“We’re looking forward to the party,” Mila says as she settles in the front passenger seat. “Aren’t we, Isaac?”
“Yes. I want to play with Liam,” Isaac says.
“Didn’t you tell me that he has a sister?” Mila says.
They sound so happy, I dump my idea of asking them if we can forgo the party and just stay home. I don’t want to go anywhere in case the court evaluator comes and finds no one home.
“He does, but I don’t like girls,” Isaac says with a tone filled with disgust.
Mila chuckles, and I feel her glance at me. I manage a small laugh.
“One day you’ll like them,” Mila says to Isaac.
They chat all the way home, but I can’t bring myself to join in on the conversation. I could lose Isaac! This thought keeps running through my mind, immobilizing me with fear. Logic tells me I should relax, but how can I when my little boy could be wrenched away from me?
“Anything special you want to wear?” Mila asks Isaac as I guide the car into our street.
“Yes,” he says, his sweet innocent voice brightening with excitement. He goes on to tell Mila what he plans on wearing for the party.
I can feel Mila’s questioning looks. I know she’s worried about my silence, but how do I put into words the panic that grips me every time I think about the looming custody case. Unless you’re in my shoes, it’s very difficult to understand, and I don’t expect her to.
“A shower first for you,” I tell Isaac as we get into the house.
“Can’t I shower later after the party?” Isaac says.
“Not going to happen.” My tone is mild, as I’m used to Isaac’s love-hate relationship with water. I place a firm hand on his back and propel him toward his room, and after he undresses, to the shower.
Behind us, Mila chuckles. “I’ll be in the shower.”
A few days ago, that sentence would have gotten me hard immediately, but with my worries about the court evaluator, I merely wave at Mila. My body is tight with tension as I scrub Isaac clean in the shower.
By the time I’m done getting Isaac ready, Mila is in our bedroom dressing. I shut the door, my eyes glued to her voluptuous figure as she applies lotion.
“Are you all right?” she says. “You’ve been awfully quiet all afternoon.” Lines of worry crease her forehead.
Guilt floods me. It’s not fair to make Mila worry about me. I plaster a smile on my face. “I’m fine. I’ll just hop into the shower before we get late.” I hope my smile convinces her that I’m fine. I plant a kiss on her sweet soft lips and head to the bathroom.
***
The party is in full swing when we arrive at the Coopers’ home. Cars have filled both streets, and we park further along from the house. I open the car door for Mila, and before I can open Isaac’s, he’s already jumped out.
“You look very pretty,” I tell Mila.
She smiles nervously. “I’m glad. I thought you hated how I’m dressed,” she says, hands running down the sides of her dress.
“Why would you think that?” I ask her, puzzled.
She shrugs and looks vulnerable. “You didn’t say anything at all.”
I want to grab her and hold her tight. At the same time, I want to kick myself. How could I have been so insensitive to her needs? I take a step closer and pull her into my arms, not caring that we’re out in public. “I’m sorry; I was a little distracted. You’re the most beautiful woman I know, and if I had my way, you’d be walking around with nothing on.”
She wasn’t expecting that, and her cheeks color.
“Dad, can we go now?” Isaac says.
I plant a noisy kiss on Mila’s mouth, and hand in hand, we cross the road and make for the Coopers’ house.
Jason Cooper answers our knock, and he lets out a bellow of a welcome. Like all of us firefighters, he’s a gym addict, and he’s buffed and fit.
“Welcome,” he says and claps my back.
After saying hello to Isaac, he smiles at Mila and takes her hand. Bowing low, he kisses the back of her hand. Jason really knows how to put on the charm. Mila is smiling widely. “Mrs. Bennet, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Jason Cooper, and this here is my wife, Brooke.”
Brooke slips an arm around her husband’s waist. Jason looks at her, and a warm, loving look passes between them. My throat thickens. I’ve always envied the pure honest love between them. Their love grew from a tragedy for both of them.
Brooke’s brother, Marvin Foster, was Jason’s best friend. He and his wife Ellie died in a grisly road accident on their way home from their honeymoon. It had been a horrible time for the LA fire department, losing one of their own.