“Yeah. Wasn’t a fun time,” she answered.
“I bet.” Silence filled the air as my foot twitched. I was nervous because I wasn’t sure why she’d asked me in here and how this conversation was going to go down.
“Jamie, I wanted to ask you something. I didn’t get a chance the other day what with all the other revelations,” she started, turning around to face me and leaning on the edge of the counter. “Why did you pay for my father’s funeral?” Her eyes tightened as she said it, and it was clear she was still struggling with the loss of him.
I shrugged. I hadn’t been expecting this question; I’d almost forgotten I had paid for it, actually, what with everything else going on. “I wanted to make sure you weren’t struggling with money or anything. You had enough to deal with and the invoice was unpaid, so I paid it.” There were no other motives. “I just wanted to make things easier for you and take the pressure off a little. There didn’t seem to be any other way I could help.”
She gulped, and her shoulders sagged as she frowned down at the floor. “You didn’t need to do that. But it was a very nice gesture. Thank you, I appreciate the thought. You always were thoughtful like that,” she said, turning back to the kettle, which was starting to whistle on the stove. “I’ll pay you back, of course. I have money.” She glanced shyly over her shoulder.
I smiled and shook my head. “Keep it. I don’t need it. Money isn’t an issue for me.”
“Yeah, I gathered that from the expensive car and penthouse apartment,” she muttered, reaching up for the mugs from the top cupboard. I opened my mouth to reply, but as she raised her arm, the movement caused her tank top to rise a little. A strip of skin was exposed across her midriff and my mouth watered, wanting to trace that line with my tongue and head lower, tasting her and making her moan my name in that breathy way she used to.
Focus, Jamie!
She looked over her shoulder then, and her eyes twinkled as her mouth kicked up at the corner in a smug smile. She’d caught me looking. I didn’t even care.
“Sorry, what?” I asked, my voice husky and full of lust.
“Busted for staring at my ass,” she teased, raising one eyebrow.
“It’s a nice ass,” I replied.
Her eyes sparkled from the compliment, and she picked up the two mugs, carrying them to the table and seating herself in the chair next to mine. “Well, thank you. For the compliment and for paying the invoice.”
“You’re welcome for both.” I turned in my chair slightly so our knees were just a hairsbreadth away from each other. “So, how you been the last couple of days?” I asked, wanting to change the conversation from money. I had a feeling that wasn’t why she’d asked me in here tonight.
She picked up her mug, blowing the swirling steam from the top, watching me over the rim. “I broke up with Toby.”
My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open in shock. “Yeah?” I could feel the smile fighting to break out, so I tried to stifle it and not show how fucking happy that made me. No more imagining that asshole’s hands on her and his mouth on hers. I was ecstatic.
She nodded. “Yeah, I decided I would be leaving too much behind if I went back to England.”
“Ah, well, I’m sorry to hear about you two not making it.” I wasn’t sorry at all, but felt I needed to say the words anyway.
She smiled knowingly. “Liar.”
I grinned down at my hands and shrugged one shoulder. Obviously didn’t mask my expression as well as I thought. “All right, I admit it. Did I like the thought of you with another man? Hell fucking no. Did I find it hard not to come over and punch him in the face when I saw you two together? Yes, yes, I did; but I am sorry if this breakup has hurt you in any way.” That was the truth. I didn’t want her hurt, and if the guy had made her happy that was all I wanted for her.
She set her mug on the table. “Why did you hate the thought of me with another man?” she asked, cocking her head to the side in that adorable way she did and regarding me curiously. I had the distinct impression I was being tested. I hoped I got the answer right.
“You know why, Ellie.” Because I’m madly in love with you, that’s why.
She shook her head, straightening in her chair. “I don’t, actually.” She seemed to hold her breath as her eyes met mine. I could see a hopeful glint in them that made my heart stutter.
“Because you were supposed to be mine. And you were until I fucked it all up. I should have asked you to stay and wait for me.” Honesty was always the best policy.
Her eyes widened a fraction, her mouth quirked up into a smile. “You should have,” she agreed.
I cleared my throat, deciding to just spit it out. She was obviously trying to coax me into admitting I was still fucking nuts about her. “So do you think that maybe I’d get another shot? Take you out one time?”
She grinned now, her eyes playful. “Just one time?”
“Okay, maybe a lot more than one time.”
She blew out a long breath, seeming to steel herself as she set her mug on the table and twisted in her seat to look at me. “Look, why don’t we cut the playful act, we just need to be honest with each other because up until now there’s been a lot of lies that have kept us apart. Do you still love me, Jamie?” Her eyes dropped to her lap as soon as the words left her mouth. Her jaw clenched and she frowned, seeming unsure of herself.
My hand stretched out, hooking a finger under her chin. I tilted her head up and made her look at me. I wanted to look into her eyes when I said the words so she would see the truth of them. “I’ll never stop loving you, Ellie, not until the day I die. If you let me, I will take care of you forever. All I ever wanted was to be with you and have a life with you,” I said honestly. Her face softened, the stress leaving it as her eyes bored into mine, but then just as quickly as the happiness crossed her face it was gone and she was guarded again. “What’s wrong? That wasn’t the answer you wanted?”
She shook her head, pushing my hand away gently. “It’s not that. It was the answer I wanted.” She swallowed, looking at me helplessly. “I could love you; I do love you. And I want to be with you again,” she replied.
My heart soared for a second before bumping back to earth with her next word.
“But...”
I groaned and let my hand drop from her chin. “There’s always a but.”
She nodded, her expression almost apologetic. “But...the life you lead, I can’t...” She frowned, seeming to be choosing her words carefully. “How can we even think about the possibility of a future when every day there’s a chance of you being hurt or killed or that the police could show up and arrest you? I can’t live like that. I love you, I do, but...”
That was it? That was her but? That wasn’t a but at all, it was barely even a b...If my job was the only thing holding her back, then this was easy. Before I could stop myself, I reached out and cupped her face in my hands, leaning over and crashing my mouth to hers. She whimpered against my lips, kissing me back immediately, her arms looping around my neck. When her lips parted everything in me rejoiced and the kiss deepened, setting my very soul on fire. I needed her closer, I needed her so close we’d meld together and never be apart again. My hands slid down her sides to her waist, gripping as I lifted her easily, setting her on my lap. Her chest pressed against mine, her smell surrounded me, and her arms tightened on my neck as the kiss grew, changed, morphed into something magical and all-consuming.
I pulled back when we were both breathless and rested my forehead against hers. My heart was hammering in my chest in celebration as she pressed herself tighter against me, her eyes gleeful as they met mine.
“You don’t have to worry about my job,” I promised. My hands slid down to her ass; the material of her shorts, sleek and sexy, made my excitement bump up another level. “I’ll stop doing it. I’ll stop all the illegal shit. I’ll do anything it takes. I’ll leave everything, get a normal job, be an ordinary guy, just like we’d always planned. I only got into this
life because I had no reason to be good, no one to be good for—now I do.” I moved her hips, and her crotch rubbed across mine in a delicious way that made my mouth water. Ellie had always had the ability to make me hard in an instant.
“Are you serious?” Her eyes searched mine. “Look, I know I’m being unreasonable, I should love everything about you and not care what you do, but I can’t love something that could one day take you away from me again. I can’t let myself be with you only to hear you’ve been shot or stabbed or some other horrific thing that’s going to rip my heart out. I can’t do it.”
I smiled at that. “You’re all I need. None of this ever meant anything to me anyway.”
Ellie shook her head, clearly not convinced as her fingers toyed with the hair at the nape of my neck, making my skin prickle with desire. “But it shouldn’t be that easy for you to just decide. I’m asking you to give up your life for me, Jamie.”
“No, you’re not. You’re my life, little girl. Everything else is just existing, not living.” I shook my head, tracing my fingers up her back softly, so happy I could barely contain my exhilaration that this girl still loved me, that she wanted to give me another chance, that she wanted to give us another chance.
Her mouth popped open in shock and her eyes flashed with intensity before she squealed and pressed her lips to mine, kissing me almost desperately. My whole body was rejoicing, reveling in the weight of her on my lap, the feel of her in my arms, her warmth. All of it combined frazzled my senses and made me so excited that I could barely sit still.