“Space away from me?”
“Exactly.”
“You just found me, and now you’re running away?”
“Guess it’s my turn to run this time, huh?”
“Wow, you really are on form tonight.” I stalked toward her. “What the hell changed? We were having a normal conversation. We were getting along. Now you’re jumping down my throat for things that aren’t my fault.”
She vibrated with temper. “That’s the thing, Jacob. It is your fault. All of it is your fault. It’s your fault I can’t be around you when that’s all I want to be. It’s your fault I’m afraid of talking to you when I have so much to say. It’s your fault I can’t just be your friend when I tried so, so hard to be.”
My feet locked to the floor. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I came here, all the while knowing this is how I’d react, and thought I’d be able to handle it. That I’d see you again and could ignore how I used to feel about you. Oh, who am I kidding? How I used to feel about you? It’s more like how I still feel about you. It doesn’t go away. As much as I wish it would, I’m still stupidly in love with you, and just being in this room is killing me because I know you’ll never love me in return. It’s torture living like this. I-I don’t want to keep doing this to myself.”
Everything inside me locked down. The weed no longer affected me. The gentle buzz evaporated thanks to rage and fear and temper. “What happened to your ‘I’m strong enough to deal with being hurt’ spiel?”
“I lied.”
“You didn’t lie. You’re lying now.” I studied her. “You’re being weak by running. Which isn’t happening by the way. I didn’t ask you here, Hope. But I’m not letting you run around like a moron in an electrical storm. I’m sorry you can’t stand the sight of me, but that’s your issue, not mine. You’re staying here until the weather clears and then I’ll drive you back to—”
“No, I’ll walk. I’ve walked home after a bad date before. I can do it again.” Barging past me, her feet stomped the bare wood as she beelined for the door. Her hand wrapped around the handle, and something broke inside me.
Something splintered and shattered. The thought of her walking away crippled me. It crippled me worse than the thought of her staying.
Crossing the room in a few fast strides, I grabbed her shoulders, spun her around, and pushed her against the door. “I’m not a bad date you get to abandon.”
“You’re right. You’re not a date at all.” She squirmed in my hold. “Now, let me go.”
“No. You’re not leaving.”
“I am. Call your aunt. She has something important to tell you.”
“I don’t care what she has to say.”
“You will. Believe me.”
“Wrong.” I brushed my nose against hers. “All I care about right now is keeping you safe from the rain.”
“That’s very chivalrous of you, Jacob, but faced with walking in the rain or sleeping here with you, I choose the rain.” She tried to push me away. “Let go of me.”
“Not until you stop fighting.” I cupped her cheek. “You’re staying.”
“I’m not.”
“For once in your life, you’re going to do what I tell you.”
She laughed coldly. “How about once in your life, you realise how much you’re hurting me just by being you?”
My heart bled all over the floor. “I hurt you? What about the way you hurt me?”
Her cheeks pinked. “I don’t hurt you. You’re immune to me.”
“You hurt me every fucking second. You hurt me just by existing.”
“Why would you say something like that?”
“Because it’s true.” My thumb traced her bottom lip, disobeying my command to back away. “You call me stupid, Hope. But you’re just as blind.”
She shivered. “Let me go, Jacob.”
“Can’t.” My feet inched closer, slipping my body against hers. She gasped as I wedged my weight on her, pressing her into the door. “Fuck, I can’t.”
I’d kissed this girl with a concussion, and when I was drunk.
Both weren’t of clear mind and rational thought.
What would kissing her be like after smoking a pipe?
“Don’t do this, Jacob. Please, please don’t do this.”
I was intoxicated. My voice slurred with sex. “Do what?”
She whimpered as my mouth hovered over hers. “This.”
“This?”
“Kiss me.”
I knew she requested I stop, but in my current fog, all I heard was a command.
Kiss me.
God, yes, I’ll kiss you.
I collapsed against her, slamming my lips to hers and erasing four long years apart.
She tasted just like she had that night in the stables. Sweet and heady and strong—so goddamn strong.
She wriggled in my embrace, her lips tight under mine, fighting me all while I begged her for welcome. “Stop.” Her mumble against my mouth only spurred me on.
My hands fisted into her hair, holding her steady to kiss her deeper.