Leaving me by the door, Jacob strode through the one-bedroom place with a familiarity that came from living here a while. He switched on a solar-powered lantern hanging over a small table with two chairs, lit three candles by a queen-sized bed with just a white sheet to sleep on and black sheet to cover, before coming toward me and clicking a switch by the door.
A weak electrical bulb above us flickered on, intermittent with the raindrops above.
“Not sure how long we’ll have power.” Padding away, his sandy feet left a trail as he entered the small bathroom at the back of the room and returned with two towels. Threadbare and faded, he tossed one to me before using the other to attack his wet hair.
I tried to keep my eyes on the floor as I wiped rain off my arms and soaked up what I could from my dress, but Jacob was too much to ignore. His motions too swift and sharp not to command my full attention.
The way he scrubbed his hair until the salt-bleached strands tangled and tousled almost to his shoulders. The way he wiped his chest and arms with focused purpose but only made my heart race to touch.
“You done?” His voice made me jump.
“What?”
“With the towel.” He pointed at it scrunched in my hands.
“Oh.” I held it up. “Yes. Thank you.”
“Welcome.” With a stern look, he took it and deposited both in the bathroom. Heading toward a suitcase tucked in the corner with clothes folded neatly inside, he selected a white T-shirt and pulled it on.
My tummy clenched. I missed seeing his naked chest, but the white made his tan skin pop even more, and the fairness of his head became almost at odds with the depths of his eyes.
Dark eyes from his father.
Light hair from his mother.
Fight and fury from loneliness.
“Do you want some clothes?” Finally, his gaze drifted over my body. The translucent calico didn’t hide a thing, and the urge to cup my breasts and wedge arms against my lower belly was out of propriety for Michael.
I’d already been a terrible person to him.
I wouldn’t make my sins worse by showing off a body that by rights belonged to him—even though I burned for Jacob to stare.
But I didn’t move because I didn’t want to seem weak. “I’m not cold. This will dry quickly.”
His jaw clenched as his eyes traced the shadow of my belly and down my legs to my feet. “Sure.” Turning away, he wiped his jaw with a slightly shaky hand.
Another boom of thunder made me jump.
For so long, I’d wanted to be close to Jacob.
But now that I was, I didn’t know how to relax.
All I could think about was how inappropriate this was. How being alone in a cabin in the middle of a storm with a boy I’d never forgotten was the exact opposite of being a good girlfriend.
And I couldn’t leave.
Not yet.
I had an entire night in this tiny hut with him.
God, it was a fantasy turned nightmare.
My conscience condemned me, and I moved to the small table, fumbling with my bag that I hoped was waterproof enough to protect the one asset that connected me to the outside world.
I turned on my phone that I’d scooped from the sand. Granules and raindrops turned it into a mess.
But it still worked.
And my heart sank. Guilt filled up the space left behind, drowning me.
Three missed calls from Michael.
God.
“You okay?” Jacob asked, moving to sit on the bed. The sight of him on a mattress scrambled up my insides, adding more shame to my disgrace.
I can’t do this.
Squinting at the top corner of my phone, I sighed in relief at the two bars of reception. I didn’t know how the local infrastructure worked where electricity and phone reception existed on a remote beach, but I was incredibly grateful.
“I-I’m just going outside for a sec.”
“What?” His tone wrenched my eyes up. “It’s pissing down outside.”
“I know, but there’s something I need to do.”
“Something more important than staying away from a potential lightning strike?”
I smiled sadly. “Yes.”
If I didn’t make this phone call, I deserved to be struck by lightning.
He shrugged, sitting on his bed with sprawled legs and a perfection I’d never get over. “Fine. Don’t leave the deck. I have no intention of walking in the rain to find you if you get lost.”
I nodded. “Noted.” Clutching my phone, I looked at Jacob.
Truly looked at him.
I drank in the barriers, the fears, the anger.
I knew him perhaps better than anyone alive today, yet we’d only ever kissed twice.
He’d successfully ruined me for anyone else just by being my friend.
And if I could be this in love with him, this heartsick over him, I wasn’t being fair to such a nice guy like Michael.
I was being my mother.