The Forbidden

“I have a scotch ready when you need it, son,” Dad says flippantly, dealing the cards out to Jason and Micky.

My heart could burst. Normal. This is all normal. This is how I’ve wanted it to be from the moment I fell for Jack, but how it couldn’t be. I wanted to share everything about the man I’d fallen for with my friends. I wanted to talk girlie about the kisses, the sex, the feelings. I wanted to tell Mum and Dad that I’d met someone who’d knocked me off my feet, and I wanted to do this. Share him with them. I wanted Mum to love him, to welcome him into her home. For him to be part of the family.

Beyond wanting Jack so desperately, I also wanted this.

Acceptance. Love. Normalcy.

“I understand now,” Lizzy says, pulling me from my reflections. I look at her in question, and she smiles, faintly but genuinely. “Seeing you together, I understand. Everyone does.”

I nod, blinking back my tears, more thankful than I’ve ever been.

* * *

“How tired are you?” Jack asks as he pulls away from my parents’ house and I wave my good-bye.

It’s been a wonderful evening. I’ve laughed, I’ve soaked up the affection that Jack has showered me with, and I’ve relished the fond looks that have been thrown his way by all of my friends and family. They get it. They understand. I let my head fall back and roll to the side so he’s in my sights. “I’m not tired at all.”

He smiles at the road. “You’re lying, but I’m not going to argue with you. There’s somewhere I want to take you.”

“Then take me,” I tell him, once again happy to let him take charge. We drive back into the city, chatting about nothing in particular, and Jack parks up in a side street in central London. “Where are we?”

He doesn’t answer, getting me out of the car in silence. “You okay to walk for a few minutes?”

“Yes. Where are we going?”

Again, my question is ignored, and Jack starts walking us toward the main road up ahead. I remain quietly curious until he brings us to a stop on the pavement, turning to me. “We’re here,” he says quietly.

I frown and look up, quickly realizing where here is. I lose my breath for only a moment. “Where we met,” I murmur, looking through the windows into the bar.

“Back to the beginning.” Jack leads me in and heads straight for the exact spot on the bar where he had me bent over. So many memories, vivid and clear, power to the forefront of my mind. He helps me onto a bar stool, takes one up himself, and faces me. “Are you drunk?” he asks seriously, staring deeply into my eyes.

My smile must be cracking my face. I decide to play his game, just like I decided to play his game on that fateful night I met him. “Not in the slightest.”

“Care to prove it?” His head tilts, and there’s a small pout on his lips.

“Yes.” I nod decisively. “Are you going to bend me over the bar?”

“Don’t tempt me.” He grins, calling for the barman. “Two tequilas, please.” He tosses a note on the wood, making sure he brushes my hand tactically as he withdraws, his grin widening when I inhale. I’d love to tempt him, have him manipulate my body to where he wants it. I’d withstand the pain it would certainly spike, but I know Jack won’t indulge me that much. “Let’s play,” he murmurs, glancing up at me.

A rush of incredible, overwhelming happiness powers through me. “What do I have to do?”

Jack takes the salt and my hand, licking the back with a firm, long stroke, looking up at me as he does. “You taste good.”

“So I’m told,” I muse, watching as he sprinkles the salt. “Do you lick every woman you meet in a bar?”

“There’s only one woman I’ve ever licked, and ever will.”

“Lucky woman.”

“Lucky me,” he counters, bringing my hand to his mouth and lapping up the salt before knocking back the tequila. He hums his pleasure, unable to hold his smile back when I let mine break free. “There’s one more tequila,” he says, placing my hand on the bar by the glass. “And it’s yours.”

“I see something I’d like far more than tequila.” I go off script, saying what I really wanted to say the night I met Jack Joseph.

“Then take it.” He sits back on his stool, folding his arms over his broad chest. I glance around the bustling bar. We’re in public, out and about, in plain sight for everyone to see. And for the first time I don’t have to worry about keeping my hands to myself. I don’t have to worry about being seen with a man who I shouldn’t be with. It’s alien, and so very hard to wrap my head around. “What are you waiting for?” Jack asks, breaking into my thoughts.

The truth is, I don’t know. To wake up, maybe? I slip down from the stool with caution, and I can tell Jack struggles not to help me. His thighs part a little, inviting me in. I walk forward and take his arms, unfolding them from around his chest and directing them around my waist. He lets me guide his moves, putting myself between his legs and looking up at him. And I kiss him. In public, with passion, love, and everything I feel for him that I’ve never been able to share with the world. This man is mine.

“You move fast,” he says into my mouth. “I only bought you a drink, and now you’re trying to get me in bed.”

I chuckle, pulling back and finding his gray eyes. Gray eyes that are exploding with sparkles. “Take me home,” I whisper. I want him to put me in bed and lick me everywhere. I want him to kiss me, touch me, make love to me.

“Your wish is my command, baby.” He picks me up in the middle of the bar for all to see and strides out with me wrapped around him. But we don’t make it to the car, only to the end of the street. I’m placed on my feet on the curbside. “Wait there,” he orders gently, turning and checking the road for traffic before jogging across to the other side. When he arrives, he faces me, him on one side of the road, me on the other. A little sob escapes when I realize where we are and what he’s doing, as cars pass between us. He’s really taking us back to the start.

“You mentioned home,” he calls across to me, his gray eyes bright. “Look in your back pocket.”

I feel my forehead bunch as I feel my way to my bum, pulling out a piece of paper. Slowly unfolding it, I split my attention between Jack and whatever’s in my hand, curious and cautious all at once. I scan the sheet, which I quickly establish are the details of…

“Land?” I ask, too quietly for Jack to hear from across the road. I look up and find him looking pensive. “What is this?”

“Ours,” he calls. “I bought it for us.”

I let my gaze fall back to the paper in my hand, my head twisting, making it impossible for me to absorb the information staring up at me.

“Just say yes,” Jack shouts.

I laugh. “I don’t know what I’m saying yes to.”

He rolls his eyes dramatically, dropping his head back to look to the sky, like I’m slow. Then he paces across the road. I yelp when he lifts me from my feet, even though he does it with the utmost care, and I gasp when he cages me in against the brick wall behind me. “I love this wall,” he declares, all husky and low. It does my restraint no favors when he talks to me like that, especially when he’s talking about this wall. This wall that’s another part of our story, like the tequila, the bar, and the hotel that’s just around the corner where we went all night, exploring each other, getting to know each other’s bodies. Our hearts began to tangle tightly that night, so tightly nothing would ever pull us apart. “You’re saying yes to everything with me, Annie.” His lips hover a few millimeters from mine. “I’ve bought that land for us. You are going to design our home and—”

“You are going to build it,” I breathe, his plan finally making a breakthrough in my mind.

“Preferably with lots of bedrooms so we can fill them with babies.”

“Oh my God.” I drop the paper and squeeze him hard.

“It’s me and you, baby. The house, the kids, the life, everything. We’ll have it all.”

“I only ever wanted you,” I admit,

sinking my face into his neck. “I can’t believe I finally have you.”

“You more than have me, baby.” He holds me so strongly, his heart pounding against mine—our beats in sync, their rhythms perfectly matched, the powerful love weaving, tangling us tighter still. “You possess me. You own me. You rule me,” Jack murmurs in my ear. “You are everything to me, Annie Ryan. My pulse, my heartbeat, my breath. Everything.”

My vision clouds as the tears pool in my eyes. “I’m ready.”

“That’s good, because I paid the deposit yesterday.”

“No, you don’t understand what I’m saying, Jack.” I wrestle myself free and grab his hands, fixing him with a determined stare. “I’m ready.” I direct his touch to my stomach and watch as comprehension dawns on him. He shoots me a look, one that’s a mixture of uncertainty and elation.

“You’re ready?”

“Haven’t we had too much of our precious time taken already?” I ask.

“Way too much,” he agrees, his face pained.

“Take me home, Jack,” I order, sounding as sure as I feel. “Put me in bed, make love to me. Be gentle if you must, but please make love to me.”

He groans and deepens our kiss, gathering me up in his arms. His arms, the place where nothing can touch me. My sanctuary. My haven. My home.

I had an affair. I was that woman. I fell in love with a married man. It was wrong, and we both suffered for it. We have both lost something—a loss we will share forever. But we still have each other. Part of me feels robbed by whoever’s up there in charge of the fates for keeping Jack from me for too long. But we were always going to find each other, no matter what. No matter who tried to keep us apart. Even me and Jack ourselves. Nothing could stop it. Nothing could stop the connection that was so strong it sent our worlds into chaos.

Jack was never really forbidden. Because he was always mine. And I was always his. Even before we knew it. Even before we found each other.

But we found each other in the end. Yet this is not the end for us. This is just the beginning.

True love prevailed. The greatest love. Our love.

“I’ll hold your hand if you hold mine,” he mumbles around my lips.

“I’ll never let go.”

Acknowledgments

This one has been the toughest yet, and there’s no doubt I could not have gotten to the finish line without my trusted support network, especially the following people:

My wonderful agent, Andy. Your input and guidance have been invaluable. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your obsession with The Forbidden and your faith in me made me truly believe that I could step out of my comfort zone and give this story to my readers.

To Beth at Grand Central, you took a chance on an unknown author in early 2013 with a little book called This Man. You told me then that you weren’t in it for the short haul and that you were excited for my future. Eight novels later, your enthusiasm for my words has never wavered. Thank you so much for giving my stories a home at GCP. And, mostly, thank you for standing by your word. Here’s to the long haul and many more words.

To my editor stateside, Leah, and my editor here in the UK, Laura, you guys are pure gold. I can’t imagine my writing process without both of you there to support me. You two have played a key role in me making The Forbidden what it is. I can’t thank you enough for championing me and pushing me in what has been the hardest tale of passion that I’ve ever written. I couldn’t have done it without you. All of you.