“Ribbon—” I grunted as her back arched, forcing herself onto me, ramming herself down my length.
“I hate you because I won’t survive.”
My body was stiff and awkward, every neuron locked inside her. “You will. You have to.”
“I don’t want to.” Her mouth opened wide as I yanked her hair back and kissed her. My chest pressed to her back, riding her, knees digging into sleeping bags, and tent shivering with our speed.
I grunted, “You have no choice.”
“I do have a choice.”
I drove harder, deeper, crueller. “You don’t. I can’t face this if I believe otherwise.”
Her face twisted into anguish. “Fuck you.”
“I’ll fuck you instead.” Thrusting faster, I nipped at her ear. “I’ll always be inside you, Della.”
I rippled with the need to release. The toxic blend of punishment and pleasure was a dangerous place to be. I couldn’t treat her gently. I couldn’t keep my touch soft. I couldn’t be nice anymore.
She felt me losing control and tried to make me come, teeth snapping at my mouth, back hollowing as she speared herself deeper onto me.
I tried to kiss her, but she merely bit me, utter wretchedness tumbling from her soul. A second later, she moaned with joy as I gave her the fury she wanted.
I fucked her harder.
“Is this what you want?”
She moaned. “I want you forever. That’s what I want.”
“And you have me forever.”
She wriggled beneath me, activating predator instincts that planted a fist in her lower back, keeping her prone and open.
She groaned, guttural and feral, just like me. Fighting me for no other purpose than to piss me off.
She looked over her shoulder. “If you loved me, you’d stay.”
What a horrid thing to say.
What a disgusting slur to utter.
“Don’t you think I’m trying?” My anger turned to rage, and I fucked her with contempt instead of everlasting love. “You’ve pushed me too far, Della.”
She bucked and pleaded, and I lost myself to her.
I’m sorry.
So goddamn sorry.
She made me angry, so fucking angry. She made me sad, so eternally sad.
And I didn’t want to be either of those things because I had to be strong for her.
She squirmed as my rough palms caressed her spine, massaging with possessive strokes.
Grabbing handfuls of her ass, I forced her legs to spread wider, her feet kicking, flashing me her ribbon tattoo, drowning me in memories; painful, shard-filled memories of our shared childhood, stabbing me over and over, craving, wanting, begging.
A cough caught me unaware.
Another cough followed that one.
And I bent over, clamping my teeth into her shoulder, stifling any more.
I refused to be ill.
I refused to be a faulty clock deciding how many minutes I could have with her.
“I love you, Della.” My cock throbbed, hard as wood; my mind raced, a mess with desire. I looped an arm around her stomach, holding her tight as I thrust into her from behind. “Forever.”
Rage drenched my blood. Anger at life and love and loss.
My hips pistoned faster, taking out my sadness on her—letting her taste a little of the fury inside me. The grief and yearning for more.
Her head snapped up as my fingers found her clit, rubbing fast and hard. “God—”
Her body tightened around me, preparing for a release.
I loved taking her like this. Loved dancing on the border of animal and human, right and wrong, sexy and sadistic.
There were so many things I wanted to do to her.
So many, many things.
Would time give them to me?
“You’ve broken me, Ribbon. And now, I have to break you.” I reared up on my hands, driving my body into hers, unapologetic, untamed, unforgiving.
She wanted me rough.
She had me.
I was jerky and fierce.
I was lost and afraid.
I was in love and utterly in pieces.
I wanted to punish her for the life she’d have after me. I wanted to free her from the pain I was about to cause her.
I hated her.
I loved her.
I missed her so fucking much already.
“God, Ren.” Her cry unravelled the final parts of me, and I lost the remaining pieces that made me hers.
I fucked and thrust and layered her with bruises upon bruises.
And still, she begged for more.
My teeth found her skin, and my body answered hers. And our hearts clanged and pounded to the same song, the melody giving way to a crescendo, the crescendo exploding to the finale, and we rode that song until sweat glistened and moans echoed, and our bodies found the same pleasure as our hearts.
We came together, fast and spent.
We loved each other, even though it hurt.
We were bonded, so there would be a forever.
And not even death could stop us.
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
DELLA
* * * * * *
2021
“WHAT ABOUT JULIE?”
I cracked open my gaze, shaking my head on Ren’s naked chest. “No.”
“Holly?”
“Nah.”
“Daphne?”
“Definitely not.” I peeled my face from his skin and rolled my eyes. “You’re bad at baby naming.”
“Those are common, nice names.”
“Yes, and they’re all girls.”