He sucked in a breath. “Excuse me?”
“You know what I mean.” I waved my hand. “You’ve told me time and time again that you don’t want me. That there will never be anything more between us than acquaintances.”
“Your point?”
My eyes widened. “My point is…you can’t stop me from finding friendship with other people if you’re not willing to provide it.”
“I’m not stopping you.”
“Yes, you are. You chased him away like a puppy.”
“He is a puppy. A puppy that hasn’t been neutered.”
“What are you doing? You shouldn’t care—”
“I don’t.” His jaw worked.
“Then why are you—”
“I’ve already told you. I’m protecting you. He comes from a family of assholes. You want to be used and hurt by him? Then, by all means, I’ll back off.” His voice lost its heat, slipping back into collected ice. “Is that what you want?”
What I want is for you to want me the way Carter does.
My shoulders slouched; my hands fell from my hips. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I guess it means you’re driving me insane.” Hugging the bags of horse minerals, I brushed past him and stormed down the aisle—he could figure out about paying.
He stalked me, every step I made he chased me with an identical one until we left the store and I made the mistake of spinning to face him by his truck.
Sunshine beamed down on us, cloaking him in golden softness. His hat shadowed his face, making his eyes black and cheekbones so sharp my fingers tingled to trace them.
The second I caught his gaze, he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. For a moment, my entire body throbbed to hug him. I wanted to crush him close and tell him it was okay to like me…even just a little bit. It wasn’t a death sentence.
But I knew better than to try.
Rolling his shoulders, he forced himself to speak. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”
I froze. An apology was the last thing I expected.
“I just…I don’t want you getting hurt. If you want to go out with someone while you’re here, I’ll, um, I’ll think about which guys I went to school with and let you know who isn’t a womanizing bastard.”
I couldn’t stop my shocked laugh. “Wait, you’re saying you’ll play matchmaker now?”
“I’m saying I’d rather protect you than let you get hurt.”
Goosebumps sprang over my arms despite the sunny heat. How could this hurt so much? Why did the thought of Jacob willingly setting me up on a date crush me right beneath his muddy boot?
He was trying to be nice.
To be civil…just like he promised.
Rubbing my arms, I looked at the ground. “It’s okay, Jacob. I don’t want to date anyone.”
“But you just agreed to go out with—”
“Only because the waterfall and gully sounded cool. Not because of him in particular.” I forced myself to smile as if he hadn’t just ripped out my heart for the billionth time. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“If you need a friend, Hope, then the least I can do is help you find one.”
There he went again, creating hurt on top of hurt. “Your mom is my friend. Cassie. Nina. I have enough. Truly.”
He squeezed the back of his neck. “Then why do I feel so fucking guilty for what I just did?”
I shrugged. “Nothing to feel guilty about.”
His gaze fell to my locket. The locket he’d bought me. The locket that’d touched my skin every day for years because I couldn’t stop thinking about him. “I know…I know I’m not easy. I didn’t mean to—”
“Stop.” My voice threaded with temper. “It’s fine. Let’s just go home. I’m suddenly not hungry after all.”
I reached for the passenger door, but Jacob just stood there. Tall and unmovable, strict and unlovable. “That goddamn kiss ruined everything.”
My fingers clamped on the door handle. “What?”
“Things were okay before. There wasn’t this…mess between us.”
My hand slowly fell away, curling into a fist. “This mess?”
“Yeah. This. Whatever this is.”
“And whose fault is that?”
He looked at the sky, a morbid chuckle on his lips. “Yours. Most definitely yours.”
“How do you figure?”
“You’re the one who invited yourself to my farm. You’re the one who pushed me. You’re the one who kissed me.”
My jaw fell open. “I think you’ll find you kissed me.”
“A momentary lapse of concentration.” He prowled toward me, hands shoved deep into his pockets. “Something I wish I could take back.”
I struggled to keep eye contact as tears welled and sadness crept up my spine. “Oh, don’t worry. You’re not the only one. I wish I could take it back too. I wish I could go back in time and never have met you.”
His eyes hardened to glittering gemstones. “That would definitely make life a lot simpler.”
“And simple is acceptable to you, isn’t it? Nothing complicated. Nothing messy. No relationship of any kind.”