One more hit for good measure.
Flicking my lighter on, I held it to the rapidly dwindling weed just as Hope fell into the room thanks to shoulder-ramming the wonky front door.
She tripped and almost tumbled, catching herself on the handle. Her phone skittered across the floor as her eyes soared to mine and her nose wrinkled at the smell.
For a second, she froze.
She took in the sight of me, pipe in hand, lighter burning, and for the quickest of heartbeats, she understood. But then, hell consumed her, and she bolted across the room, snatched my pipe and tossed it out the door.
She shook her hand where the hot metal had burned her, turning on me with undiluted rage. “What the fuck do you think you are doing!?”
I’d never heard Hope curse.
Not once.
I blinked, grateful of the haze, thankful that the energy she vibrated with didn’t infect me to battle. “Geez, calm down.”
“Calm down? Calm down?” Grabbing my cheeks, she dug fingernails into my flesh. “You’re smoking. Seriously? You’re putting carcinogens into your lungs! What the hell were you thinking, Jacob? Your lungs of all things!” Letting go, she paced in front of me, wild and wet from the rain. “You should protect your lungs at all costs. Your dad…” She choked. “Your dad died of lung issues. Didn’t you think of that before sucking on smoke that can kill you?”
My temper steadily slithered through my buzz. Standing, I pointed a fairly steady finger in her face. “What I do with my lungs are none of your concern.”
“Wrong. They are my concern. They’ve been my concern for eleven years!”
“I don’t follow your logic.” I scowled. “I’m not yours to worry about.”
“You might not be, but it doesn’t stop me from worrying!” She yanked hands through her drenched hair, sadness cloaking her. “What would your mother say? What about your aunt? Your grandfather? If they knew you were smoking after what you all went through with Ren….God, it would crush them.”
That got my attention.
That got my fury boiling enough to shove away my self-induced fog. “My mother is dead, so she has no opinions.”
“But the rest of your fam—”
“Shut up, Hope.”
“I’ve shut up enough around you. I think I should speak. I think I should finally have the guts to say the truth.”
“What truth?”
“The truth that you need to grow the hell up!”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Stop being such a broken little boy.”
Rage pumped my heart; furious blood filled my veins. “Don’t go there, Hope. You won’t like what’ll happen if you do.”
“Well, we have the whole night to entertain ourselves. What else is there to do, huh? Pussy-foot around each other?” She laughed coldly. “You just drugged yourself to avoid spending time with me. To avoid facing whatever it is you don’t want to face.” She came too close, bringing the scent of lemonade mixed with raindrops and the wildness of Cherry River.
Had she been home while I’d been gone?
Had she walked my paddocks and stroked my horses and infiltrated my family behind my back?
“Why are you even here? I didn’t want you here. I didn’t ask you to come.”
“No, you’d never ask for something like that.” Her eyes flashed. “You’re Jacob Wild. The loner. The thief of hearts and destroyer of hope.”
“You’re saying I destroyed you?”
“I’m saying you don’t deserve me.”
I sneered, struggling to figure out what I could and couldn’t say. “That’s not news. I’ve known that all along.”
“Wait…you have?”
“Why else do you think I stayed away?”
“Because you’re afraid to love thanks to death.”
“Yeah, but also because you scared me shitless.”
She stopped pacing, her chest rose and fell. The see-through fabric of her dress drove me insane. Despite the weed in my system, my body hardened, reacted, wanted.
“I scared you?” Her head tilted like a bird; an innocent, sweet little bird which was a total lie because she was a master at manipulating me. Pushing me. Shoving me. Breaking me.
“You’ve known that from the beginning.”
“No, I’ve known you barely tolerated me.”
“Barely survived you, you mean.” Shit, the drugs blurred my ability to keep secrets. What I shouldn’t say blended with what I should. I couldn’t distinguish the two.
Her temper simmered a little. “Why are you here, Jacob? Why did you run from your family when they needed you the most?”
My temper bubbled over. “I didn’t run. I kept a promise to my mother. And they didn’t need me. They have each other. They’re not…blood.”
“They’re as much your family as I am.”
“Yet you aren’t my family so what a stupid point to prove.”
“I’m your friend, even when you’re being a jackass.”
“I believe we agreed our friendship ended when I tossed you from Cherry River.”
“You want to talk about that? Yes, let’s talk about that.” She inhaled deep. “Do you know how many nights I cried over you?” She resumed her pacing, our fight picking up heat. “How many times I wrote you letters I couldn’t send? How many times I called numbers that didn’t connect?” She tugged her silver locket as if she wanted to break the chain and throw it at me. “I took this off. I had no choice. For two years, it sulked in a box as I did my best to find where I belonged. But then I thought, screw you. I refused to give you the power to hurt me anymore, so I put it back on.”