But not for all the chocolate cake in the world would Daisy ever let on that she found either one of the brothers attractive. The women would all—with the exception of her sisters and their childhood friend, Tilda—tease her mercilessly and cruelly, knowing that she didn’t stand a chance with either man. Daisy was well aware of her so-called shortcomings, and she was resigned to them, but that didn’t mean she would ever give this bunch of bitches any fodder to chew on.
So she remained hidden away in her corner, pretending to laugh at their stupid comments and have a blast while they played their silly little hen party games in a venue that they had chosen because they wanted to “live dangerously.” Please, like Ralphie’s was such a dive. It was just a regular sports bar, but it was so far removed from these women’s lives that to them it probably seemed like the ghetto.
Daisy sighed and reminisced about a time when her family had been just normal. A bit more well-off than some, but normal just the same. Their father was a vet, for God’s sake. You couldn’t get more ordinary than that.
Normalcy had fled after her parents had joined a snooty local country club when Daisy was ten and her sisters thirteen and fourteen. Daisy had watched the other women in her family go crazy after that. Everything became about the right clothes, the right makeup, the right jewelry, the right men . . . and because she would rather hang out with her father and the animals, Daisy found herself drifting apart from her mother and sisters. Her father was as baffled by the transformation as Daisy, and together father and youngest daughter weathered the storm of shopping and pretentiousness that became their new norm.
The other women were moving on from their previous topic of conversation and were once again focused on Lia’s party.
“This one next.” Nina Clark, one of their long-standing—and more likable—family friends held up a tiny gift bag. Lia peeked into the bag and squealed when she saw what was hidden beneath the tissue.
“Don’t act all coy, you’re so using those on your wedding night.” Nina laughed as she took a sip of her rum and coke. Everybody had been disappointed upon discovering that Ralphie’s wasn’t the type of establishment to serve frothy, pretty cocktails. In fact—after the women had delighted in inundating their shy young server with orders of “screaming orgasms,” “slippery nipples,” and “blowjobs”—Ralphie himself had hastened over to curtly inform them that he didn’t serve exotic cocktails and they would have to order beers or hard liquor.
“Show us,” Zinzi demanded, and Lia lifted a pair of furry pink handcuffs and a satin blindfold to the squealing delight of the other women.
Daisy winced and once again eyed her gift, which lay at the bottom of the pile. She had somehow missed the fact that they would be doing naughty gifts only, and Daisy knew that her present would go down like a lead balloon. She glanced down at her phone for what felt like the thousandth time tonight and willed time to speed up. Lia had a late dinner with her fiancé and his parents tonight and had to leave at eight. It would be awesome if eight o’clock rolled by before Lia opened Daisy’s present, but her luck was never that good, and she watched nervously as her sister reached for yet another gift from the shrinking pile in the middle of the table.
“What the hell is that?” Tilda asked from the other side of the table when Lia pulled the gift out of the bag, and Daisy was grateful her friend had asked because she had no idea either. It was a weird, alien-looking silicone thing, and Daisy couldn’t quite figure out what it was for.
“Cock ring,” Shar educated smugly. “It vibrates for his pleasure and has a little rabbit attached for hers.”
Lia, who had been as red as a tomato for most of the evening, blushed even more, and Daisy felt her own cheeks heating in sympathy. This evening had certainly been . . . educational, to say the least.
There were only two gifts remaining now, and Daisy cast another desperate look down at her phone. Five minutes to eight. Lia let out yet another scandalized squeak and lifted the crotchless panties with matching demi bra and garter set that Tilda had given her.
“Oh my God, Tilda, those are so naughty.” Daff sniggered and Tilda grinned.
“I figure they’ll thrill the hell out of Clayton Edmonton the Third,” Tilda said drily.
“Best have a killer wax job done on the lady garden before you wear these,” Zinzi advised. “A full-on Hollywood.”
“Ugh, I hate going fully bald; it’s so creepy,” Daff said, wrinkling her nose. Daisy heartily concurred with her sister’s sentiment but didn’t say as much, knowing it would only drive some of the other “ladies” present to express surprise that Daisy even tended her “lady garden.”