“If we tried to make this work for real, in the long run, how would we manage it so we could both be happy? Am I the only one thinking that way?”
“No,” she whispers, to my relief. “Scenarios have crossed my mind, too. But I don’t have any answers.”
“Yeah.” I shake my head in agreement. “No matter what we do, someone has to give up something big.”
“We’re not in an easy position, are we?”
We turn quiet, and I’m sure we both wish everything could be as simple as the last couple of days have been. Breathing with Ella is effortless. So is sleeping, laughing, talking, cuddling, eating…just being together.
Why is everything suddenly so fucking complicated?
As the song ends, I pull her close. I hate this feeling of being torn in multiple directions and having no control over my life. I want to damn Shaw. I even want to damn myself for being desperate enough to take his deal. But none of that changes where we are and the fact that I may have to make some difficult decisions after tonight. My earlier decision to put space between Ella and me seems more logical…but less possible. I’d far rather tell her how I feel and simply let the chips fall. We might not end up together, but at least I’ll know I was one hundred percent honest with her.
“Let’s not worry right now,” she whispers, then she leans in to kiss me.
Avoidance of the problem, I know. But as I meet her halfway and press my lips to hers, that sounds damn fine.
The moment we kiss, the room seems to fade away. The music disappears. I’m left with only the sound of my beating heart and the feel of her clinging to my shoulders.
In that moment, I want to give her my breath, my future, and my heart.
I pull back, smooth a dark curl from her face, and swallow hard. “I think I’m in love with you.”
Her face is blank for a terrible moment. Then excitement dances in her eyes. Her lips curl up in a joyous smile. Happiness brightens her whole face. I find myself smiling back.
Ella blushes, bites her lip. “I think I’m in love with you, too.”
She sobers for a moment, seeming to remember, as I do, that our feelings don’t change our circumstances. Someone is going to have to give up something in order for us to be together. Or we’ll have to part ways. There’s no way to have our cake and eat it, too.
“Oh, how touching,” Gregory Shaw drawls as he dances Kendra across the floor in the opposite direction.
Kendra sends me a pleading stare of apology. She’s trying…within the scope of what she can do. Her father doesn’t listen to her—or to anyone.
“It is, actually,” I snarl because I’ve had enough of him manipulating me. “Stop spitting out the most sarcastic quip in every scenario and start caring more about the fact that you’re making everyone around you—even your own daughter—unhappy for the sake of some ambition or rivalry none of us even understands.” I stop dancing and grab Ella’s hand. “You know my heart is with Ella. But if you want to keep pushing and force me to marry Kendra, you’ll wind up with a disaster. I’ll bury myself in work to make sure you never gain another smidgen of influence at Sweet Darlin’. Don’t expect grandchildren. And don’t be surprised when your daughter sneaks around behind my back and breaks her marriage vows repeatedly. I won’t stop her because I know she’ll be looking for a deep, true love—something we don’t share. She’ll come to resent you for her loneliness and the impossible position you’ve put her in. She’ll run off the second she comes into her trust fund. There won’t be a damn thing either of us can do to stop her. So unless you want to see us in divorce court in three years, I suggest you find another tactic. Or go fuck yourself.” I tug on Ella’s hand. “Let’s go.”
She follows me off the floor, squeezing my hand tightly in silent support. I don’t know who overheard us and I don’t care anymore. If I have to marry Kendra in fifteen days, it doesn’t matter if people know neither of us is happy before the vows. I’m sure it will be obvious as hell to them afterward.
As I open the door for Ella, I’m so glad to escape the hotel. I give the valet my claim check. He dashes off and we wait to make our final escape.
“That was a good speech,” she praises me.
“It was the truth. I hope I didn’t just fuck everything up.”
“What you said needed to be said. If Shaw doesn’t see how right you are, it’s because he doesn’t want to.”
I nod. “But it also doesn’t change anything, sweetheart. I either have to break the deal altogether and come to you a poor man with nothing that resembles the means to make a productive livelihood or ask you to wait for Kendra to come into her trust fund when she’s twenty-five and I’ve managed to divorce her. That’s three years from now.”
She must feel my tension because she fits herself against me, buffering me from the lash of hot wind and anger with a hug, cupping my cheek in her hand. “We don’t have to have all the answers tonight.”
“No, but if we’re going to last, we need them soon.”
Ella doesn’t argue. She knows I’m right.
“I’m sorry,” I say into the silence.
“For what?”
“Dragging you into this hopeless situation. If I’d had any inkling we’d wind up here…”
“In love and unable to see a way we can be together?” She caresses my face. “How could you have known?”
“I called you, rather than someone else, because you made me feel something when we met.”
“And besides the money, I said yes for the same reason.” She gives me a sad smile. “Even if we can’t stay together, I wouldn’t have missed spending this time with you for anything. I’ve looked for love for years without knowing what I want or need out of a relationship. Now, I do. I’ll probably never find it again,” she admits softly. “But at least I’ll know.”
Damn it, how is this woman so amazing?
The car arrives, and the valet helps Ella inside. We share a silent ride home, me steering with one hand and curling my fingers around hers with the other. All I can think about is being close to her.
The trip seems like the longest fifteen minutes of my life, but we’re finally pulling up in front of my building. Without exchanging a word, we make our way through my door. The mood has a solemn excitement that confuses me. We both know our time may be limited to a number of days we can count with fingers and toes. But we’re together now, alone, aware that we’re falling for each other.
She sets her purse on the hall table just inside the door. I toss my car keys beside it. Our stares meet. The pull between us tugs and pings. Our chemistry takes up all the air in the room.
“Show me the zipper on your dress.”
Ella turns her back to me, lifting her hands to unwind her hair from its elegant updo. As I pinch the tab and tug, parting the silk, her hair comes tumbling down, the long curls brushing the pale skin halfway down her back. I caress her shoulders, draping the delicate straps of her dress over her arms. The fabric is so silky it clings to her every curve as it slinks to the floor. Before I even speak, she steps out of the silken puddle, clad only in a strapless bra, a sexy-as-hell thong, and heels that make her legs look endless and lean.
“Take off your panties,” I murmur in her ear, gratified when she shudders and complies. I unclasp her bra at the same time. They both litter the floor moments later, just beside her shimmering dress. But she’s still not naked, and I need her to be. “Shoes.”
At my prompt, Ella steps out of them and onto the hardwood floor. She slides closer, until her backside cradles my front. She’s bare from head to toe, her soft skin abrading the fabric of my tux as I splay a palm over her abdomen and caress my way up to cradle her heavy breast. When I bend to kiss her neck, she tilts her head to give me more access to her graceful throat and lets loose a groan. I nip and suck at her while my other hand finds its way between her legs, fingers sinking b
etween her folds. She’s completely drenched.
“Why so wet?” I ask as I toy with her clit. “What have you been thinking about, sweetheart?”