After I brush my teeth, I practically glide through the living room in my sleepy haze to the smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen. Mason has continued to give me the space I need, but now I feel like I’m losing him. I don’t expect him to wait for me forever, and it’s something I’ve been thinking about lately.
After everything that’s happened, it feels like the universe is telling us to slow down. Not that I can’t trust Mason—hell, he’s saved my life more than once—but I want to make sure I’m really ready when it’s time to take the next step. I don’t want to rush into a relationship and ruin something that could be great for us both, and I know he understands that more than I could’ve ever imagined, but still. It hurts to know I’m the reason we can’t be together the way we deserve to be.
When I sit at the table, he sets a cup of coffee down made just the way I like it. The cream makes it the perfect temperature to drink immediately. Mason places some scrambled eggs and sausage in front of me, and I give him a thankful smile in return. My eyes wander down his bare chest to the jogging pants that sit haphazardly on his hips. The sound of him clearing his throat brings my eyes back to his.
“I said, good morning,” he repeats with a smirk as he sits in front of me and starts eating. I’m a woman of little words in the morning, a habit I’ve been trying to break since moving in but have failed miserably. Instead, Mason just conforms to my ways and lets me drink my coffee and eat in silence, something I used to crave with my last roommates.
There are a few elephants in the room. One has Serena’s name on it, but we’ve both been avoiding that conversation like the plague. Then again, I don’t really have anything more to say about that.
“Ready to go back to the rehearsal hall today?” he asks, squirting ketchup on his plate.
Sucking in a deep breath, I nod. “Yeah. I think so. It’s going to be weird, though.”
“Because you haven’t played?”
I knew he’d ask me about it, considering he hasn’t this whole time, and I nod, focusing on my food.
I’ve been counting down to this day, but I actually feel ready, which is great since I didn’t know if I’d be okay when I gave a return date to my director. Though my therapist said she’d write up the paperwork to allow for a longer medical leave, I refused. I desperately want to get back to my routine, and this is the first step.
It grows awkward between us, and I’m not really sure what to say, but thankfully, Liam walks in and interrupts us. He’s standing in his underwear with messy hair and no fucks to give.
“Dude,” Mason says when Liam takes a piece of sausage from his plate.
Liam tries to lean over and give Mason a kiss on the cheek, but Mason pushes his face away. “Sometimes you’re the most annoying human on the planet.”
He shrugs, pours himself a cup of coffee, and plops at the table as if the room isn’t thick with tension. “What were you two lovebirds discussing?”
I roll my eyes at his loaded question. “Your mom.”
He lets out a big fake laugh. “Oh man, Sophie. Maybe you should become a comedian. You’re so quick with the jokes!” Liam raises his mug at me with a smirk.
“Good, because it’s my plan B when I get kicked off the symphony.” I glare at him without really meaning it.
“Oh, is that today?” he asks apologetically, and I hate that I’ve made him feel bad about it.
“Yep, which means I better get moving so I’m not late on my first day back.” I stand and put my plate in the sink. “Thanks for breakfast, Mason.”
Our eyes meet, and for a moment, all I want to do is get lost in him, but I notice Liam is staring, so I force my legs to move. I go to my room and get dressed for work, but it proves to be more difficult than I expected. Nothing feels or looks right, and I change my outfit four different times before settling on something more comfortable—black slacks and a cream blouse. It’s been a while since I’ve been around my colleagues, and I’m more concerned about the looks and questions I’m going to get. However, I’m rusty from not practicing too. Today, there will be no playing from memory, and I’ll be forced to sight read every piece of music I have.
I check the time, then grab my violin case and rush out the door. Before I set it on my passenger seat, I open the case, just to make sure it’s still there. Slowly, I run my fingers across the smooth grain of the wood before shutting it. Taking in a deep breath, I start the car and drive across town. Though I’ll be early, it’ll give me enough time to find a dash of courage to go inside. On the way over, I listen to music, hoping to keep my mind busy, and it works until I pull into the parking lot.