“And we are squirming like a worm on a hook because?” Georg scolded.
“I need my phone; can you grab it for me?” I was suddenly, all sweetness and charm.
“We’re in a hurry, can your phone call wait?” He was still so testy.
“No,” I then leaned over to grab it as Liam bounded through the door as if he were watching me on a security camera and then it hit me, he probably was. I was definitely losing my mind. “Have you been watching me this whole time?” I accused.
“Yes. No. Maybe…” was his awful answer.
Georg was putting my hair in hot rollers as Liam approached me.
“I wasn’t really spying but then… yeah. I was spying.” He pulled up a chair and scooted it next to me. “I figured you’d probably be freaking out about now and I was absolutely correct. So, Prince Charming to the rescue.” His dashing smile did nothing for me.
“I can do my own hair, Liam,” I growled.
“Oh yes, you can and dress yourself too, but Ireland isn’t quite ready for Avery Johnson. Give them a minute and I’m sure they will be. Bear with all of this until the newness has worn off.” He said that with a straight face.
“Says the man who’s had a different woman in this chair every week for most of his adult life.”
I came to wonder whether I was anything at all to Liam. I realized I was probably just the end of a line. Liam’s time had run out and his playboy ways had to be curbed or he would lose his opportunity to sit on a throne. I wasn’t special or important and I don’t know why I thought I would be. We had known each other for only two days. Fantasies did not exist in reality. This wasn’t a romance novel. This was me stressed out at a charity function and letting my vagina pick a man who was completely inappropriate. This was me fucking a man with an expert dick because he had an incredible accent, a shock of beautiful golden ginger hair, and a game so well-honed I fell right into his trap.
Yes, he was offering me an opportunity to be in a stable relationship and have children, but it was all contractual. Sitting in the chair with Georg rolling painfully warm rollers into my scalp all for a lunch date with the king of Ireland, I realized I was applying for a 24-hour job I suddenly did not want.
“Guilty as charged. I have sampled a lot of women as I’ve already told you.” Well, at least he didn’t back away from it. “When lunch is over and this dreaded day is behind us, we are going off-grid for a few days so you can acclimate. Everything you are experiencing now is completely normal,” he started.
“None of this is normal,” I corrected.
“Yes, well, normal for a member of the monarchy. What you are doing now and are contemplating doing in the future has been done for hundreds of years. Yes, I’m aware that it is part of the problem, but we can’t be the solution without understanding what’s broken. So… on that note. Lunch. There are some rules of engagement I have to go over with you and we are almost out of time.” I gave a childish sigh just to punctuate my displeasure with everything, which made him laugh as he went over a laundry list of rules. “No one eats before the king. We can, however, finish after him as he doesn’t usually stay that long. I think he likes his duties less than you will, so he’ll eat, go over whatever he wants to say and then dismiss himself to have a pint and a burger in his own residence. He truly was a great father when I was young, despite being the king of Ireland, but when my mother died and word got out that I wasn’t acting like a model son or citizen, we sort of fell out with each other. We’ve never cared nor bothered to work on our relationship. This is going to be a good thing for you because we won’t have to suffer him for that long.”
Their relationship sounded really depressing. At least I had a great father despite him being a little awkward and dorky. I still loved my father with everything I had and suddenly I missed him too.
“That sounds awful.” I dropped my guard enough to share a little empathy.
“Yes, it is pretty awful at times.” He continued as if the awfulness of his relationship with his father was an unexceptional part of his life. “Despite this, he will scrutinize you, perhaps looking for you to be my salvation or my ultimate downfall. This is where I am going to beg you and if you want me on my hands and knees before I have you alone and naked, fine, I’ll beg on my hands and knees.”