ve got another thing coming!” She shoved the gas tube back into her mouth and sucked on it hard, whilst glaring at me as if I was the one hurting her.

I grinned. I loved it when she was like this. I knew I shouldn’t like it, but the bitchy side of Anna was kind of a turn-on for some reason. I loved that my girl had some fight in her and wouldn’t take any crap. “Who said I want in your pants again anyway?” I joked.

She burst out laughing then immediately stopped and gasped. “Not again, not yet. I need a break!” she moaned, sucking on the gas as the little contraction monitor on the side started scribbling on the paper like crazy.

“Okay, one last push, Anna. Come on, you can do it,” the doctor instructed.

I grabbed her hand and made sure she couldn’t grip my hair again as she took a deep breath and pushed, squeezing her eyes shut. Her whole torso rose off the bed from the effort.