Sex had always been a bodily function. Something Connor required, but still a pleasure to be had and forgotten. With her it was as necessary as breathing, something to sink into and savor, a pleasure to build on and protect. He let himself go, forgot about all the problems they still faced, and focused on the only thing of importance—comforting her.
She wanted to be out of her head. He could give her that.
“Show me your breasts,” he whispered along her lips. His cock was already hard and wanting, but he ignored it for the moment. The horny bastard wasn’t in charge yet.
She sat up on his lap and grabbed the hem of her shirt. She dragged it over her head and tossed it aside. A plain white bra covered her breasts. Odd that he’d seen some of the world’s most beautiful women in expensive lingerie, but Lara Armstrong in cotton called to him. It had nothing to do with the packaging and everything to do with the way she glowed. The day’s events had dimmed her light, but he was going to make damn sure to stoke it back to life.
He raised his hand to the silky skin of her neck, trailing down to just above her breast. “You are the most beautiful woman in the world.”
She shook her head. “Now I know you’re lying.”
He forced her to look at him. “No matter what else happens between us, I’m going to make you believe this. You are the most beautiful thing I ever have or ever will see. I’m crazy about you.”
“Connor, my face is puffy. I know what I look like when I cry.”
“You look like a real woman.” He cupped her breast through the bra, her nipple already hard against his palm. It was good to know her nipples still liked him. “I know you’re confused about what happened yesterday and you want to lump me in with Kiki and Tom, but I’ve never hidden the real me from you. Yes, I didn’t tell you my real name or why I was there. But the man falling in love with you was absolutely real.”
Her lower lip came out in the sexiest pout. “And Niall?”
She was never going to forget that. Gabe had warned him . . . “That was the Internet. It doesn’t count. Even then I think I knew. That’s why I didn’t come to you as Niall. I wanted to come to you as me. I wanted you to like me, to need me.”
“You can be an asshole.” But her chest was rising, forcing her breast into his hand like a kitten begging for a stroke.
“Yes. See, no lies there. I would have had an easier time if I’d put on a mask, but I wanted you to see the real me in all my fucked-up glory. Take off the bra.”
She sat up in his lap, reaching to the back of her bra. “You’re very bossy.”
At least she was starting to relax. He could see it in the way her lips had begun to curl up when she spoke. “I like being the boss of you.”
She let the bra drop and almost immediately her back arched, offering up those gorgeous breasts to him. “You’re so not the boss of me.”
He reached and tweaked one of those perfect nipples. “I am here.”
“What if I want to be the boss?” Lara asked on a shaky breath.
Just the idea made his gut twist. There was emotional vulnerability and then there was the primal fear of being truly, physically vulnerable.
She cupped his face. “I was just joking, Connor.”
There was his Lara. She was looking at him with such openness. He took a breath to ease back into the moment. She’d talked to him. Maybe it was time to really talk to her. “Take off your pants and I’ll tell you what happened to me.”
She was off his lap in a heartbeat, her eagerness a balm to the wounds of the day. “You said your last girlfriend hurt you.”
Oh, she was so good at making things sound better than they really were. “She wasn’t my girlfriend, princess. She was a coworker and she turned out to be a double agent.”
Her eyes were wide as she kicked off the rest of her clothes and stood naked in front of him. “Double agent?”
He adored how unselfconscious she was. Most women would be posing to their advantage or begging for compliments, but for Lara, nakedness was just another state of being. He intended to keep her naked as much as possible. Just being able to look at her, to know he was the only man in her life, soothed in ways he hadn’t thought possible. “Come here.”
He tugged her into his lap and breathed in her scent.
“Connor? Double agent? Like she was spying for someone else?”
“Oh, yes.” Now that she was naked in his arms, he didn’t want to talk about his idiocy. But he’d promised. “We were tracking down an urban terrorist cell in Europe. We posed as a couple for about six months.”
“So you had a relationship with her.”
He toyed with her nipples. Such pretty pink buds. Everything about her fascinated him. “Take your hair down for me. I like it down. And no, I didn’t have a relationship with her. We fucked. It was nothing but an itch to scratch. Nothing like what I feel for you.”
Her hair tumbled around her shoulders and down her back. “I’m not an itch?”
He gathered her close, her hair tangling them together. “You’re my everything.” He slid his hand between her legs. “So just before we busted the cell in Berlin, she seduced me. She said she wanted one more night and I didn’t notice the knife in her hand until she carved up my chest with it. She was on top of me, riding away. I watched her climax. After she’d stabbed me.”
“Connor.” Gaping, Lara tried to sit up.
“Don’t move. I’m only getting through this story because you’re soft and sweet in my arms. Spread your legs and let me touch you.” She complied and he stroked down her thighs before continuing. “The only reason I survived was she left the knife in. If she’d removed it, I would have bled out. She didn’t and I played dead. I managed to hold that knife in until they got me to the ER. Five months later I tracked her down. I ended her. I still need to be in control during sex but I want to give you everything you need.”
She shook her head. “Right now, I don’t need anything but you.”
And later? Stubborn thing. “You have me for as long as you want.”
“Then make me forget, Connor. I don’t think I can sleep tonight without replaying what happened today in my head.”
He stood up, sweeping her into his arms. “Then I’ll give you something else to think about.”
He carried her to his bedroom, ready to pour himself, heart and soul, into her.
* * *
Lara didn’t have much time to look around. Connor practically raced through his mansion of a home. She’d purposefully not studied it before. She hadn’t wanted to see the real him, didn’t want to know any more about the man. She’d been afraid to get too attached. Now she had no idea how she could possibly escape it.
She really was an idiot.
He strode through French doors and into what had to be the master bedroom. It looked to be bigger than her apartment. She had a glimpse of a sitting area before he moved to the bed. She would bet he’d hired an interior designer. The space was utterly masculine, with dark woods and deep tones. It reminded her of a very elegant lair. The perfect home for a predator.
But this particular predator had been awfully sweet to her tonight.
He laid her out on the bed. “Put your arms above your head and keep them there. No movi
ng allowed.”
She looked up at him. She was completely naked while he was still in his T-shirt and jeans and boots. “I thought we were going to . . .” She’d started to say make love. She wasn’t sure that wasn’t exactly what they were about to do, but she wasn’t ready to use the word love around him yet. “. . . have sex.”
The look in his eyes told her he suspected what she’d thought, but he was letting it go for now. “You want me to take you out of your head for a while. I’ll do that, but I’ll do it my way. Hands over your head. Don’t move. If you can’t keep your hands to yourself, I’ll find a way to tie them down.”