Playing to Win

We decided to do a song he already knew really well by his favorite band. Carbine was a bit country, a bit blues, and lot rock. It helped I liked them, too, and already knew a lot of their songs.

We only had two and a half weeks left until the talent show and call me crazy, but I knew Payton would be ready.

We worked on the song for a few more minutes but then Payton stopped playing.

“Hey, Asher?”

“Yeah?” I started picking out a tune I’d been humming all morning.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Something about the tone of his voice made me stop and look at him. “Sure, kid. Anything.”

Payton hadn’t opened up much, but we talked a little. Ms. Jackson gave me some guidelines. I could be Payton’s friend, but I wasn’t a trained professional. I couldn’t be his counselor.

“What would you do if-” he stopped, his face twisting with indecision.

I stared at him for a second. “Is this a question for you or for a friend?”

His face cleared a little. “A friend.”

I nodded. “Okay. What is it?”

“Let’s say this friend,” he gave me a look. “Payson, has another friend, named Toby. And Toby gets in trouble a lot.”

I raised my eyebrows and Payton had the good grace to appear somewhat remorseful.

“No, man. Like real trouble.”

“Okay. What about this Toby guy?” It made sense Payton had friends who got into real trouble as he put it.

“Well, Payson and Toby have been friends for a long time. But Toby’s bad news and Payson’s trying to,” Payton glanced at the ground and shrugged before meeting my eyes again. “Payson wants to stop doing that stuff with Toby.”

Hmm. I sat back in my chair and studied Payton. “What’s keeping Payson from telling Toby to take a hike?”

Payton made a face. “We’ve, um, they’ve been friends a long time. Payson’s kind of hoping Toby will, you know, stop doing all the other stuff.”

“Toby’s the reason Payson’s been getting in so much trouble?” I asked, lifting one brow to let Payton know I knew exactly who we were talking about.

Payton’s shoulders fell, but he kept up the pretense. “Yeah, man. It’s like he’s two different people. When he’s around Toby, he wants Toby to still like him, so he does sh-, I mean, crap he knows he shouldn’t.” Payton smiled, guilty as hell. “Sometimes, it’s kind of fun, right. But then,” his smile died. “But then, he gets home and his parents are mad and his mom’s crying and he knows he’s just a punk kid who’s all messed up.”

Well, crap.

Now what?

I took a full minute without saying anything to think about what Payton had just told me. I knew exactly what he felt, had been there before myself, had even done stupid stuff because I wanted my friends to keep being my friends and felt like I had to follow along for that to happen.

Sitting forward in my chair, I rested my elbows on my knees. “Dude, you already know the answer, right? You can’t let other people decide your destiny. This guy, Toby, he doesn’t care about you.” Payton frowned and I didn’t know if it was because I’d hit a nerve or because I’d dropped the Payson lie. Or both. “I know it sounds cliche, but it’s true. If Toby was really your friend, he wouldn’t pressure you to do things you don’t want to do. Man, five minutes of fun is not worth a lifetime of negative consequences. I promise.”

Payton chewed on his lip. “I told him I joined a band the last time he wanted to hang out. He made fun of me. Said he bet my band sucked. It’s not even true. I just needed an excuse other than hockey because he knows I’ve skipped practice to hang out with him before. That’s why my dad takes me, but Toby thinks I can ditch my dad, no big deal.”

“Payton, that’s manipulation. He’s playing on your emotions to get you to do what he wants you to do. Don’t fall for that bull. And if he was your friend, he wouldn’t want you to get in trouble with your dad.” I thought for a minute. “Why don’t you start a band? Do you know anybody who plays?” Payton had a decent singing voice.