“For now, it fills the role of walking stick.” She gestured in invitation. “Try strolling with it. Swing it carefully but with aplomb.”
“Aplomb?”
“That’s what it says in the book. And remember, take your time. Be leisurely.”
He exhaled in an attempt to breathe past his frustration. No one had promised him this enterprise would be easy. There was pleasure, too, in overcoming obstacles—or so he reminded himself.
Steeling himself, he began to walk. It was a challenge, maintaining an exaggeratedly upright bearing while pointing his toes and swinging the branch-cum-walking-stick, and after a few steps, his every muscle was white-hot with effort.
“What the deuce do gentlemen do if they’re in a hurry?” he said through clenched teeth. “It’d take me a quarter of an hour to walk ten yards.”
“Perhaps gentlemen of fashion are never in a hurry,” she suggested.
“It could be an emergency. Someone could be on fire and I’m carrying a bucket of water.”
She shrugged. “Bring them the bucket—elegantly.”
“Christ above, this is ridiculous.” Exasperation sizzled through him, and he couldn’t decide which aggravated him most: the cryptic rules of polite society that seemed to flout common sense, or himself, for being unable to decipher the encoded rules.
“It is,” she said with a nod. “But it’s what we have to do.”
He resisted the impulse to curse even more floridly. Being unable to perform for himself was an annoyance, but being unable to perform for Grace charred him with self-directed fury.
“Sebastian.” She lay a hand on his arm. The feel of her was both a thrill and a balm. “Look at me.”
He fixed his gaze with hers, and the flames of his frustration were quenched by the cool blue of her eyes. The crush of thoughts whirling in his mind calmed. He couldn’t quite recall what had made him so angry, not with her touching him and her gaze holding his.
“The only person who expects you to immediately get this right is you,” she said softly.
“They used to pay me to write their papers for them,” he said. “Students at Eton, and then at Oxford. Hardly mattered the topic. Present me with an assignment, and I can figure out precisely what to say and how to say it. That’s never in doubt. The same can be said for a physical task. Swim from one end of a lake to the other, or run a mile as quickly as possible—I can do all that.”
“But this stymies you.”
He nodded, relieved that she understood him, yet that relief guttered when she took her hand from his arm.
“You’ll do this, Sebastian. I’ve every faith that you can meet this challenge.”
The gentle conviction in her words lifted him. It was a benediction, to have her trust, when he knew she gave it so sparingly.
“How about we move on to bowing,” she suggested. “We can circle back to walking another time.”
Seb straightened his shoulders as his hands curled into fists at his sides. He could do this. He would do this.
“Yes, bowing.” He shook out his body, loosening it. “What do I have to do?”
Bent over her book, she read aloud. “‘A gentleman must present himself as the epitome of effortless grace and studied artlessness.’” She looked up with a frown. “How can one study artlessness?”
“That’s what you get with a culture that loves its stratifications.” He snorted. “Try, but not too hard. The more effort you expend, the less likely you are to attain your goal.”
She blew at the strands of hair that had worked free from their pins to charmingly frame her face. “It’s so much easier in the animal kingdom. Eat, sleep, procreate.”
Heat crept up his neck to hear her say procreate. Again, a word that itself wasn’t particularly salacious, but on her lips . . . Mentally, he gave himself a shake. Stay focused on the task.
“There’s also avoiding becoming someone’s dinner,” he said. “Seems similar to life amongst human elite. Wait—I could put that in my book.” He pulled a notebook from his pocket and scribbled on a blank page.
“I’ve seen packs of ravening matrons devour helpless debutantes like lionesses tearing into gazelles on the savannah.” She shuddered. “A sight that will haunt me to my grave. And one of the reasons why, after my first Season, I’ve avoided balls, assemblies, and any other festive gatherings. I was easy prey.”