Bad Boy of Baseball (Player Loves Curves 6)

He looks at me for the longest time. I’m about to get up, but he beats me to it. He stands and walks over to the couch slowly and with each step, my heart rate picks up another notch until I feel it’s going to explode when he sits down next to me, his leg against mine.

I’m still facing ahead, and he’s sitting sideways looking at me.

“Look at me, Hanna.”

I scoot back from him, giving myself room to breathe, and pull one leg up on the couch and face him.

“I know you’re sorry. There’s so many things I’m sorry for too. I should have fought for you. I shouldn’t have given up so easily. I shouldn’t have refused to see you. I was so fucked up in my head, devastated, and I sort of fell apart. I should have been stronger. For you. For me, for us.”

He reaches for me, grabbing my hand in his own. “I know we have a ways to go, Hanna, to get back to where we were. But I want to. I want you to be mine again. Fuck that, in my mind you were always mine, but now I want it to be true.”

I let him hold my hand, and I soak up the warmth that his touch always brings me. But I’m still hesitant. “Carter, I don’t blame you for any of this, but there’s so much that I’ve tried to overlook and force myself to be okay with.” He looks at me with confusion, and I can tell I’m screwing this up. “I haven’t been with anyone else, Carter. You’re the only man I’ve slept with and well, I know, well, I don’t want to be compared to you know, whatever you have going on.”

A look of apprehension flashes across his face. “Have I ever lied to you?”

I shake my head instantly. “No.”

He nods his head and blows out a deep breath. “When I left thinking that you were with someone else, it killed me.”

I try to pull my hand from his. “I don’t want to hear about them…”

He holds tight. “You have to listen to me, Hanna. This is hard, and embarrassing for me to say, but you need to hear it.”

I quit struggling and nod my head.

“I wanted to get you out of my head so bad. Everywhere I looked I thought I saw you. I started drinking—how in the world they haven’t kicked me out of the league I don’t know. But yeah, there were women. I wanted to find someone so I could do to them what I thought you had done to me. There were a lot of them. And I treated all of them like shit. I was wanting to forget you, but my mind, fuck my body wouldn’t let me betray you.”

I whisper, my throat thick with emotion, “What do you mean?”

His cheeks turn ruddy. “I couldn’t perform. No matter how badly I wanted to hurt you, to forget you, to put you out of my mind, I couldn’t, not with anyone. I haven’t been with anyone, in that way, since our graduation night.”

I fiercely shake my head. “There’s no way.”

But the look he’s giving me convinces me that he’s telling me the truth. “Trust me. I wouldn’t lie to you about this.”

I feel a knot of nerves in the pit of my stomach. “What about now? I mean…” I stop, too embarrassed to continue.

His mouth pulls to one side in a grimace. “My uh, problem was fixed the day I saw you on that stage and I haven’t had a problem since.”

I slap at his chest, laughingly. “Whatever, Carter. I’m fifty pounds more than I was in high school. You didn’t even recognize me at first, I’m sure.”

He catches my hand and now he’s holding both of them. “My body recognized you before I did. And thin or curvy, I want only you.”

“But…” I start, unsure.

He saves me. “We’re not in any rush, Hanna. I want this to work. We need to get to know each other again, and no matter how long that takes, I’m here for it.”

I slide closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder. “I’d like that. But maybe we can kiss. Like when you come home instead of me waiting on the sidelines while Maggie gets all the kisses, I can get in line too.”

I feel his jaw stretch into a smile. He kisses the top of my head. “I’d like that more than you’d know.”

11

Carter

It’s my first game back, and I found out I’m actually going to get in the game as the designated hitter. It’s way more than I was expecting, but I’ve made sure to put in the effort and hopefully it goes well.

As soon as I get to the field, I look out and see all my old teammates from the Mavericks. Of course they’re who I’m playing against, which raises my nerves a little more. I keep looking across the field, knowing I need to do something, say something. “You need to take care of something before you warm up, Arnold? Go do it.”